“Even before the record deal, I used to say, ‘I just want a big house and a car and, I’ll be fine,’” Malice said to the Christian TV network CBN. “And, I really thought that’s really what I wanted, but then, once I became successful in the entertainment industry, I found that I always wanted more and more. After a while I started to notice that I was in a state of depression. I would feel low.”
Despite being a believer, the Virginia rapper, who first burst onto the rap scene in 2002 with the album Lord Willin’ alongside his younger brother Pusha T, revealed that he was not paying attention to God throughout his career and knew was doing things he felt he should have kept away from, such as drinking and marijuana. That sparked confusion.
“I can remember one day I was like, ‘I want to be happy. I want to be like everybody else,” Malice further explained. “I want to be laughing and joking and feel fine without worrying about this being wrong or that being wrong.’ I just wanted to live, and I had made up my mind at that point in time that I’m just going to live and be like everybody else. And, it was that moment and with God’s accuracy told me, ‘Oh no, you’re not.’”
Still, Malice, born Gene Thornton, Jr., continues working on music, even though it will not be the same as before.
“I’m definitely still doing music…it’s a different kind of music of course, needless to say,” he said. “It’s still going to be good. It’s still going to be motivational. It’s still going to be very inspiring, and I just can’t wait to share it.”–Christopher Minaya