Yukmouth got $92,000 on it

When I heard that Suge Knight beat the crap out of Yukmouth and robbed him of $92,000 worth of jewelry, I’m not gonna lie – my inner aging fat man felt kinda proud.

It was a feeling not unlike the feeling I get every now and again when I see a really fat man who’s like 70, at the grocery store with a cart full of bacon and shit. If you notice, you don’t see very many really tall or really fat old people – and it’s not just because people in general used to be way shorter and way skinner than they are now. Extra-big and extra-tall people just plain don’t live to be very old. But every now and again, you see one who’s managed to buck the trend, and you get this feeling that’s not unlike the feeling you get when you see an old, decrepit fuck with a smoking hot 20 year-old chick: on the one hand you’re kinda jealous, but on the other hand there’s the thought that one day you might be that guy.

It still isn’t clear to me what actually went down between Suge Knight and Yukmouth, but I figured maybe Suge Knight was in a grocery store, copping a bottle of Clos Du Bois 2007 Pinot Noir, a thick cut rib eye, and maybe a tube of Icy Hot to rub on his inner thigh region (no homo), when he saw Yukmouth from the Luniz walking around with $92,000 worth of jewelry on, and he got that urge not unlike what Tony Soprano felt when he kicked the shit out of that ripped, suspect kid who was acting as his bodyguard after he got shot. Maybe he could kick the shit out of Yukmouth, and it would help repair his image from all of those times when he got beat up by people he probably would have dangled over a balcony, or forced to drink a cup of piss (and I don’t mean store brand vodka), back in the early to mid ’90s. I don’t know jack shit about Yukmouth, other than that he was one of the guys from that song “I Got 5 on It,” but you have to think that he’s a pothead, which means he’s docile and retarded, and he’s gotta be getting on in years, if he hasn’t had a hit since I was in middle school, and I’m damn middle aged. I’ve already got the wardrobe.

But come to find out this shit didn’t take place anything like it did in my imagination. There were as many as 10 people involved, and Suge Knight may not have been one of them – though I suspect that he was. Yukmouth gave an interview to Vlad TV in which he explained that Suge Knight didn’t have anything to do with him getting robbed, that he didn’t say shit to the police, that the police are trying to make it seem as if Suge was involved, because they’re trying to find an excuse to toss him in the clink, so on and so forth, but of course he’s gonna say that. He can’t have people thinking he reported the incident to the police, because that’s frowned upon in the ghetto, even if 10 people you don’t even know beat the shit out of you and stole damn near a hundred grand worth of shit from you. You’ve seen that episode of 60 Minutes with Cam’ron. Even calling the cops on a child molester who lives in your building could be construed as snitching. Plus, what if Yukmouth wants to retaliate against Suge Knight, like in those early ’90s-era hood movies? This way, Yukmouth can pull a driveby on Suge Knight, and if 5-0 suspects he did it, he can just point to the story on Vlad TV in which he explained that he and Suge Knight don’t have any beef. To Yukmouth’s credit, the hip-hop police probably are dumb enough to be swayed by some shit like that. That’s why they kept trying to link any and every violent incident in hip-hop to an East Coast-West Coast beef, for like 10 years after the fact.

If I were Yukmouth, I’d go ahead and report this shit to the police. It’s not like Suge, or whoever robbed him, did so in a way that could be viewed as fair, or honorable. And he might be able to get that $92,000 worth of jewelry back. I happen to know, from having spent years and years working in low-level retail, that the one thing 5-0 does kinda succeed at is recovering stolen merchandise, if only by accident. The BGM gets shipments two days a week, and pretty much every other day of the week we get a trash bag full of shit that they found in a room full of dead tweakers or some shit.

I wonder what they do with the possessions of rappers too credible to report their shit stolen.

  • Caino

    ‘When I heard that Suge Knight beat the crap out of Yukmouth and robbed him of $92,000 worth of jewelry, I’m not gonna lie – my inner aging fat man felt kinda proud.’

    You wont get a better opening paragraph than that!! Good work Bol.

    So he did get robbed, it just wasnt Suge?

    • iLL GateZ

      YEA RIGHT!! suge knight is a fat broke bitch who ain’t shit but fat as hell, and he needed 9 or 10 other bitches to help him get that shit…….be real

    • iLL GateZ

      n yukmouth is a real NIGGA!! and he’s had hits since 5 on it….but he’s stayed underground WHERE THE REAL LOVE IS…..not that fake ass industry bullshit….yukmouth ride wit gangstas ..suge fucks wankstas in the ass….Regime SHIT!!!!

  • BigJon

    Suge is broke.

