These southern rappers can’t stay out of prison!

It’s uncanny. It seems like every time one of these idiotic southern rappers (my bad) gets out of the pokey, another one goes back in – and that’s not even counting the ones who’ve been in there the entire time. Like this guy Lil Boosie, who, from what I understand, sounds like a vicious serial killer, despite how childlike he seems, probably due to lack of a proper education. (Or is that a thing with serial killers?) Is that one guy from the Hot Boys that no one ever gave a shit about still locked up? It could be that he’s in one of those situations where he could be out by now, if he could get someone to come pick him up, like in the Andy Garcia movie City Island, but no one has, because, like I said, who gives a shit?

Lil Wayne is set to touch ground (or whatever the prison terminology is for escaping the belly of the beast) this Thursday, i.e. tomorrow (what the fuck have I been doing this week? definitely not voting). I read on MTV or somewhere yesterday that the plan is for him to start recording on the plane home to Georgia or Florida or wherever, lest he stick around in NY too long and end up getting tossed back in the clink for another year for having weed in his shoe or some shit. You know they don’t play that shit out in New York. They’ve got quotas to meet, regardless of whether or not it’s technically illegal.

If Lil Wayne had managed to get out two days earlier, he could have recorded a song with T.I. That shit would have been the biggest song of all time: arguably the two biggest rappers out right now, certainly the two most popular southern rappers, one of them freshly sprung from prison (always a plus in the black community), the other one on his way back in after having only been out for less than a year. They could have called that shit the Best of Both Correctional Facilities. And with the level of thought these southern rappers put into their rhymes (again, my apologies), they probably could have cranked out an entire album’s worth of songs in just a couple of days. Songs about dudes trying to test them in the shower, songs about working out in the yard, songs about your girlfriend trying to smuggle you in E pills in her vagine. That would have been a fascinating album, if only from a sociological perspective.

Alas, T.I. was sent back, to the same prison he was in earlier this year, yesterday, or the day before. I’m not sure. I’m at that point in my life where the days start to run together. I’ve got a five year plan, and it’s to try to not focus on how bad my life is for the next five years. It involves a lot of alcohol. At least I’m free to go wherever I want whenever I want, provided it’s not too expensive, and I don’t have to bust a shift at the BGM. Now, if only I could find a woman to make sweet, passionate love to me. T.I. on the other hand? I heard this time they aren’t even letting Tiny visit him in prison. She might actually try to smuggle in some E pills in her vagine, if not for T.I., “for her own personal amusement.” And she’s got her own legal problems to worry about anyway. I think we all know those were her drugs in that Maybach. If Tiny ends up going to jail, and T.I. is already in jail, who’s gonna take care of those kids? Young Dro? Is he gonna buy them a shedload of Polo shirts? Where’s he gonna get the money?

I was kinda disappointed to see yesterday that Gucci Mane got arrested, right as T.I. was going back in and right before Lil Wayne was set to get out, not because I’m looking forward to any songs by Lil Wayne featuring Gucci Mane, or vice versa, or because I give a shit where Gucci Mane is, but because it fucks up the rotation. Gucci Mane was supposed to wait until another prominent southern rapper got out of prison to go back in, thus maintaining the stereotype. Gucci Mane going back in the same time as T.I. is no good. What if they end up getting out the same time? Then who’s gonna go back in? That’s too much of a burden for Lil Wayne, who couldn’t even manage to release a reasonably successful followup to Tha Carter III. (I could have released a reasonably successful followup to Tha Carter III, and I don’t even rap.) But something tells me I shouldn’t be too concerned. The way things are going these days, smart money’s on at least one prominent southern rapper being locked up at all times.

  • Worley

    “I’ve got a five year plan, and it’s to try to not focus on how bad my life is for the next five years. It involves a lot of alcohol.”

    You a damn fool.

