Born into this

As much as I like to joke, I couldn’t help but feel genuinely sad when I read that Kelis wouldn’t allow Nas to be present when their son was born yesterday. That’s some cold shit!

It’s not just a matter of whether or not he was allowed to be in the room when the baby was born. I don’t have any kids, so it’d be hard for me to say how important it is to actually witness a child being born. The video they show in science class in the 10th grade is traumatic enough. I’m sure it’s even worse when it’s your own wife’s vagine that’s being destroyed. Though in this case, Nas was already done with Kelis’ vagine, so that wasn’t as much of an issue. But for a few reasons, none of which have to do with the vagine per se, I’d still want to be in the general vicinity, maybe outside in the hallway.

First of all, I wouldn’t want to look like a douche, in case the baby’s mother has any visitors. The baby’s relatives might stop by to see it, and I wouldn’t want them to think I’m across town, balls deep in some hoo-er while my wife is giving birth to my child. That just wouldn’t reflect very well on me personally. And in this case, people might read on Twitter or TMZ or whatever that Nas was barred from being present and try to draw some sort of conclusion about Nas being abusive. This incident just so happened to take place at the same time when Chris Brown was apologizing for what he had to do to Rihanna, and you know how people start thinking with that “where there’s smoke there’s fire” logic. Word to Sam Jackson.

Who knows what effect this might have on the child itself? If the first thing the baby sees when it comes into the world is its mother, and she’s got a salty attitude, and the father is nowhere to be found, it could do irreparable damage. For all we know, that could be how people become gay. At the very least, it’s getting things off to a bad start. And when things don’t start off well, they’re probably not gonna get any better. Take for example this post. If Kelis couldn’t even put her ego aside the day the child was born, what’s the likelihood that her Nas are ever gonna get along well?

Not that Nas necessarily needs to get along with Kelis. The pussy is fucked up now anyway. And now the entire world knows she’s batshit. It was one thing when it was just rumors of her being a filthy hoo-er and having a sex tape out, but this is something else entirely. I see Combat Jack is calling for the two of them to patch things up, for the sake of the kid, but I’m not sure if I could look at the little homey the same way if he went back to that. Not with the options he must have. Still, that doesn’t mean the two of them can’t be civil, which, for starters would entail her allowing him to be there when the baby is born.

It’s bad enough Nas and Kelis’ son will have to grow up being shuttled between its two parents. Kelis will probably be bringing all kinds of men around it, and Nas might not be able to spend with it the amount of time necessary to make sure it grows up nice and masculine. Which is obviously important in an age when guys are walking around in skin tight jeans, and walking around the mall in big groups, color coordinating and shit. Never has it been more important for a black male child to have a strong male influence. But how is the kid ever gonna have a positive relationship with a woman, if it’s drawing from Nas and Kelis’ relationship as a template? See, this is how endless cycles begin.

It’s only a matter of time before the kid is old enough to learn about the circumstances in which it was brought into the world. It might even find this post and the several other posts I’ve written about Nas and Kelis’ relationship, if XXL is still around at that point. (I know.) Not only will the poor bastard realize what an awful hoo-er his mother is, but he’s gonna have that in mind when it’s time for him to find a woman of his own. The last thing he’s gonna want is for the same thing that happened to his father to happen to him.

And people wonder why so many brothers are out here exploring their options.

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  • Pierzy

    Between this and Destiny (NaS’s daughter) hearing “Super Ugly” about what was left on her baby seat, neither of them have a shot.

    By the way, good work making a reference to The Miracle Of Life: “The video they show in science class in the 10th grade is traumatic enough.” Awful. That woman at the end? Bleh.

  • Illegal1

    The kid will definitely have some issues, but what about us? the fans?. I say that after making us go through all this drama with them we deserve to at least get to see the Kelis sex tape. Their relationship is over, so what if some dude fucked her a few years back…the truth shall set you free!!


  • giantstepp

    Funny drop Bol. IF (i say if people)she didnt allow Nas to be there for the birth of his son that is a glimpse of the hell “the lil homie” has in store for him coming from this woman. If there was EVER a time to put aside differences, i would think the birth of a child is one of them. Again, IF (i say if people) this shit is true she’s playing MAJOR hardball (no fishsticks)! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (or some shit like that).

  • Tony Grand$

    The kid may have issues, but don’t we all? Just because they’re famous shouldn’t mean the kids are royalty.

    Broads are nuts & niggas love them. That’s the most vicious aspect of the life cycle.

