Nickelus F: Thank You

Now, I’m not a big fan of Drake and after listening to his homeboy, Nickelus F’s Thank You mixtape, I’m even less of a fan of Drake and not a fan of Nickelus F at all. Really, what’s the deal? He is by far the most average rapper out there. He sounds like a non-interesting GLC (His voice sounds like GLC’s at times).

His style is plain as a cracker (the cookie, not a white person), his lyrics say nothing and contain no content and his flow is as common as Lonnie Rashid Lynn Jr. when it’s not just lazy on the track like a rapper who already went 8 times platinum. His rhymes are about average but they don’t make you think or even pay attention. There’s times it reeks of tired metaphors that scream “listen to me! I put no effort into this so I’m ill!” which really isn’t a good look.

For example, on “Heavy Wrist” he said, “I think I’m gonna change my name to Mr. Get It First/I got the girls going crazy like a missing purse/I’m like a bathroom break, they wanna lift their skirt/I’ll make a video out of her like I did with nerp…they say I’m great like Tony The Tiger/I’m something you’ve never seen like Napoleon’s Liger.” This dude makes me want to crown Yung Berg the dopest rapper in the game. That’s real talk. It gets to the point where you’re thinking “Is this going anywhere?”

His hooks are weaker thank Rick Ross in a KFC/Pizza Hut joint too, man. I mean they couldn’t bait me in for nothing. Even T-Pain’s Auto-Tune hook couldn’t help his cause on “Digital.”

The only bright spot I could find on the mixtape was “Doobey In The Ash Tray 2009.” And you can credit that little success to his homie, Devin The Dude. He actually made that song entertaining and listenable with the melodic hook and suave beat.

When it was finally over, I was left thinking “Why?” like Jadakiss. Why would someone give this man any studio time? So he can say, “Show my penis cleavage?” That sounds wrong on more levels than one. Or so maybe he can say, “They call me Cujo, they say I’m dog nice.” What the hell does that mean?! Are niqqas animal nice now? If he’s dog nice where does that leave DMX? Is Trina chicken nice? I suppose Jay-Z is camel nice. This dude is killing ma, dunn! He chose the right name I’ll tell you that. Most of the time I kept saying, “Nickelus, F*ck you talk’ about?” Man, I’ma leave it at this. I can go on all night and day picking this mixtape apart, but it’ll just keep getting uglier like Lil' Kim after every surgery (She was so cute. Why’d she ruin it?). Have a great weekend y’all. I might make next week Charles Hamilton half a week. Dude dropped 3 mixtapes. Stay tuned…-The Infamous O

Hottest Joint: “Doobey In The Ash Tray 2009”

Weakest Joint: “Ballad For The Smokers”