Never go into business with a blind person

These past few weeks, you could hardly swing a dead cat without hitting a story about one of Jay-Z’s myriad business ventures falling apart. There was one about how that hotel he was gonna open didn’t end up happening, and it sounded like may have been the one left holding the bag. There was the one yesterday about how he’s being investigated for his shady dealings with the blind governor of New York. I even read one a week or so ago about how he might be running out of money.

It was saying that he isn’t broke per se, like Noz, but he might be having liquidity problems. You know how Donald Trump will occasionally go bankrupt, and then the next year, you see him on a Forbes list of the richest people evar, with a net worth into the billions, then someone will try to claim that he doesn’t really have that much money. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t, if he’s been acting in these reality series. He’s probably got less money at this point than Jay-Z. But Jay-Z could fuck around and end up with even less money than that, if he doesn’t watch what he’s doing. He could end up like one of these dumbass ball players who made over a hundred million dollars over the course of their careers and don’t have shit to show for it. Not because Jay-Z is the kind of guy who would travel around from state to state impregnating women, both for his own personal amusement, and to make sure his message of love is spread to future generations, like I would, but because it sounds like the Illuminati might be engaging in shenanigans with Jay-Z’s money.

Who ever heard of the federal government investigating the governor of a state for funneling public money into the coffers of a wealthy businessman? I thought that was how wealthy businessmen got wealthy in the first place. For eight years, back during the aughts, the Vice President was a guy who was the CEO of the company that got all of the contracts to fuck up and then rebuild (but mostly just fuck up) Iraq, and I don’t recall there being any investigation into that. I think I even read somewhere that he still owned stock in it. Here in St. Louis they sold an entire area where black people used to live to some white guy for a sandwich and a song, and then they gave him a shedload of money to rebuild it, probably so he can sell it back to the same poor bastards he kicked out in the first place – at a premium, natch. If all lucrative government contracts went to people who could do the best job for the least amount of money, wouldn’t they all go to Mexicans and Indian people?

Anytime you hear about someone going down for some shit that’s ostensibly illegal, but you never hear about anyone going to jail for it, it’s because they ran afoul of the Illuminati. They must still be pissed at Elliot Spitzer for trying to prevent the banking system from getting as fucked the fuck up as it did, and Jay-Z must have gotten roped into it. You’ll recall that Elliot Spitzer got busted for frequenting an escort, who was said to have the best looking vagina of any woman evar (like a quivering pink rabbit nostril), even though, from what I understand, politicians stay dropping loads on escorts. It was all but officially stated that politicians were allowed to purchase some stank, and the Feds would look the other way, but he somehow still ended up getting caught. David Paterson was Elliot Spitzer’s right hand man. Spitzer probably hired him as an empty gesture to what’s left of New York’s black community. Yeah, he was next in line for the governor’s job, if the governor got busted frequenting hoo-ers, but that was only illegal in the sense that it’s against the law, and Paterson was known to frequent hoo-ers himself. Ascending to the governor’s job put him in the weird position of having to admit to purchasing some stank. But only back when he was on cocaine. (Whew!)

He must have realized that he had to beat the Illuminati to the punch, or else they were gonna try to pull the same shit on him that they pulled on Elliot Spitzer. They’ve obviously got it out for him. They must know good and well that, like that goofy black guy who took Rod Blagojevich’s job, and probably Obama himself, there’s no way he’s gonna serve any more than this current term, and yet they stay going after him. The New York Times, which gave up any notion of being a credible news organization right around the time when it was almost bought by a Mexican (which is understandable), has been trying to throw him under a bus for the past few weeks now, digging up dirt (old crimes!) on random black people he happens to know. As if any black person in this country is more than three degrees of separation from the most hardened of criminals. They must not even want him to get to the point where he’d lose his job the old fashioned way, because he’s blind, and he’s black, and he used to be on coke, and he’s a swinger(!), and he talks like this guy named Burt who used to go to a Hardees where I worked, so on and so forth. That’s how much they don’t want him around.

Which makes you wonder how Jay-Z could get involved in such an epic business deal with him. Shouldn’t someone at the Illuminati (which is like Merrill Lynch for shapeshifters) have given him a call and explained to him that Paterson was about to take a fall? Or was Jay-Z purposely being used as a pawn to entrap David Paterson? Hmm…

  • EReal

    Is that the same Hardees where that cracker pulled a sword n shit?

    • latino heat

      @ EReal, i’m glad someone else remembers the sword story. Bol, PLEASE repost that blog. that was probably your funniest work ever.

  • BReal

    Or was it the same Hardee’s where that nigger sold crack out of the bathroom n shit?

    • Lowedwn

      Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. I thought that was every Hardee’s?

      Patterson better study Clay Davis if he wants to get out of all this.

  • http://www.bboycult.com $yk!

    It’s election time, time to sling that dirt around.

    You’re on point about Spitzer though, but everyone will always remember the ho-es and not what he was doing concerning politics. Slander can be a powerful tool if used correctly…

  • latino heat

    * turns off computer, runs out of the house in search of a woman with a vag that looks like a “quivering pink rabbit nostril”. *

  • http://www.bboycult.com www.bboycult.com

    “like a quivering pink rabbit nostril”

    lol!

    i’ve seen that! well, kinda….

  • tommy gunz

    im too smart to be talented

  • Big Dick Cheney

    Good post, looks Hov is making big boy moves, he’s a BUSINESS man!!!

  • caino

    ‘You’ll recall that Elliot Spitzer got busted for frequenting an escort, who was said to have the best looking vagina of any woman evar (like a quivering pink rabbit nostril),’

    Best quote in 2010

  • foolio_iglesias

    Dude.You just came up with the name for my band.Awesome!

  • RAWshad

    ‘You’ll recall that Elliot Spitzer got busted for frequenting an escort, who was said to have the best looking vagina of any woman evar (like a quivering pink rabbit nostril),’

    Funny… ASS… Shit… lolol

  • http://www.myspace.com/doinalright ROX ONE

    “”Who ever heard of the federal government investigating the governor of a state for funneling public money into the coffers of a wealthy businessman?”"

    The federal government was all over that shit because the deal involved the NY Racing Association and the controversial plan to put slots in Aqueduct… It was a burning red flag with a bullhorn screaming “corruption” regardless of who was involved.

    The NYRA…only bookies in history to lose money….