Searching For Eli Porter

Somebody needs to find Eli Porter! The dude's been an internet phenomenon for weeks and has yet to come out and claim his free personal pan pizza. I mean I would literally buy the man a personal pan pizza. Stuffed crust, even. He deserves every penny of that Tay Zonday Dr. Pepper yetti guap. If Curtis and his people can get the inbred yokel who alterated Suge Knight with an egg or a jar on the phone you would think a more resourceful journalist than myself could get in touch with a young star inna incubation chamber ala Eli. Yo, Porter holler at your boy! Your mans! Your main dodo stain! I probably can't promise you an interview with The Famous Rap Magazine XXL for reasons yet to be disclosed but we can certainly do it for a less sophisticated website. Maybe we could arrange for an ill collabo with that sass talking fat kid who crashed his grandmas whip?

What do you guys think of Eli Porter? Isn't he on the internet? Do you watch videos on youtube? Have you ever noticed how sometimes things look like other things? Who wants ice cream? Speak on it.

[Posse On Sardines and Spam T-Minus 5]