The Sandwich Shop

You know, it’s easy to see why the smarter women of the world catch a bad rap. Case in point: at a release party a few weeks ago I met a young woman who, despite currently attending graduate school to earn a master’s in finance with the hopes of returning to her native home of Washington, DC to start a program that would benefit children in need, commented that she was being hit on more times than Halle Berry’s dead ear by the mass amount of hunger-driven Stanleys that attended thinking she was a groupie.

And of course I’d be the only person there who’d talk to her about her background instead of her backside, but that’s because when you have something arguably much better at home already – and perhaps, ready to slice a piece off of me should I try to prove otherwise – you don’t need to do anything more.

It’s no wonder women catch a bad rap in rap. The media has portrayed them as, for the most part, sex meats only used for our mass consumption, all the while telling them what to do in order to keep “their man” happy. They have it all wrong too; women, you don’t need an article in Essence telling you how to keep us happy. To paraphrase Dave Chappelle, all you need to do is blow us, juggle us, make us a sandwich and don’t speak so much during the games. Is that so hard?

Some women seem to even thrive in that environment and somehow end up in better positions of life. Take note: the owner of those breasts you’re currently looking at on your desktop instead of actually working (KEEP IT REAL) may end up as your boss one day. It’s how Lisa-Raye went from bouncing around in 2Pac videos and making me grow up a bit faster thanks to her “starring role” in Ice Cube’s masterpiece disaster “The Player’s Club,” to inexplicably becoming the first lady of Turks & Caicos.

But why even try to disprove this theory when it’s so easy to cock-hop your way to the Promised Land for heauxshyt, which is about the equivalent of not having to wait in line at your local Waffle House, I wonder. Going back to the young lady I met at the release party, you have to wonder what, exactly, did and continues to go through to fulfilling her career aspirations, educationally (I never once liked stressing during finals week when I was an undergrad; doing that for a Master’s would drive me insane) and financially (word to the many folks who are still paying back their loans some five years after finishing school). In that sense, it’s nothing to simply suck off a rapster and end up driving around town with his card and car in tow.

While I’m sure most of (or at least I’d like to think that they would) the readers and c-sectioneers will choose the grad student over the Kat Stacks of the world, it’s easy to see why they would choose otherwise when the latter is more likely to make her femur touch her esophagus on the first date. By the way, if you know a woman who is a grad student and can make your femur touch your esophagus, I suggest you wife her. Immediately.

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  • Cuttingsworth

    Stop trying to write like bol. You’re shock commentary is nothing new, I did like your writing but F u meks. You fall along the ranks of other stanleys (look you created a new term a la bol) You’re just an upper classmen stan who gets paid.

  • 6 100

    The femur is the thigh bone. the only way it comes close to the esophagus, located in the throat/upper chest, is when a person is folded up like the great Carmen Hayes, or bent over like the not so great Meka.

    Oh, and that reference being towards dudes is wild gay. Especially if you have a basic knowledge of anatomy

  • stopit5

    you run a website celebrating groupie culture and similar bullsjit

  • dunk

    6 100, u are an idiot.

  • HellNaw

    “It’s no wonder women catch a bad rap in rap”

    A woman who chooses to be an album release (which for the most part are in the middle of the week) complaining about being hit on is ridiculous.It’s a bit like a dude walking into a strip club and being pissed that people keep asking him ‘for a drink’.

    I’m not saying it’s right I’m just saying that both parties are aware of the negatives but still chose to be in said environment.

    Aint no innocent little undergrads walking around just dying for an ‘intelluctual conversation’ with someone with trendy-dreads and a share in a mid-scale hiphop website.

    just my thoughts.

    • Tee Max


      thats deep… so basically, fair or not, you’re saying a female can’t be at a release party and not expect to be harassed? that says a number of hugely negative things, not only about the individuals within the scene, but the lack of expectations those individuals have of black women. that’s like saying stereotypes that white people are still stuck on, dictate that regardless of whether you walk into your local bank, in a suit or a throwback and jeans, you’re still more likely to be a bank robber, than a citizen just going about their everyday business.

      so i guess by that thought process, any woman attending said event, should have the same low expectations of the men attending? re-enforcing outdated stereotypes damages you, as much as the person they’re placed on. treat an individual as an individual, and you may be accorded the same respect.

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  • John Cochran

    The whole ” women in rap” conversation has been overdone. Women been getting treated the same for decades. Shit, at least this is America, where women are like 5 years from taking over completely. You go to one of those 3rd world countries and a women would feel the wrath of Allah for speaking out of turn.