...and he'll voice your shit too whether you agree or not.

"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice... It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan." -Kanye West, The Associated Press

Our favorite Rap Napoleon won't be considered the voice of shit until he turns off that damn Auto-Tune. Can you believe the nerve on this twisted little nigga? I haven't heard Kanye's voice since before the "Lollipop" remix. As far as I can tell, he sounds like T-Pain and draws divine Jeezian inspiration for his lyrics.

Perhaps Kanye is on his way to being the voice coming from the padded cell next to Katt Williams'. Otherwise, I got nothin'.

Living and dying for the spotlight doesn't make one an authority on anything. I can step out to the curb right now and find an attention-hungry dopefiend who wants an ear to lean on almost as badly as he does the junk. Be assured that no one seeks any of this man's mentorship, nor would the block consider him a fair representation of community life.

He just like to talk. Sometimes we listen, as it can be quite entertaining to hear him go off about how he had the baddest gators back in '73 and how great sex was before condoms became mandatory.

I have no numbers to support this, but I think more people look at Mr. West as highly-entertaining gossip blog fodder than they do a mentor of any kind. The kids who consider Kanye a fair representation of themselves are either currently throwing a public temper tantrum or are on a barbiturate break from doing so.

To compare oneself to Michael Jordan, you have to have become a champion somehow--not just have watched His Airness on TV growing up. Aside from selling some records, Kanye hasn't been champion of shit save for maybe making bizarre and outlandish claims--usually regarding his own prematurely-defined legacy.

I recall Ye's last attempt at being the current generation's voice resulting in what the cool kids refer to as an "epic fail." While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, people weren't exactly lining up to associate with the sweaty palms and crackly voice that nonsensically and inappropriately blurted out political agenda during a televised Katrina fundraiser. George Bush doesn't care about black people, but that event was about raising money for the still-floating "finders" and "looters" suffering through the effects of a natural disaster. Instead Martin Luther Kanye used the voice that defines our place in history to alienate himself on several levels.

But... he totally speaks for all of us because he's a champion!*

Negro, please.

If Kanye really wants to be Jordan, he should know that MJ actually hasn't been the voice of shit... ever. He's made it a point to keep his gamblin, cheatin person away from pillars of influence. He let his game and his cologne and his drawers and his batteries and his Ghetto Big Macs and his ability to generate paper speak. That's all we've heard from Mike. It's worked out best for everyone that way, as over time we've learned being "like Mike" would entail life as a gambling and sex addict with piss-poor managerial skills and a repulsive, insufferable egomania.

The more Kanye throws his non-singing voice [into a plastic dick] around, the less effective and influential it will become.

Questions? Comments? Requests? One greater than Stevie Wonder? ron@ronmexicocity.com

*-in his own eyes, didn't you realize?