The Curious Case Of The Missing Summer Jam

There comes a time when you’re flooded with so much music that you’d much rather prefer having your nuts laid on a fucking dresser, just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser, and bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat than have to listen to the latest single from MC PimpDemHoez. That time, unfortunately, has been the last couple years with the rise of the Internets (um, sorry?) and it’s high-speed mannerisms, where a song that’s been out for about 12 hours is already considered “old.”

To tell the truth, I couldn’t even tell you exactly what has been released over the past four days that has caught my eye, save for Pusha T’s Fear Of God single. This new era of music distribution and promotion has inspired a nation of millions to think they can and should actually rap for a living (or allegedly “out of the love,” as so many will say), without realizing that a: they’ve not taken the time to work on and try to perfect their middling craft and b: should stick to poisoning the hearts of America with KFC Double Downs instead of polluting the e-waves with music that will never catch on. Everybody’s so caught up in either trying to be the “first” to drop something new that nobody seems to care about making or promoting a song that will be everlasting.

Um, sorry again?

All of that results in an ADHD-styled mishmash of remedial songs that end up overshadowing actual good music, making them that much harder to find (believe me, I try every day), and we – the music listener/fan/critic – end up without songs we could either remember years down the line or attach to specific periods in our lives. Case in point: Jay-Z’s summer cut of 2001, “The Takeover,” [1] will always be remembered for the song that simultaneously dismantled Prodigy’s career and put a battery in Nas’ back. Taking it back even further, the first time I got arrested (after leading the Long Beach Police Department on a nearly hour-long foot race throughout the city) the soundtrack to my failed escape was Noreaga’s “Banned From TV,” and that was when “Banned From TV” was new. Now I can’t even tell you what my favorite song was two years ago without having to go to Wikipedia to remember what even happened in 2008. Damn, Webbie was still around back then?

The summer cut was meant to be the song you would take with you into the following summers. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince’s “Summertime” is still an instant vintage banger despite being almost as old as some of the readers of this site. In comparison, the summer jam this year seems to be Rick Ross’ “BMF (Blowin’ Money Fast).” I may enjoy the wanton nignorance of “BMF” like the next man, but I doubt that song will have the same longevity as Will and Jeff’s ubiquitous classic. While the single has been able to last for longer than a day by Internets standards, it’s not going to be really known for anything other than its shout out of incarcerated Scarfaces, and I’m probably going to have to return to Wikipedia in two years just to remember it again.

[1] I know “H.O.V.A.” was the more successful single, but “The Takeover” was the unofficial summer jam. Plus, he premiered it at Summer Jam.