2009 DDN Tournament – Round 1, South Region Voting

Welcome back to the first round of the 2009 DDN Tournament. Today we unveil the region you’ve all been waiting for. Packed with power-conference players and programs, the South is expected to set the pace, tone and standard for the rest of this year’s competitors. I can’t wait to cast my ballot. I’m sure you can’t either so, here are your matchups.

#1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em vs. #16 Terrell Owens

Both hail from the deep south. Both have embarrassed themselves and their regions to the best of ability at every turn. Both have made a grip of change doing so. While Soulja Boy loves his massa, T.O. knows no master but himself… and the CVS pharmacist. I expect a landslide, but who knows? Maybe signing with the fucking Buffalo Bills is enough to trump a reigning Minstrel of the Year. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#8 T-Pain vs. #9 AIG

Both use synthetic shit to mask very real problems. Even the Universoul Circus ringmaster himself is feeling the pinch from the investment giant’s mishandlings. The trickle down seems to only hold true in times of distress as Akon’s debt has Teddy Pizzle’s family crying foul like the rest of us. I, for one, can’t belieeeeeeve it. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#4 George W. Bush vs. #13 Gunplay of Carol City Cartel

While Obama and his unfortunately excessive melanin reserve are taking all the heat, the collapse of the free world began on Gee Dubb’s watch. We have Florida to thank both for his “election” and the self-etherization machine known as WSHH Conference Second-Teamer, Gunplay. As if riding around in Officer Ricky’s padded wagon isn’t a bad enough look, Sideshow Bob here is challenging the world to give the internets an encore of his Knockout Kings-worthy performance from yesteryear. Some bored WSHH Commenter just might take him up on the offer. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#5 Usher vs. #12 Jermaine Dupri

In a classic student vs. teacher matchup, Usher and JD show the world how to get led around by the privates. Both ATL representatives sport significant others who can significantly whoop their asses. One had it bad. The other had a TAG. Whatever happened with that label anyway? Maybe it’s finally under some frat boy’s armpit where it belongs. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#3 Webbie vs. #14 Bobby Jindal

I-N-C-A-R-C-E-R-A-T-E… do you know what that mean? Regardless how the tournament plays out, the Louisiana DDN title is on the line RIGHT CHEA, LIL’ DADDY! Do we give it to 2008 OJ Slow Chase of the Year Award Winner, Webster? Do you vote for the curry coon locked in a rap battle with Michael Steele for JC Watts’ seat at Massa’s dining table? It’s a tough call. Interestingly enough, Jindal could take Webster in a rap battle while Webbie could better hold crowd interest in the arena of formal debate. Think about it. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#6 Parlae of Dem Franchize Boyz vs. #11 DJ Khaled

Despite not having a hit record in years, Parlae has bread long enough to set a six-figure stack ablaze behind an apartment complex in the middle of a recession. Coincidentally, I’d burn everything I own if it meant I’d never have to hear DJ Khaled’s voice again. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#7 OJ Da Juiceman vs. #10 Young Buck

I really don’t know who’s dumber. Juiceman’s got the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard. Young Buck fucked himself into a corner and got Linda Tripped up. I’m confroosed, people. Still, I’m thinking #10 upset, Creighton style. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#2 Gucci Mane vs. #15 Mya

Ewwwwwwwww. We all know why Gucci’s here. Between being OJ Da Juiceman’s lyrical mentor, going directly to jail after every release and the Balrog jump punch on that one chick, Gucci’s done everything he could to secure and validate his lofty seeding in the toughest region. Mya, winner of the FFT Conference Tournament (Fuckin’ For Tracks) sneaks into the dance, ironically into the arms of her current boo. I want you to let this one marinate. Who’s dumber, Gucci or the girl who thinks she can get back into the game by fucking him? [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

Questions? Comments? Requests? This region not icey enough? ron@ronmexicocity.com

Don’t forget to holler at me tonight, 11PM EST on BlogTalkRadio. We’ll talk DDNs and whatever the fuck else your icey cold heart may desire.

  • DETROIT

    “Juiceman’s got the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard.”

    LMFAO

    come on man! oj is da shit…..what’s the name of his song again?

    for real tho, juice and gucci are like rap jesters….them niggas can’t rap, but they’re funny as shit. i luv them dudes!

    did you see where soulja boy said that he had to step his rap game up cuz he was recording with his idol gucci mane! he really said that…i couldn’t make something like that up!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i remember soulja boy saying that, and i remember laughing until i farted!

