Nas and Kelis: What went wrong?

Kelis is obviously pissed at Nas, and trying to take him for as much money as possible. I hope she doesn’t get anything – not because she’s definitely in the wrong, but because I don’t think she needs it.

Let me guess: Nas got her knocked up, then decided he needed to go have sex with someone else. Kelis found out about it and decided to kick him to the curb. If it wasn’t for the damn baby, they’d probably still be together.

(Another possible scenario: Kelis read the post I did for this site about how Nas once received a special birthday present from Ashley Dupre, the hoo-er who brought down Eliot Spitzer, and decided to drop him like a bad habit. It wouldn’t be unprecedented. Word on the street is that Mos Def left Alana Wyatt after four days or so of marriage because he read on the Internets that she’d been passed around by a number of athletes and musicians.)

It could be that Nas is one of these guys who’s turned off by the idea of sex with a pregnant woman. Like homeboy in Knocked Up. He might not have been able to pop a rod. He’s not as young as he used to be. No fishsticks. I’m gonna have to tread lightly here, lest I end up the next Dolla, except more famous, but let’s just say I’ve known guys who’ve gotten girls pregnant… and it only made me want to fuck their wives even more. I’ve heard, albeit from women, that sex with a pregnant woman is even better than sex with a regular woman. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know.

I’m not saying Nas should be excused for cheating. Anyone dumb enough to get married, especially when you can afford to cop your crib (and even I’ve got my own crib now) should have to abide by the rules of marriage. But Kelis should have known Nas would eventually step out on her. It’s in his blood. He’s got a song about how his old man used to step out on his mom.

There was an interview with Nas’ old man the other day in New York magazine’s blog Vulture, and they asked him about the song “Poppa Was a Player.” He didn’t seem all that familiar with it, or any of Nas’ music, for that matter, but he said a kid once mentioned it to him. He said he was walking down the street, and a kid was listening to it, and the kid said it was a song about how Nas’ old man Olu was a huge manslut, and Nas’ old man was like, “Dude, I’m Olu!” and the kid was like, “Um, yeah.”

Note that I’m paraphrasing.

Maybe Nas didn’t want to have a kid with Kelis, and so he left her once she got pregnant, so it’d be clear he didn’t want anything to do the baby. Nas already has a kid. Remember, Jay-Z left a used rubber on its baby seat back in the late ’90s. And the fact that Nas and Kelis were together for something like six years before she got pregnant would lead me to believe that another kid wasn’t in his plans. Kelis may have even told him she was on the pill. I can’t imagine he was wearing a rubber that entire time.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kelis purposely went off the pill in order to get pregnant. She probably realized she wasn’t getting any younger and figured she was gonna have a baby, regardless of what Nas says. If I was Nas, I’d have my lawyer look into that, though I’m not sure how you’d go about proving it. But it might help bolster his case that, if she wanted to have a baby so bad, and it’s not like she doesn’t have any money of her own, she should have to pay for it.

Unfortunately, Nas isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, and it looks like Kelis might be playing hardball. I should have known she was gonna try to stick Nas when I saw that she sued him for divorce in California, even though they’re both from New York. Desperate ass Vibe posted the documents a couple of weeks ago. Nas might need to holler at the same lawyer that got K-Fed a check from Britney. Something tells me it wouldn’t be too hard to convince a judge Kelis isn’t quite right in the head.

  • mikeyA

    Pierzy!!!

  • ri067953

    Yo, too bad Tom Lykis isn’t on the air anymore. He would have a field day covering this story. D.T.B for life!

    • Lowedwn

      I wasn’t a big Lykis fan, but yeahI gotta agree, he woulda nail this one on the head.

    • Detroit Draper

      LMAO I thought I was the only one who knew about Tom Lykis…it always seemed to have a little racial vibe to it but dude was funny and entertaining as hell.

  • ChiTown

    Whats good Pierzy!

    But overall this is just a crazy situation all around. Its just cheaper to keep her nowadays.

    • Pierzy

      What up Chi…took a long lunch today so I guess I’m slippin.

      NaS needs to be sat down and told how to pick beats and women. Word to Grand$ who said basically the same thing yesterday.

      • Bobo D

        “NaS needs to be sat down and told how to pick beats and women.”

        <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
        Am I the only on who’s noticed this muslim dating site?

        • http://xxlmag.com Bol

          It looks more like a marriage site than a dating site.

          You probably send them $1,000, and an Arab broad shows up to your front door in a shipping container.

        • Bobo D

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDrITaBPdt8

          ^^^^
          From one of the greatest shows ever, it’s not a Arab broad but I did see some Asian adds here not so long ago.

        • Pierzy

          Make sure you get the tracking number!!

