What Do Drake & Shyne Have In Common?

Doing what I do, I’m subject to a lot of solicitations from every MC Stab-N-Kill, two-bit hack rapster from the deepest, darkest regions of North Bumblefuck, USA. And to be quite honest, a good 93% of every individual who feel they can sustain a worthwhile career in rap should just stop. Seriously, just stop. It’s not like any of youse will do anything worthwhile outside of serving up KFC Double Downs for the rest of your lives. Each and every day I get a new email from some up and coming rapper who – foolishly inspired by past and present acts, something they saw on television or, in yesterday’s case, the unofficial weed holiday – thinks that they can rap their way into a life of luxury.

If things were that easy, I wouldn’t have spent the latter part of the last decade on unemployment.

If there’s anyone to blame for this, the finger could be pointed at these record labels signing artists – the same labels that C&D my ass for posting the very song they send me, mind you – like Drake and Shyne to multi-million dollar deals, despite the fact they truly haven’t proven themselves as a viable commodity. I’m not suggesting that these two will crash and burn faster than an overpacked Cessna, but at a time where labels are doing anything to squeeze blood from the proverbial turnip of rap just to turn a profit, tossing seven figures to rappers like they haven’t been in the red since ringtone, “get-rich-quick” style rap imploded just seems off to me.

Dubious acting past, Shredded Wheat kneecap and Kanye West-directed soft-core porn of a debut music video aside, Aubrey has been able to overcome his missteps to become one of the most popular acts out now, thus far having the far better chance at sustaining in today’s “now you see me, now you don’t” rapster economy due to his high-profile affiliations and penchant for crooning his way into the hearts and labia of prepubescent girls. And he didn’t have to run through Kat Stacks to do so, which is more than I can say for the rest of Lil Wayne’s crew of Percocet pocketers. Oh hai Lil Twist.

On the flip, Jamal Michael Barrow… Moses Michael Leviy… whatever he’s calling himself these days doesn’t have a modicum of Drake’s buzz, but that didn’t stop L.A. Reid from foolishly flying down to Belize to personally give him a financial reacharound after he was sprung from the pokey for autographing a woman’s face with a Beretta over a decade ago. And this was before anybody actually heard him actually rap. Now, given that he now possesses a voice that sounds like his throat was used for all the wrong reasons while in prison, has dropped a bunch of underwhelming songs that show his rap rust, has no commercial viability at this point and the fact Def Jam’s recent track record with rap has been shaky at best (the label hasn’t released a platinum-selling rap album since Young Jeezy’s The Recession back in 2008), I’m still wondering why Reid still has a job in the first place.

In essence, these two could be held as examples for tragically inspiring a nation of millions to pick up a microphone instead of a book. Because, really, who wants to spend four-plus years in college only to settle with a crappy, underpaying job and a stack of loans to pay back when, if lucky enough, one could feast on the finest of crab meats and slores just for rhyming “trigger” with “jigger?” In that case, don’t look to me to get your career off the ground; I’ll just end up throwing your music in the trash the second I see it. But if Drake and Shyne fail – and at least one of them will – will it stop a nation of millions from trying to rap? I wish.

  • Pingback: Slang Editorial: What Do Drake & Shyne Have In Common? | 2dopeboyz

  • Pingback: Slang Editorial: What Do Drake & Shyne Have In Common? | 2dopeboyz

  • http://www.reupspot.com reupspot

    another good write up lol…taking out some aggresion

  • G Dub

    First of I understand what you are saying as a whole but I’m going to have to disagree with you on the Drake comparison.

    Besides the fact that “Best I Ever Had” was his second solo video, and was part of the biggest tour 2009, Drake has proven his self as a viable commodity. How many other artist are you seeing in commercials? (very few) How many rappers do you know can give a way a cd, then re-package it and in turn sell it, and out sell 50 Cent? Not that many..

  • sloop

    this one was vicious:
    “autographing a womans face with a beretta”

  • Chino

    XXL fell the fuck off. You just lost one loyal reader by putting this tight jean wearing clown on the site.

  • doodoobrown

    Sounds like a friend of mine from back home…he thinks he’s a really good rapper when the only thing keeping him up are beats from his producer, smh. The dude wants to sell his first mixtape for 5 bucks a pop and no one even knows him!

  • Serge

    This was a great article but if Drake was to fall back he can always fall back on acting. He was on a television show before he rapped, it’s not like he came out of no where like some rappers now. I totally agree with what you had to say about Shyne.