      • mo

        gucci’s going to the finals I’m calling it right now.

        • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

          i’ll remember that.

          i don’t think he gets past SB, but maybe i get surprised.

    • DV8

      WOW!!!!!

      Soulja Boy never ceases to amaze me.

      Now I dig Gucci, I know he isnt a lyrical all-pro. Sometimes I just want to hear some silly/ unperceivable shit over some beats to ride to.

  • DETROIT

    “who the fuck is bart simpson, nigga that’s me”

    LOL!

    DAMMIT MEXICO, NOW I HAVE TO TAKE MY 10 MIN BREAK AT WORK TO CALL A NIGGA AND TELL HIM THAT SHIT!

  • chitchat

    I still don’t believe Mya is with Gucci, but damn if he don’t look like Bart Simpson.

    Come to think of it, Jungle of the Bravehearts also looks like black Bart Simpson.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    y’all are aware that pyiush “bobby” jindal is governor of the katrina state, yet adamantly refuses any government $ to help rebuild, right?

    • $ykotic

      I don’t think they do. He’s losing…

      #9 is gangster. Planted a ho on Ex Gov Spitzer, still getting bread, product is fronted…

      They need to drop a “How to Rob” mixtape.

      • Pierzy

        I still can’t believe GWB is a 4 seed. What’s a retard gotta do to get a 1? He ruined the world!

    • Chris

      I saw that on the Daily Show a couple of weeks ago and I thought to myself… He should be the 1st in line for that money! If everybody knew who he was, he would be crowned DDN Champ right now!!! The whole tournament would be over!!!

      • Cam Jones

        Man Bobby Jindal is one of those underrated beasts in this tournament like Gonzaga back in the day or Arizona when they would sneak in and knock out favorites on the way to the Final Four or the Pistons who beat a Laker team with 4 Hall of Famers. People this man is the uncrowned DDN champion win or lose.

  • El Tico Loco

    Mya and Gucci Mane for real? eeeyoooowuh! That means anyone can e mail her some raggedy FLstudio beats and hit.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i think we all had a chance

  • http://XXL GSIDE

    Dam mex you cold how you going to put that lightweight gun play against W ? Matter a fact the tournament is over can’t no one on this list beat W that cat IS HEAVY you need to kick him out to keep ever thing on the up and a up . I want gun play to stay around so you can talk about his dum ass cause this nigga challenge the whole world to a fight .

  • chillin mayne

    i used to think mya was mad fine…like dayum, she was a dimepiece…i aint seen her latley tho…anyway khaled was always a little dimwitted to me, since that time i was workin at foot locker, and i was forced to see his video various times..
    it was one with rick ross, at the beginning they get pulled over by 5-0, and the copper is like “im gonna need ur drivers liscense?” and khaled replies(from the passenger seat mind u) “man, we the bessssst”….i was like “the fucc does that have to do with anything?…then rick ross hands him his watch and ever since then ive never taken any florida rapper seriously
    to get to the point khaled is irksome and is quite clearly a grade A slumgullion..

  • http://colby-sempek.com Ghost

    Balrog jump punch? Ron Mexico FTW…fucking hilarious…

  • Cam Jones

    BTW damn Mex it is kinda unfair to TO against Souilja Boy, I mean this man made a career out doing DDN shit every season at some point or another, but of course he is going to get knocked out by the UCONN (beating the first two rounds by around a combined 60 points) of this DDN tournament. Damn Diaper Dumbass baby (in the Dicky V voice)

  • Smel

    LMAO @Parlae’s photo caption on the voting site!!!!!!!

    “F*CK DIS MONEY NIGGA!”

  • DV8

    is it possible for T.O. and Soulja Boy to tie? That is a push for me.

    Bush wasnt that dumb. He hustled America for that oil money 8 straight years. He was just playing his role. We have been set up. NWO on the way. Why do you think the government is buying these banks? New currency coming. There is gonna be some CHANGE for real!!!

  • DV8

    and another thing…if niggaz is calling next On Suge’s Jaw nowadays why does Gunplay think nobody will drop him again. Giving the world a open invitation to drop you is gotta be one of the dumbest things ever. If the saying “you are the company you keep” holds true then Officer Ricky is even dumber then we already thought.