    Plus who wears all of their assets on their neck like this fool?

    fabolous would have gotten him soon enough anyway

  • http://pimpinpens.blogspot.com enzo

    “but you have to think that he’s a pothead, which means he’s docile and retarded”

    funny stuff

  • sealsaa

    That’s some general principle shit right there. You go anywhere except a television appearance with 90K in jewelry on, you need your shit taken from you.

    • http://www.bboycult.com $yk

      ^ Word

  • Worley

    “forced to drink a cup of piss (and I don’t mean store brand vodka)”

    Genius allusion to the latest in Bluff Daddy f*ckery.

    • valdez

      truth right here. ciroc is some pretty damn disgusting shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    “I wonder what they do with the possessions of rappers too credible to report their shit stolen.” – Bol.

    They go straight to YouTube to snitch on themselves.

  • http://www.sweatinghiccups.com tobasko

    Thank god for Bol, otherwise there would be no reason whatsoever to come to this website.

    • Bangthumbs

      Amen^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

      • valdez

        def. have to co-sign on that as well!

        • cmoney91

          bol’s blogs>whatever crap is on bangers

  • T J

    curren$y is the best in the game right now

  • Avenger XL

    As I stated on the first post concerning this. I call bullshit on Yukmouth walking around with 92,000 dollars in jewelry on. There is no way dude is that yappered up with rap-a-lot stealing his loot as if they were run by TI’s. His show money can’t be still sustaining him and I don’t think owning 92,000 in jewelry shows a smart investment mind unless he is a investment braniac who just happen to have a cooning fetish when it comes to jewlery.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    shit like this makes me understand why labels are catering to dudes like Drake and now Diggy Simmons. They’re so safe and come from the softest backgrounds so they don’t have to worry too much about being robbed of 90K worth of jewelery (supposedly) and not wanting to tell the the authorities because it’ll affect their image. And if they were robbed, their fans would sympathize with them instead of snitch. TI chose to be a snitch in order to avoid a 25 year sentence and continue to make millions. The people he told or may tell on might not be close to him so snitching on some random criminals shouldn’t really hurt a dude conscious. But folks are dragging him through the dirt for keeping a reputation that means nothing to a lot of the music consumers now. Ross was a cop and he managed to still have a career and make music that’s more appealing. So Yukemouth telling the police that Suge robbed him (supposedly) isn’t a bad move. TI, Ross, and 50 have beeen rumored to being affiliated with the police and they still have successful careers. These days making popular music means a lot more to the consumers than upholding an image.

  • HotelFrost

    Suge still a bully.
    T.I snitched on some Florida nigga, that fuck with Reds, case coming up now. His deal with the FEDS the niggas he snitched on wouldn’t stand trial until he was out. Distance. Fort Lauderdale

  • Anonymous

    ALL MY THIRD WORLD PEOPLE NEED TO COME TOGTHER.i HAVE NOT SEEN NONE OF THESE SO CALLED BRUTHA’S WALK UP TO THE POLICE OR THE MAN AND STICK IT TO UM

    THERE R TWO TYPE OF BRUTHA’S THE HOUSE NIGGA AND THE FIELD NIGGA.OH YEAH DON’T FORGET THE OVERSEER HE IS THE REASON MY PEOPLE GOT A BAD WRAP NOW.

  • burnout

    man bol you are hater of all things yukmouth, suge knights washed up, yukmouth is too, but suge mos defintly would not rob a nigga from east oakland, suge did not jack yukmouth

  • Heartbeat of 905

    Phuck ciroc. Only drink Stoli. Thats the true russian shit bitches.

    I got free health care bitches.

  • audio tech

    FUCK UR JEWELS NIGGA I GOT FREE HEALTH CARE!!!

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Why hasn’t anybody shot that big fuckin dummy yet?? I’d do the shit myself. The world would be a better place, not to mention the cops won’t give a fuck…..

  • weapon

    Use a search engine & look up his track record (albums/mixtapes) & tell me he don’t have over 90 g’z in jewels. How do niggaz do shows overseas (throughout europe & australia) put tour in the states. His all out war mixtapes sold over 3 times more than these mainstream albums. Check the numbers

  • http://blackcaesarworld.blogspot.com blackcaesar

    Yeah…. I can’t believe that shit actually Yukmouth should be still on last I heard Yay Area stay independently grinding….

    REad my shit blackcae$arworld.blogspot.com

    Interview with Wendy Day, blogs, and black history follow me on twitter @caesarthemind or @thediamondpack

  • Nigger Killer

    i would have did tha same thing if i seen that nigger walkin around with some jewelery