Charles Hamilton wasn’t just pretending to be crazy

“Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don’t think it’s crazy at all and I don’t think you do either.”
Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Damn, so Charles Hamilton was crazy all along. I never could tell.

I mean, I knew he kept doing crazy shit, over and over again, to the point where, at a certain point, it became difficult for me to document it all, between scouring the Internets for pictures of especially beautiful women, for my Tumblr, making sure I didn’t go for too long without putting on a drunk, taking the occasional nap, so on and so forth. Keeping up with Charles Hamilton’s wacky antics was like a part-time job. And I already had a part-time job, at the BGM.

Then it all came to an end. There was that time he named the late, great (regardless of what RapPravda says) J Dilla executive producer of his album on Interscope, which didn’t come out anyway, one of my favorite Charles Hamilton stunts of all time, and that was it. The next thing you, he’d disappeared from the Internets: stopped updating his Twitter (nhjic), stopped posting pictures of Sonic the Hedgehog on his blog, stopped putting out a new mixtape every three days or so. He just kinda up and disappeared.

The rumor at the time was that the seance with J Dilla’s corpse was the last straw for Interscope, which dropped him like a bad habit and hence permanently shelved his album. He was taking some time off to reflect on how he’d gone, seemingly overnight, from being a high priority artist at one of the top labels in all of hip-hop to being the laughing stock of the Internets, and to plot a new course for his career, so to speak. It seemed to make sense: all of his problems had to do with him spending too much time on the Internets. He needed to fall back for a minute. If only this had occurred to him before he claimed that Dilla had been giving him tips on how to get the right sound from his snare drum, via mind bullets.

That’s telekinesis, Kyle.

A message went up on his blog that there wasn’t anything wrong with him, he was just taking some time off. In retrospect, this was clearly proof that there was indeed something wrong with him, as if the video of him getting cold cocked by his would be baby’s mother wasn’t enough. No one takes to the Internets to announce that there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just taking some time off, unless there really is something wrong with them, let alone has someone else take to the Internets to announce that there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just taking some time off. If there wasn’t anything wrong with him, how come he couldn’t have told us himself?

Whenever I’m gone from the Internets for a few days in a row, I hope people realize that I’m working like a hebrew slave in one of my series of minimum wage jobs, or I’m afraid that my free, serendipitous BangBros password will expire before I download these last three pages or so of updates from AssParade, and I’d hate to have to actually pay the $30 or whatever it costs to finish downloading them, because obviously you don’t get that close to the end of the race without crossing the finish line, as it were, or something to that effect. The only time you have to worry is when there’s a post here by my mom explaining that, no, I didn’t get busted by Chris Hansen going to meet a girl I met on Facebook, who claimed to be a big fan of my post the other day on women treating men as if they were objects/women, I’m just taking some time to finish up my book.

Charles Hamilton must have been in a state where he couldn’t even fix his fingers to type that there wasn’t anything wrong with him. Either he was in a straight jacket, and they didn’t want to take it off, for fear that he might choke the shit out of somebody, like Jack Nicholson after Nurse Ratched busted in on Brad Dourif trying to get some stank on his hanglow, or his hands were free, but he had no idea where he was or what the fuck anyone was talking about. In this interview (or whatever the fuck it’s supposed to be) with Bossip, he admits that he could no longer carry on a regular conversation with people without breaking into song, presumably songs like the ones on Kool Keith’s Dr. Dooom album.

Wasn’t Kool Keith once in a looney bin? His career rebounded, albeit temporarily. If and when Charles Hamilton is deemed safe to walk the streets, he should attempt a comeback similar to Kool Keith’s late ’90s-era career renaissance. He might even consider doing a cover of the album Matthew, similar to Fashawn’s version of Illmatic. “FUMF” would obviously be dedicated to Brianna a/k/a Knuckles.

  • SOMETHIN NEW

    What’s the point of writing about Charles Hamilton when we knew this was going to happen anyways,Bol?…No homo.

    You might as well written another love letter about Lupe or Jay Z as you do when you have nothing else to write about.No homo or nullus.

    You need to write about the T.I’s like you used to and also this post didn’t have enough no homo’s written in it.No homo.

    Charles Hamilton is a victim of the T.I’s,no homo.Jay Z is behind all of this anyways.No homo.There Bol,I just did one of your daily post for you.No homo.

    • Anonymous

      charles is for sure crazy

  • ChinCheka

    Brianna aka Knuckles… CLASSIC!!!

  • Shawty J

    Funny drop, but once again totally pointless. Hamilton’s an afterthought at this point. I forgot the nigga existed until you did another post about him.

  • Anonymous

    all u do is shit talk cant you talk about anything positive? or just report

  • http://jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    Really though, I’d bet money that Charles Hamilton relapsed. His choice of drug, heroin, is one of the hardest shits out there to kick for good.

    Telekinesis? Sounds more like necroscopic, meaning to speak with the dead if it were possible – meaning he went fuckin’ nuts…

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

    * blank stare *

  • Bol’s #1 Fan Stan

    Bol, i wanna suck your dick (no homo)

  • Anonymous

    wow you shouldn’t even be called a Blogger…

  • fastflipper

    Bol is the reason people still come on xxlmag.com

    Bol is doing his thing

    hes funny come with ”out of nowhere” hot jokes and at least hes not dick riding no one

    • Bol’s #1 Fan Stan

      exactly

  • ff1one@yahoo.com

    the dude is crazy. CRAZY. its noted. google it. its in his songs. he also spoke on the j dilla production credit. there is a thin line between a genius / insane person. google it

    this is a good write cause chuck is mad talented.

  • stlouisfinest

    what does bgm mean?

  • Juke

    Charles Hamilton is extremely talented but it seems his issues may have killed a once promising career.

    Never know, he may still have a respectable career.

  • HellNaw

    Charles Hamilton stay losing.

    I never understood the appeal of Charles Hamilton.He’s kinda quirky like Andre3000, back-packer like Q-Tip, from New York like Jay-Z.Wow this guy should be a win.nope.

    Just one notch below poorch-monkey-glitter rap is fake-knowledge rap.

  • http://www.myspace.com/kidikarusraps Kid Ikarus (the greatest rapper you’ve never heard of)

    this is all part of his plan you’ll all see CH will b back and better than ever soon enough, quote me on that!

  • illestni99ainne

    i tried to like dude his flow just seems off to me idk then there was the stuff with his baby moms/rhymefest/j dilla/sonic too weird for me man