The Crazies

Posse On Trendwatch alert: 2011 will mark the rise of the mentally imbalanced rapster.

I don’t play as many video games as I used to, but whenever I’m relatively deep into a good game of Madden (this current version still sucks balls, though) with the score close and the clock winding down, I tend to lose my shit every now and then, screaming at the virtual wide receiver for dropping a seemingly wide open and celebrating like I was the one who kicked the game-winning field goal.

David Akers, I am not.

My NFL aspirations start and stop at my PlayStation 3 controller, however, and I don’t ever see myself trying out for a spot on the Eagles as if I was Marky Mark. I’d personally prefer to live to an age where I can hold my own children without suffering from a severe case of the shakies than rake in millions of dollars every year risking my own well-being for a barbaric sport. Or maybe it’s just because there are easier ways to make a buck in this lost world we live in without risking my life and ending up like, say, Corky Thatcher from late 80s/early 90s television drama Life Goes On, trying to do so. That’s also why I’ll never be some drug-peddling block star-turnt-rapster either… well, that and the fact I don’t have the heart to sell drugs to my community.

Stupid conscience.

These days, however, it doesn’t even seem like you really need to push weight to be clinically off your rocker, as some artists today were seemingly bred just to ingest paint chips. Think about it: any rapster who, after seemingly making it out of the very cesspool of despair that inspired them to pick up a microphone in the first place, ends up neck-deep back in shit’s creek for doing unnecessarily dumb shit is obviously a couple pills short of a full prescription. Artists like “(I Eat The Asbestos From The) Brick Squad” affiliates Gucci Mane and Waka Flocka are dead ringers for Special Olympics contestants with Gooch (literally) checking in to a loony bin and Waka deciding it would be great to expand his burgeoning empire by getting on the hoe train, The Godfather-style, in his own home, while T.I. apparently wants to receive the Medal Of Honor in that shit for riding around shining with E-pills and kicking it with fellow felons while still on probation.

It looks like they’re going to have pretty stiff competition too, as actual mentally challenged rapsters are stepping into the arena as well. We all know about (and mocked, let’s keep it real here) a pair of the more prominent “acts” out, Eli Porter and 50 Tyson, but I had no idea that the two have been actually beefing with each other for the better part of winter. Now, whereas I felt I actually had a good chance of kicking it with Lilith and Beelzebub in Satan’s crimson gates when I did before, I can actually laugh at these two battle each other online with no fear of repercussions from whatever deity decides to watch over me any given day of the week.

2011 is going to be interesting. Watch.

[1] This whole post was sponsored in part by this damaging head cold that doesn’t have me thinking straight, so if you feel a certain ways about this… uh, sorry?

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  • Teddy

    It looks like someone was watching Tropic Thunder this week on FX. ;)

    But to one Journalist to another I think we can all agree that going retard really isnt such a bad career move. Wale being a Prime Example. When he first came out he had the hardest time getting everyone who wasnt a Hip-Hop Head. But then he did that “No Hands” joint with Waka. Stupid? Yes. Get ya laid? Maybe. But the song managed to save a good rappers career? Hell! That aint retarded.

    Don’t buy that ask Andre 3000, 2006, “Walk it out” with DJ Unk? Now considered one of the best rappers of all time.

    Temporary Retardation Works.

  • Chucky D

    The newest Madden sucks? For real? I’ll give you that the announcers are fucked, always saying things that aren’t happening, and talking shit about your play, but the gameplay is so much better than any madden before it. I’m lovin it, and it’s great to be an eagles fan so i can justify using the Eagles and Vick each time.

  • avenger xl

    Repost cleaning up a few typos and such

    Gucci is playing crazy to avoid being locked up for a much longer time. Was he failed by some school system? yes thats obvious in his whole persona unless that is as fake as the Lil Jon character on the chapelle show (i.e. speaks proper and elogant off camera). Another big unless is if he did sherm. Other than that Gucci is just pulling the crazy card to stay out of jail.
    Charles Hamilton was said to have some mental issues before. He was also said to have done various drugs on the reg so it could be legit from charlie milk toast. However it also could be him attempting to get a do over for the dumb decessions he made going in. He was one of the few artists that truely built a following through the net and caught the hipster buzz on the front in. Then sqandered it all by making series of dummy moves like running up on seasoned battle rappers and confronting some chick he had stouped and getting mushed in the face. The final straw being the whole dilla co-signed my album ish then the fall out and downward spiral. So as I said I can see how the actions above can be beleived to be those of the mentally challegened or the young and reckless without direction. Time will tell on the Charlie milktoast saga but Gucci is playing crazy to stay out of jail because he is still doing dumb street shit with idiots that he needs to separate himself from.

    As far as actual talented artist doing remixes with LCD rappers that is not stupid its called a smart business move. Because these rappers want mainstream success at any cost for their talents and the LCD rappers have mainstream success. So of course they are going to work with them on songs especially Wale but I fear Wale may not be able to save his career this easy because of that sellout pop-tard first album. You have to build a solid base before you got that route Wale and your base wasn’t their dog. 3 stacks did the unk remix because that is how ATL does. They support each other and DJ UNK created a typical dance floor joint that is part of the ATL club culture it was a good look for 3 stacks to show his following that he can still get down with the streets from his high spires of fame sans guns and weed (TI gets the retard rapper of the year award in my book) cue REN holt TI you IDIOOOOOT!

  • Daniel Sweeney

    Oh… my.. god…

    No mention of Mr. Based?

  • bobby

    think about it tho… in comparison, are 50 tyson’s lyrics any worse that Waka’s? The way Waka talks and raps sounds like he has down’s syndrome….