        • Bobo D

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDrITaBPdt8

          ^^^^
          From one of the greatest shows ever, it’s not a Arab broad but I did see some Asian adds here not so long ago.

        • geico lizard

          Alec Baldwin just got in trouble for joking about mail order brides. Threatening to return your wife if she doesnt shut up only works on mail order brides because american women dont like to submit for shit these days,no fishsticks.

  • Bobo D

    “…sex with a pregnant woman is even better than sex with a regular woman. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know.”
    ^^^^
    You know this sentence might be read the wrong way, as that you may have not had sex with a woman yet. Unless that’s what you’re saying.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    C’mon Bol. They haven’t even laid Dolla to rest yet. Low blows, my dude…

    NaS must choose his women based off of primal instinct. Like, he sniffs around their asses, & if they’re not sick or diseased then that’s good enough for him. I figured such a prolific cat would have better taste in broads, but look @ the tracks he picks.

    Whatever the case, he’s going to lose whatever battle he’s trying to fight. California court is no joke on traffic tickets, much less a woman claiming whatever womanly shit she’s going to go in there spewing.

    She looks like the type to over dramatize & (wo)manipulate. She tricked me into thinking she had a nice body.

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    @ TONY GRAND….. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY NIGGA THAT THOUGHT HE WOULD SHINE MORE IF HE PICKED BETTA BEATS!!!!

    FUCK…. WHO GIVES A ELEPHANT’S SHIT… MUFUCKAS GET DIVORCED ALL THE TIME… I HATE WHEN THE MEDIA TAKE SOME SIMPLE-EVERYDAY SHIT AND TRY TO MAKE IT THIS BIG DEAL LIKE MILLIONS OF MUFUCKAS AINT BEEN THRU IT….. AND KELIS WAS SUCKIN SOME MEAN COCKAZOID ON TAPE… NAS SHOULD USE THAT…. INTERNET IS AWESOME!!!

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “ONE MIC” WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP))

  • avon

    that dolla referance not cool

  • ChiTown

    Yea Bol u gotta chill on the dolla low blows my dude

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    @ TONY GRAND AND PIERZY….. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY NIGGA THAT THOUGHT HE WOULD SHINE MORE IF HE PICKED BETTA BEATS!!!!

    FUCK…. WHO GIVES A ELEPHANT’S SHIT… MUFUCKAS GET DIVORCED ALL THE TIME… I HATE WHEN THE MEDIA TAKE SOME SIMPLE-EVERYDAY SHIT AND TRY TO MAKE IT THIS BIG DEAL LIKE MILLIONS OF MUFUCKAS AINT BEEN THRU IT….. AND KELIS WAS SUCKIN SOME MEAN COCKAZOID ON TAPE… NAS SHOULD USE THAT…. INTERNET IS AWESOME!!!

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “ONE MIC” WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP))

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    AND YES PREGNANT PUSSY IS AWESOME!!!!!!!

    • El Tico Loco

      Sing it! Pregnant Pussy that’s the shit while hit them guts …..
      ya’ll know the rest

    • Jamal7Mile

      I keep getting nervous that I’ll crush her or something. Other than that, it’s tha bomb!!

      • El Tico Loco

        Dude! that’s extra lube going on there. Plus the baby will get dimples. Just kiddin on the dimples.

        • BIGNAT

          BREAST MILK YOU MAKE MY DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

        • BGZ

          Dunno, but pregger puss > after kid puss, 4 sho’.

  • General

    I knew this was not gonna end good for Nas when he first hooked up this broad. Who the hell wifes somebody that singing about her “milkshake bringin all the boys to the yard” SMH…

    You guys are right about the beats too. I think Nas intentionally picks horrible beats that way nobody ever gets the producer more credit than him if they like the track

    • General

      WTF…should have said “gives the producer more credit” instead “gets”. I need to take a lil easier on the hydro

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Yeah General, it’s like I said earlier…….

        He sniffs around some cat’s MPC, shrugs his shoulders then jumps in the booth.

        • General

          Thats some funny shit…I remember when I heard the Dre track on Hip Hop Is Dead. I was thinkin, WTF, did Nas ask Dre for the worst track he had on file, plus the mixing didn’t even sound up to Dre’s quality. I really do think he intentionally does that shit so the beat doesn’t outshine his rhymes…
          That way when you listen to one of his tracks, your think this beat is horrible, but you listen closer to the rhymes hopin for something to save it

        • DownSouth

          What about Hero? I think Polo did it on that beat, and Nas was flowing to it. And I thought Testify and NIGGER was some nice tracks too on Untitled

          DOWN SOUTH!!!

