Blue Cheese & Coney Island
Despite D12’s double-platinum 2001 disc, Devil’s Night, the members of the Detroit-based crew have had trouble achieving the same solo success as front man Eminem. This has certainly been a point of contention for Bizarre, whose 2005 debut, Hanni Cap Circus, barely sold 63,000 units. Still, the portly Midwesterner is confident he has a shot at (rock) stardom. With his second solo offering, Blue Cheese & Coney Island, Bizarre once again delivers madcap mayhem, as he tries to solidify his presence.
Backed by a slurred flow and meathead lyrics, Bizarre’s dreams of gaining headliner status seem thwarted from jump. In fact, on superficial songs like the queasy, Alphabit-produced “Animal” and the brazen crunk replica “Knock ’Em Out,” he’s virtually indistinguishable from his creepy cohorts. The same goes for the dismal “Rock Out,” where he awkwardly spits, “I’m like T-Pain, I’ll buy you a drink/Take you to the bathroom and nut on your mink.”
Those mawkish moments aside, he does manage to pull together a few heartfelt cuts. Featuring breezy percussion and a soulful piano, the luminous “Livin’ This Life” finds a thoughtful Bizarre observing how the murder of D12 member Proof still haunts the crew: “Denaun, Swift and Kuniva, I’m talkin’ to y’all/’Til the day I’m gone, y’all gonna be my dawgs/Since Proof left, it’s been a long ride/I can see it in Dolo’s eyes/He still wanna cry.” There’s even the stirring “Money Don’t Make Me,” where Biz details his everyday struggles, before proclaiming, “Leave two million for my firstborn/Fuck making it rain, I’m tryna make it thunderstorm.”
These pockets of substance are unfortunately just flashes in the pan, as grotesque bars and zany, frat-boy humor dominate the album—the best (or worst) example being the disturbing “Sex Tape,” where Biz flips his warped version of Biggie’s “Just Playing (Dreams)” (“Rudy from The Cosby Show, she lookin’ kinda fuckable/Hit her from the back, and she called me Dr. Huxtable”). All in all, Bizarre’s Blue Cheese & Coney Island is an acquired taste that most will find hard to swallow. —WILL DUKES