  • Black Republican

    Ignorant folks do ignorant things. Nothing new under the sun, next week it will be another dumb negro and it will keep going until we gather some sense about ourselves and recognize who we are. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Wake up from ignorance folk. No one is on side.

  • Prince Caesar

    LMAO!!…that was funny as hell. The crazy thing about this post is that it is very true. I don’t understand why these syrup sipping, low-life clowns are in such a rush to return to the booty house! I would love to sit on my ass and make millions of dollars from spitting half-assed rhymes using auto-tune. Oh well..fuck ‘em all. Bol, keep up the good work, brotha.

  • Black Republican

    Ignorant folks do ignorant things. Nothing new under the sun, next week it will be another dumb negro and it will keep going until we gather some sense about ourselves and recognize who we are. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Wake up from ignorance folk. No one is on side….

  • Boca

    I didnt read this but if its bashing the south then Im all for it. Bunch of inbred dumbass coons down there.

    • AR-KKK-ANSAS

      Hey Boca, u can eat a fat dicc! I think you are so damn stupid that you actually believe that ish! oh, yeah fucc boy, it would seem to me and probably is true, that you have roots down south as a lot of notherners do correct? Now would that not make your stupid ass of the same gene pool as these as you quote “Bunch of inbred dumbass coons down there”. So what that make you sap succa! accroding to you a retard (ME) just roasted your simple ass…SO I SAID THAT TO SAY THIS KEEP THE SOUTH OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. you what LIKE TO CALL OLD NAPKIN ASS NIGGA CAUSE THATS WHERE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!! CYBER BULLY!

      • qu

        nigga da souf aint neva gonna be ny give it up pussys

      • Simon

        Nigga u got KKK in yo name so you cant say shit. Racist mothafucka kill yoself immediately.

        • AR-KKK-ANSAS

          and just how stupid are you,i’m blacc dummy! from the south AR-KKK-ANSAS i’m saying it cause they exist here stupid not because I am one… they do a lot a fowl ish to niggaz like me and u! get it punk!

  • tstiffy

    What they need to do is get about 4 or 5 of these “prominent” Southern rappers in the same clink at the same time. Write some half-assed bars in the yard, have some of the queens sing hooks and back up, work on some old Temptations-style dance routines—you know make efficient use of the time when not getting touched on like ‘Pac. Then hit the streets running and cake up. The industry has never seen anything like this–street cred from being in jail + dance moves = license to print money. Bigger than the Jackson 5—the Fulton County 5 or something

    • tstiffy sucks on long schlongs

      Somebody should shoot you in your ass like Pac did those two Georgia police officers.

  • Anonymous

    What they need to do is get about 4 or 5 of these “prominent” Southern rappers in the same clink at the same time. Write some half-assed bars in the yard, have some of the queens sing hooks and back up, work on some old Temptations-style dance routines—you know make efficient use of the time when not getting touched on like ‘Pac. Then hit the streets running and cake up. The industry has never seen anything like this–street cred from being in jail + dance moves = license to print money. Bigger than the Jackson 5—the Fulton County 5 or something

  • 48hegog35

    FUCK DA SOUTH

  • alderman j

    AINT A NIGGA IN THE UNION THAT DIDNT COME FROM THE SOUTH, ALL THE SLAVE SHIPS DOCKED IN THE SOUTH!!! NIGGERS (NOTICE THAT SAYS NIGGERS AND NOT NIGGAS) PLEASE!!!!! YALL HATE US CAUSE YALL AINT US!!!!

    • 35g

      racist faggot burn in hell white bitch

  • http://yahoo jason

    maybe its because they are the only rappers who live what they say, everybody is always screaming for the real and when they get it….. blues and jazz are also based in authenticity, also from the south and so is your ancestry how can you scream fuck the south? im from the midwest and we got love for the south. WAKE UP ITS YOUNG BLACK MEN GOING TO JAIL EVERYWHERE YOU JUST DONT KNOW THEM NIGGAS MY NIGGA.