  • http://www.myspace.com/thelou lou

    you kind of contradict yourself by posting trash artist on 2dopeboyz. just saying. but i agree. a lot of kids have this dream to be a big rapper instead of going to school, but what about the ones in school who do it on the side who are actually good? you still pass them up too thou. ehhh. fuck a education. fuck rap. do what feels good to you and if they don’t accept you for it. fuck em.

  • ff1one@yahoo.com

    despite ur skinny jeans or whateva style…ur writing style is on point. The nfl draft also does this. Truth is, there are a lot of people at the top who loose touch of what is really going on. They buy into the hype. They follow the fad. They allow others to think for them. For example, i personally can’t and won’t wear skinny jeans. But i’m not gonna knock or hate on a person who does. Nor am i gonna change to follow the fad. I wouldn’t sell my stock in whatever it is i believe in because of the fad. I might make a small investment. Give it a listen. point blank, there is a trickle down effect starting at the top. too many people going thru the motions.

  • Kenbo

    Everybody please take drakes dick out ur mouths im tired of ppl running to his defense…For wat none of you will see a penny of his money all this co’signin of Drake..The boy sounds like his rappin the same verse of every song…I can hold a note to Im Goooooonnnnneeee uh…thats all he does ppl co’signin this guy lets me know that rap at shit no more

  • nickh

    Meka and Shake’s distaste for people supporting their site and sending them possible content to post on 2dbz is disgusting. The people who send you guys music are also the people who visit your site every day and download everything you post and help you make money. So why criticize them and give those people a bad image in the eyes of your readers who DONT rap. Especially when you and I both know that many of these kids sending you music have more talent than at least one of the rappers you wrote about in this article and continue to post on 2dbz.

    Talk about being unappreciative.

  • http://sandwichanddrink.wordpress.com deliman

    Great post. There has to be some more black role models besides rappers and athletes.

    That line, “he now possesses a voice that sounds like his throat was used for all the wrong reasons while in prison” was friggin’ hillarious.

    Finally there’s someone on this site to give Crawford a run for his money.

  • http://www.2dopeboyz.com/ KNOWxONE

    Wicked wordplay sensei.

    • Yo Momma

      “And this was before anybody actually heard him actually rap. Now, given that he now possesses a voice…”

      That’s wicked wordplay? I know 7th graders that can write better.

  • earlzhammon

    Meka is a bitch point blank.

  • Yo Momma

    Also, Meka and Shake are both punk bitches. It’s part of your fucking job to deal with those people sending you emails, you chose to run that blog. You and your sped-up-soul-sample sounding boyfriend need to grow the fuck up and realize that’s part of the job.

    • Brahsef

      The best part of being self-employed is that you don’t need a punk ass bitch telling you how to do your job. If they don’t wanna respond, keep it moving. Soundin like a salty bitch who isn’t gettin her calls answered.

  • HomieOmey

    2dopeboyz is by far my favorite blog, but the writing here is pretty weak. Either stick to short blurbs or try to look at things a bit more objectively.

    Not only that, but what’s the point of the article anyways? Simply to show your frustration for the game right now? This whole article just suggests that you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. It would be nice if you at least pointed out some of the positive things Drake has done for hip hop lately.

    • Chino

      What they really should do is stick to copy and pasting shit.

    • El Tico Loco

      Um point out positive things like what?

  • MithritadesHD

    I agree with u Meka and I’m fairly objective but I’m glad u gave these imbeciles another platform to express their inner hate lol

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  • Anonymous

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    This song is called SURVIVE DA TRUTH off U.T.N.G VOL#1 check it out on youtube search A 2 DA ZKI SURVIVE DA TRUTH and comment write your opinion about the music

  • http://www.seeyouinmynightmares.com KING_KG

    YOU DUMBASSES…this is an editorial piece. Many of you must be rappers !!! LOL !

    “but that didn’t stop L.A. Reid from foolishly flying down to Belize to personally give him a financial reacharound after he was sprung from the pokey for autographing a woman’s face with a Beretta over a decade ago.”

    #nice

    @KING_KG

  • Will E. Will

    hahhah GREAT fuckin drop! I’m lookin forward to more!!! Finally, I can come here and read more than just BOL’S blogs. Nothing against BOL, just sayin.

  • eh

    He’s clearly trying to imitate Bol. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

  • http://www.youtube.com/Sirron7One3 Sirron

    This is your best post you put up, that I’ve read so far. Everythin was on point. Glad that someone atleast put it in print, properly.