    All he can do is be there for his kid, & who knows, even if they did stay together, it might still be a difficult situation. Generally, a crazy bitch has always been crazy, its just that fellation has a way of making cats ignore things.

    • Tony Grand$

      Btw, “The Miracle of Life” video ain’t got nothing on the real deal. Or its sequel, “C-Section: Saying Hi to the inside of her body”.


      If you don’t truly love a motherfucker & experience the childbirthing process with them, you’ll never look @ her, or it, the same ever again.

      Its beautiful, but disturbing as fuck.

      • Pierzy

        Damn kid! I guess saying, “I’ll stay up here by your head” won’t cut it, huh?

        • $ykotic

          Naw P. That ain’t gonna cut it.

          And pray for no postpartum.

          I feel bad for NaS.

        • Tony Grand$

          For a curious person, no. Judging from your vibes, you’re going to look.

          I looked. Hard. Walked past the line & stood by the doc & everything. I couldn’t help it. How many times in life do you get that opportunity. I just wasn’t prepared for what I saw.

          Hell, that’s a “I wish I had Twitter” moment, really though.

          Love sedates the Ugh factor. I think God put in a special override mechanism for that type thing.

        • Pierzy

          Yeah, you’re right. That is one of those life moments that you have to look…although you’re never ready for it.

        • $ykotic

          P wait for when the placenta drops in the pan.

          Too much Grand$?

        • Tony Grand$

          That & THE SMELL are neck & neck.


  • geico lizard

    “Kelis will probably be bringing all kinds of men around it”

    Id bet my life savings on this statement coming true. Knight Rider Jones will have to rap about his moms slore ways.

    • BIGNAT

      that would be crazy he be rapping how his mom waste child support money or gucci crap and abortions.

  • geico lizard

    “Kelis will probably be bringing all kinds of men around it”


    Id bet my life savings on this statement coming true. Knight Rider Jones will have to rap about his moms slore ways.

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    DAMNIT BOL! KELIS IS NO HOO_er…she’s a LOSER!!, get it right! anywayz if she got any smarts about her she better her get her 3 stacks babymama on and start wiener worshippin whateva rap nigga come her way or else for lack of better terms it’s a “wrap”.Yeah godson gon’ have to pay her like he pay his taxes but dat’ bitch betta start callin’ “tyrone” asap cuz’ she talkin like she always been a silverspoon poon and if I’m corect that “Nigger” tape wasn’t all that #’s wise smell me? Since Vhing loves the kids ( no cathloic priest) I’ve composed a list of Sugar dadd….err potential pocket partners for mrs.million dollar milkshake to shake down

    1.DIDDY;this niggas been takin’ care of Al B. Sure’s splooge on legs for how long now?

    2. Jo “yourgonnagetabeatin” Jackson, who else but the evil genius could groom a child who has one talented parent into a super mega star?

    3.Jay-Z…..DUHHH!! it’s the ultimate get back! i mean besides J knockindown his original bm,makin a song about it, becoming his boss and whateva deemening insult jay might do to a nigga.Plus Matthew knowles ain’t lettin his workhorse go out like dat!

    4.Jon (from Jon & Kate plus 8), not only does he a have a thing for worthless fugly broads he got them Tlc connects!! CHING!CHING!and he use to payin out the ass for crumb snatchers.

    5.Mr.rush card himeslf! Russell Simmons! ma if you suckyfuck this nigga right you might make off wit’ a company, more tax dependents and a reality show, shiiieeet he might have to go to the top of the list.

    best of luck to ya’ loser!

    • oskamadison

      Yo Vhing. First of all, you got the illest pen name. Second, me and my wife is in here in tears laughin’ at this shit. Third, add Eddie Murphy to the list. Dude is paid from all those wack-ass kiddie flicks and the more chicks he has to camouflage that long-running fudge-pack festival he got going on with Johnny Gill, the better.

  • El Tico Loco

    hey heeey Baby I got yo money! she was for real with that hook right?

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      *NELSON VOICE* HA…HA! u a fool.

  • Grimey G

    Nas’s kid will certainly be better off than Tony Grands kids. Their father is a loser douchebag faggot with an awful boring blog. His kids are probably as pathetic as him tho

    • Tony Grand$

      @Grimey G

      Thanks for taking the time out of what I’m sure is a busy schedule to check out my blog. I know how much time & energy goes into being grimey. Good luck with that.