  • alderman j

    DIDNT MAX B GET 75 YEARS, DONT DMX GO TO JAIL EVERY 6 MONTHS, DIDNT SHYNE PO JUST DO A DIME!!!!!! IM JUST SAYING THO!!!

  • dat k00n nigga

    What country jig a boo rapper is left to lock up ?

  • kingequality

    This is some ignorant shit right here.We got enough problems,what we need to do is stick together. They love to see us fight amongst ourselves. Wake up the hell up people we barely 4 decades out of the civil rights movement!!!!!!!

  • fukupnorth

    I don’t give a shit who goes to jail. But i bet none of you faggots would come down and repeat that shit.

  • http://yahoo jason

    why do we always argue with each other about the silliest things when in the eyes of people in power we all just NIGGAS IN DIFFERENT AREA CODES. read the article and read the comments and look how ridiculous we look arguing with each other about region and not the big picture, YOUNG BLACK MEN, RICH, POOR, EDUCATED, UNEDUCATED ARE GOING TO JAIL AT AN ALARMING RATE! LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE MY NIGGAS

    • sATaLyte

      Holy shit,…an intelligent comment…

  • http://www.bboycult.com Don mcCaine

    Y’all still arguing about north and south? SMDH

    k

  • Grand

    LOL. Theres plenty of rappers from up north going to jail but noone really gives a damn about them. Its not even funny to say fuck any region really, these are all brothers going to jail either for not being discreet or letting themselves fall for the trap. The police aint playin when they see “niggas” rollin in cars they couldnt buy in a lifetime, i mean all the hate and they got white people pushin whips like that..and its nothin..Why would you hate the south? You feel that much hatred for a region when you had rap on lock for 3 decades?
    WOW….hope the west blows up next..

  • Mikey F Baby

    “If Tiny ends up going to jail, and T.I. is already in jail, who’s gonna take care of those kids? Young Dro?”

    LMAO

  • anutha_level

    willie D just banged up for a year…

  • bighorse

    They love dick in the ass, simple as that.

  • Anonymous

    fuck the south all them niggas is gay as hell

  • Anonymous

    You niggas make me happy that abortion is legal.

  • ff1one@yahoo.com

    those comments is why this ignorant stuff shouldn’t be written. It only contributes to the problem.

  • richryne

    im white im from a small town inbetween the beaches and the country side in fla. seems to me that black people, all over the usa not just the south or ny, do illegal shit,drugs robberys illegal guns murder wtf you want, and get caught cuz obv most cops persue black people and cause their dumb enough to par take in illegal activities. most of you ignorant fucks are why theirs racism in the world. and the sad part is you dont care, dont read a any book open up the Holy Bible n learn something. black males when you have children be in their lives, and teach them not to want to grow up and want to be rappers. these rappers claim to be gods in the hood but all they do is bury everyone who idols them into the dirt. no future no hope. sounds like to my NY is pisst cause they only got jay n nas,fuck 50 cent, dipset shit is wack,fat joe? manio is real as fuck but lame as hell. jadakiss is underatted.diddy should just make clothing. who the fuck does ny have? nas is my favorite rapper and im from freakin fla. if you so mad at the south you should go pray that God ressurects biggie. and when pac n big died, ignorant people caused it because of your hate and bigotry towards other AMERICANS were all freakin americans. dont get me wrong there is a lot, a lot of shitty south music. but chicago, atlanta, florida and california is where its at, maybe ny will make a come back. one day.

  • http://www.yahoo.com dr@$t-iQ Alkoholik

    man you know how stupid em niggaz is, we know Weezy got a fetish for kissing niggas, thus him goin to Jail, Ross was a C.O, T.I Cant stay away from a salad, and the rest just watch too many Pac videos got em thinking they Geez, they just need to look at Hov and Em who never beeen to Jail but are still killing it not like these niggas who came after them but fell off coz they kept it real stupid muthafuckaz

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  • blue red

    This post is a lame attempt to be funny.