"[The negotiations] they going good… Same old Boosie keeping the game catering to the ladies. I brought nine songs to the album from my in-house studio. So they gotta come up for that label deal. [The record companies] gotta give me the label deal. They offered me 1.5 million for 5 albums. But that ain't no money. I need a million dollars an album. Right now I'm in talks with Asylum, I'm already in a situation with them. We good. They fittin' to give me my own lane. I carry every label on my back. I always been a leader my whole life. Always been a leader on the streets and I carried it over to the music. It's gonna be Bad Azz Entertainment. I got a 16 year-old girl and she real nice."

-Lil’ Boosie, SOHH.com

As the late, great Pimp C would say, "Hol’ up!!"

Boosie caters to the ladies? Word? Sorry. I was thrown by that one. The nigga wants a million and thinks he's LL Cool J. Wowsers. The sherm must be extra strong down there. Fuck.

Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah...

First of all, what kind of nigga goes around talking about financial specifications of their record deals? I guess the same kind of nigga who walks around with stacks of cash in hand for attention.

Whether you’re lying about the numbers or not, talking about your contract is a no-no, Boosie. I can’t think of a label on the planet that would take kindly to their newest niglet discussing the particulars of his deal to various media outlets.

Second of all, where does Boosie get the idea he’s worth a million dollars per album? Is he talking about a $1M flat-rate per-album deal? Does he mean a million dollar advance per record? How the fuck does Boosie expect to recoup a million dollars?

Third, just because you have a home studio and can put nine records on a CD-R doesn’t mean you have a label, let alone a label worthy of a subsidiary deal. Although, I can’t blame a nigga for getting stoked at the exciting and lucrative prospects of scraping what’s left in the barrel from 50,000 units sold on Warner/Asylum/Trill/Bad Azz/Did I Leave Anybody Out? Okay. I Can Finally Eat.

Sounds more like Lil’ Boosie Dumb Azz to me.

On what planet is $300,000 for a record “not no money”, anyway? I guess whatever planet the niggas who spend that much on costume jewelry come from. I remember these dudes from the south--back in the good-old days, of course—that would go out there and get that for real for serious independent bread, know’m tombout? They set themselves up for actual millions. Major labels and distributors knocked on their doors because of the equity they built for themselves. I’m not sure if No Limit and Rap-A-Lot ring bells anymore, but these are the first two examples that come to mind. Of course, I speak of their “out the trunk” work before they partnered up with bigger labels and distributors.

There were many more like them who did much better for themselves keeping shit in-house back before it was the cool thing to do, too. They weren’t all in the south, neither.

And, no—Trill Entertainment doesn’t count as an independent. Neither does Asylum. When a fucking Santa Maria-sized slaveship such as Warner Music Group is carrying you across the Middle Passage, you’ve forgone the right to call yourself an indie.

While we’re on the subject, this includes you, Cam’ron. I’m sorry. Crime Pays is not an indie release. Regardless how often you like to tell people as much.

On an entirely unrelated note, I’m pretty sure I could find a million dollars worth of support from people who want Boosie to stop making terrible World Star videos.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Let a nigga hold a million right quick. I got a CD burner! ron@ronmexicocity.com