      Let me guess. You couldn’t think of anything remotely amusing or mildly witty to say, so you decide to “attack” me. No Dice. Being mad that your father bounced on your mom before birth is no excuse for such a level of lame as you reached with a few vague sentences.

      These kind of topics always dig up the abandoned & misguided latchkey adults of society.

      All the “grimy” niggas I know ain’t worried about the next man’s situation. Odd that you’d pick such inadequete moniker.

      Listen, save you misplaced hostility for your girlfriend, champ. In fact, use this time to call YOUR father & ask him why he didn’t care if you ate or not.

    • Hanch

      LMFAO!!!! WTF kinda name is Grimey G LOL who the hell goes on XXL named Grimey and starts attacking somebody? Bro you got major fucking issues man. Grimey MUAHAHAHAHAHA thats the funniest name I have read in a long time.

      Grimey G LMEAO hahahahaha

      Get em Grand!!!!!!

      • Pierzy

        Grand$ ethered him. As expected.

        • Grimey g

          Aww man I did get ethered, how will I go on? A bunch of computer nerds who don’t know me said mean shit about me, my life is ruined. A wrote that shit just to see if I could get a rise out of some dudes I never met and have no reason to give a shit what I think and it worked. Clearly you retards take this shit far too seriously. The truth is, in real life, none of you pussys would talk shit.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      @ Grimey G

      Well, at least him having kids implies that he’s had pussy in real life…as in: the life you can’t stand living so you hop on the internets posed as some bitch named Grimey G, talking large in the only forum that allows failures like yourself to have an audience. Do you feel accomplished after touring the web trying to find what you perceive as the lowest denominator and calling him a loser douchebag faggot? You use your words like stilts to try and elevate yourself above someone else…well, I’m going to just let these next words fall out my ass and give you something to think about. We often criticize those that remind us of our own faults. Maybe you wish you had a blog. Maybe your broke ass couldn’t come up with the necessary funds to start a blog. Maybe you wish you had a life that was worth writing about. Maybe your bitch ass can’t get out of bed and get something accomplished. Maybe you live with your mom and dad. Maybe I or Tony Grand$ make more money than they do, combined. Maybe you’re bitter because your attempts at being polite to try and get pussy have failed. Maybe you’re one of these dudes that have never fucked before and front like you got something against all women and you don’t need them. Maybe all women are crazy and they might all hate you. Maybe, it’s your own damn fault. Maybe you act like you are too much of a man, or a kid, to have kids yourself. Maybe you just couldn’t afford them. Maybe you finished shitting and realized there was no paper. Maybe you said fuck it and went on your way like that. Maybe you rubbed one out in fantasizing in your mind about a real life chick that don’t give a fuck about you or the internet. Maybe you waited 15 minutes and did it again.

      Maybe this…maybe that, but in fact, you MAY BE the biggest fuckboy logged on to this site.

      The truth is, when Grand$ goes home to his kids and sees them, he’ll forget about what you said–we all will. But you won’t. The saddest part is that you’ll still be hoping that it hurt his feelings or made him angry long after he’s forgotten about you.
      Wasted energy = wasted life.

      …and I only wasted about 5 minutes on you. You owe me for that, loser douchebag faggot.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

      • Tony Grand$

        “…..mushroom cloud-laying motherfucker!!”

        Word to Sam Jackson.

        • oskamadison

          What up, Grand$

          Insulting a man’s children…real grimey, right? I can imagine this Special Olympics bronze medalist (who should have never made it past the napkin) sitting at home watching the Lifetime network reliving painful childhood memories while typing that snailshit. Do your thing. 100.

    • EmCDL

      What the hell kind of name is Grimey G? What, you suppose to be the hype man for The Grouch on Sesame Street? GTFOH!

      Anyway, I hope thats not the case between Nas and Kelis…if she didn’t really let him see the child at birth, then thats just messed up. The father and mother should be present on those sort of things…I could understand if he was in jail or something like that but this is just foul…I hope thats not the case though…


      @grimey g

      you sound like you got a crush on this nigga and mad cause he ain’t gay. i know them tight pants feel like somebody pinchin your ass all day, but you gonna have to go bust a nut somewhere else. it’s all men up in this bitch. now once in a while somebody will pop up on here and say some bitch shit. but that ain’t the same as this faggot love letter u wrote.

      so commit a crime. a real one. and get the attention you crave from more men than you can handle.

    • Silly Willy

      @ Grimey

      “Get over it, groupie……”

  • Combat Jack

    ^ “in an age when guys are walking around in skin tight jeans, and walking around the mall in big groups, color coordinating and shit. Never has it been more important for a black male child to have a strong male influence.”