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    NICE OBSERVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “HUSTLERS” WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP)) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I JUST HAD TO DO IT…

    “BUT WE STILL GET TOGETHER LIKE/EVERY SEVERAL YEARS/ TO SPRINKLE/A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN FO’ YO EARS!!!!

  • Worley

    I gotta believe these cats with paper wife broads because they don’t really have the time to chase p*ssy like that. A n*gga could mess around and go 2 to 3 weeks without p*ssy when he’s really on his grind if he doesn’t have a wifey. Why else would Kenyon Martin make an ass of himself for Cash Money leftovers, I mean Trina?

    Either way, I say walk the streets for an hour or go to the local club and find a groupie in whatever town you’re in. Strap it up and keep it movin’. It’s waaaaay cheaper in the long run.

  • Phil

    I think Kelis is going to be in for the shock of her life when that judge bangs that gavel in NAS’ favor. Watch.

  • og bobby j

    who cares about Nas and his piss poor decision making when it comes to women and beats. He feel the fuck off….hard.

    I lost a lot of respect for him when he sgned with def jam….the nigga you ethered is signing your checks…..thats bitchmade fam.

    Dolla….what a name. Old folks probably thought there was money in the parking garage….dolla on the floor….

    • that nigga

      Dolla….what a name. Old folks probably thought there was money in the parking garage….dolla on the floor….
      :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

      WOW!!!!

  • Giantstepp

    Nas was over 30 when he wifed shawty up. Nothing wrong with that at all. Slim been in the game for ages at that point, im sure he knocked off his share of broads etc. That shit gets old after a while. You start to mature and want the family thing or a real woman in your life. I can relate to that personally. It took me to the age of 33/34 (38 now) to realize that I didnt have enough time, money or energy for a bunch of women. Lord knows I tried to get’em all. You cant keep running around like a youngsta when you 30 plus. Find a good one, settle down…thing is, it just doesnt work out all the time. Gotta keep it moving then.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      “I didnt have enough time, money or energy for a bunch of women”

      Cosign that, Gstepp. I have a wife, a daughter, a mother AND a babymomma. That’s more than enough estrogen for one man to deal with.

      Anything extra & I get exactly what I deserve. It’s easier, much easier, to chill & enjoy life, that’s assuming you find that one person. It ain’t easy, but I ain’t that hard either, if your willing to look instead of look over.

    • El Tico Loco

      Co Sign gstep

      That’s some real shit you just said, but all the wifey types lately are just that, wifeys. Shit does get old baggin broads and all but not one of the seems worthy. My ex wiz gets a pass for both of us starting mad young and 3 kids later, but with what I know now the story would be a whole lot more different.

  • HNIC

    “He said he was walking down the street, and a kid was listening to it, and the kid said it was a song about how Nas’ old man Olu was a huge manslut, and Nas’ old man was like, “Dude, I’m Olu!” and the kid was like, “Um, yeah.”

    Note that I’m paraphrasing.”

    This was hilarious to me! NICE!!!

  • ?

    That Dolla joke is in bad taste, dick.

  • Prince Caesar

    Bol, you are a fat,sleazy piece of shit. I’ll be glad when someone catches your fat ass coming outta Popeye’s Chicken and fucks u up. You always make these terrible jokes about sensitive topics and you constantly hate on everyone. I don’t think it’s cool to make jokes about a dead man. Bol quit typing all that reckless non-sense just because you’re at home in a undisclosed location.

    • State

      ^^^^^^^
      This Nigga Us Extra Heated!!!!

      For Real Tho, I Used To Fuck Wit Dolla Shit So Please Refrain From Any Shots At The Boy, Bol…R.I.P. Dolla, Stay Spittin Up There…Aite Article Tho, Keep Doin You.

      [~1~]

    • Miz

      This my first time at the site, I’m a little confuse…who is Dolla and what happen to him?

  • stoneyisland

    Let me toss in my 2 cents. Pussy of any variety, be it prego, not prego, shaved, hairy, juicy, dry are all a beautiful thing:) As for dumb ass Nas, any dude with common sense knows you dont fuck over a pregnant woman! they already hormonely fucked up anyway and you got out and cheat on her??? dumb immature move homey. As for Kelis she always has come across as a gold digger in training. I think she just wanted to be a power couple like Will & Jada or Carmelo and LaLa. Gotta give Kells her props though she was smart enough to file in Cali where she is entitled to half of everything………………..

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Kats are still mad sensitive on this site. Even though what Bol said may have been in bad taste to most of you, that shit had me rolling!! “I’m gonna have to tread lightly here, lest I end up the next Dolla, except more famous”

  • double j

    NaS needs to be sat down and told how to pick beats and women.
    Hilarious!

  • fasfs

    always knew it would happen… car – men 2…

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