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Nas and Kelis: What went wrong?

Kelis is obviously pissed at Nas, and trying to take him for as much money as possible. I hope she doesn’t get anything – not because she’s definitely in the wrong, but because I don’t think she needs it.

Let me guess: Nas got her knocked up, then decided he needed to go have sex with someone else. Kelis found out about it and decided to kick him to the curb. If it wasn’t for the damn baby, they’d probably still be together.

(Another possible scenario: Kelis read the post I did for this site about how Nas once received a special birthday present from Ashley Dupre, the hoo-er who brought down Eliot Spitzer, and decided to drop him like a bad habit. It wouldn’t be unprecedented. Word on the street is that Mos Def left Alana Wyatt after four days or so of marriage because he read on the Internets that she’d been passed around by a number of athletes and musicians.)

It could be that Nas is one of these guys who’s turned off by the idea of sex with a pregnant woman. Like homeboy in Knocked Up. He might not have been able to pop a rod. He’s not as young as he used to be. No fishsticks. I’m gonna have to tread lightly here, lest I end up the next Dolla, except more famous, but let’s just say I’ve known guys who’ve gotten girls pregnant… and it only made me want to fuck their wives even more. I’ve heard, albeit from women, that sex with a pregnant woman is even better than sex with a regular woman. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t know.

I’m not saying Nas should be excused for cheating. Anyone dumb enough to get married, especially when you can afford to cop your crib (and even I’ve got my own crib now) should have to abide by the rules of marriage. But Kelis should have known Nas would eventually step out on her. It’s in his blood. He’s got a song about how his old man used to step out on his mom.

There was an interview with Nas’ old man the other day in New York magazine’s blog Vulture, and they asked him about the song “Poppa Was a Player.” He didn’t seem all that familiar with it, or any of Nas’ music, for that matter, but he said a kid once mentioned it to him. He said he was walking down the street, and a kid was listening to it, and the kid said it was a song about how Nas’ old man Olu was a huge manslut, and Nas’ old man was like, “Dude, I’m Olu!” and the kid was like, “Um, yeah.”

Note that I’m paraphrasing.

Maybe Nas didn’t want to have a kid with Kelis, and so he left her once she got pregnant, so it’d be clear he didn’t want anything to do the baby. Nas already has a kid. Remember, Jay-Z left a used rubber on its baby seat back in the late ’90s. And the fact that Nas and Kelis were together for something like six years before she got pregnant would lead me to believe that another kid wasn’t in his plans. Kelis may have even told him she was on the pill. I can’t imagine he was wearing a rubber that entire time.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Kelis purposely went off the pill in order to get pregnant. She probably realized she wasn’t getting any younger and figured she was gonna have a baby, regardless of what Nas says. If I was Nas, I’d have my lawyer look into that, though I’m not sure how you’d go about proving it. But it might help bolster his case that, if she wanted to have a baby so bad, and it’s not like she doesn’t have any money of her own, she should have to pay for it.

Unfortunately, Nas isn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, and it looks like Kelis might be playing hardball. I should have known she was gonna try to stick Nas when I saw that she sued him for divorce in California, even though they’re both from New York. Desperate ass Vibe posted the documents a couple of weeks ago. Nas might need to holler at the same lawyer that got K-Fed a check from Britney. Something tells me it wouldn’t be too hard to convince a judge Kelis isn’t quite right in the head.

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