    Word to Herb. Funny drop as usual.

  • Rx

    Hey man Nas know the deal man, all these broads are pretty much hoes so it’s whatever at the end of the day the kid gonna learn faster than most kids that these bitches ain’t shit. But that shouldn’t stop you from at least acknowledging your ho ass mom exists. My moms is a ho, Bol moms is a ho, all bitches are hos on the real no one can prove that otherwise. Just what type of ho she is makes the difference, high class ho or low class. A bitch has to fuck for money, it’s in their blood. As long as you know when she totally used up and bail before you catch shrapnel, everything is all good.

  • sealsaa

    That’s cold. I hope the media puts her on blast for that. But you know how these societal double standards are when it comes to black men and women. A single mother is “brave” and “courageous”, while the poor ninja that’s trying to take care of his kids and be in their lives as much as possible is labled a dead beat because he won’t put up with a bunch of neck rolling and ego tripping.

  • brand-new

    ok, grand$ and og matt herbz are the ether kings on this site!! stand the fuck back people!!!

    • $ykotic

      Commission hatred is on Level 3. And I know my man BLOCK is rolling with the team.

      b-new join the little Indians that are fighting for their land.

  • anutha_level

    this is very unfortunate. no man deserves a low blow like this, this bitch is sick in the head, honestly. karma is a bitch tho, and she’ll get it back later…trust.

  • brand-new

    @ fake $yk, the indians as you refer, or the comission for us un-retarded folks, i’m down with those who can leave funny, intelligent , or anything with substance. sorry i can’t be down with you my nigga. maybe if you grew up and stop pretending to be other people it might work out. it’s very obvious you were ignored in your childhood. your mother probaly was more interested in her coke habbit and you probaly don’t have a clue what your father looks like. in school you were probaly that weird kid that never talked and the teacher would always call home because of your lack of showering and hygiene. it’s a shame man! although, you’re probaly starting to feel a lil better with some of the attention you’ve been getting lately. good for you sport, enjoy your 15. we all know sooner or later your mom’s coke habbit will outweigh the internet bill.

    • Sleepy Wonder

      Laaame, Get Off The Stage Brand-New.

      (Throws A Tomato At You) Boooo!

    • $ykotic

      Damn. Did I miss something?

      Chameleon never duplicated me to my knowledge.

      It’s always $yk.

      I even asked that man to please not undermine the knowledge. I respect that Chameleon Commenter. That means you’re f*cking around for a reason…

      brand-new what it do??!!

  • chillin mayne

    das funny to me…cuz she actin like it aint also his kid…i woulda been infuriated like “this my offspring also”…

  • Silly Willy

    Damn, Grimey got Deck’d by the Commission……

    “Man up, nigga! Man up!”, word to Alonzo Harris

    Am I the only one who sees that the real purpose of this blog is to explain the “How you become gay” Theory by Dr Bol?

    “Nas might not be able to spend with it the amount of time necessary to make sure it grows up nice and masculine”

    Nice and masculine, Bol? and that ain’t fishsticks-free?

    Funny shit as usual !!! Keep up the good work!

  • Monty B.

    “It might even find this post and the several other posts I’ve written about Nas and Kelis’ relationship”

    It? Don’t you mean “he”?

    Bol, you are a dumb motherfucker. Seriously.


    thats some evil shit. i wouldnt be surprised if she was planning this all along. SMH. i hope he gets custody of lil Knight. cuz i know Kelis is gonna talk MAD shit to lil man about his pops. shit thats probably false, & it’ll make Nas out to be the bad guy… evil, just evil.

  • Brooklyn

    she probably didn’t want him at the hospital because she knew that the baby wasn’t his and she was scared that it would come out looking like that myspace nigga she allegedly fucked. nas better call the maury povich show and get him a dna test. i’d kill to see maury tell him he ain’t the father and kelis run back stage and fall out on the floor crying.

  • ryne rich

    nas just gotta keep doing the right thing.
    fuck nasty women, they can use all 4 parts of their brain which means they plot more and are more evil. thank you for the good women of the world, white black asain dont matter

  • Jamal7Mile

    BREAKING NEWS: Nas just lost! He may have been too drunk to be in the delivery room (rumor). Plus, he has just been ordered to pay $44k/month in order to maintain Kelis’ lifestyle.

    So much for the gift card ideal. I thought that shit was brilliant!

    “Baby, I gotcha money!”