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Never trust a black man in a fez

During Kwanzaa, I ran a post on my own site about how the hype re: Jay Electronica might be orchestrated by the TIs, and can you believe not one but several douchebags responded by pointing out that Jay Electronica has been dealing with Diddy for a while now, not just recently?

As if I hadn’t been aware of that, and as if that at all proves that this current state of Jay Electronica uber alles is a wholly organic phenomenon. If anything, that only further proves my point!

Not that it matters if the TIs issued an order for seemingly every hip-hop-related media outlet there ever was to pretend as if “Exhibit C” is the new best song evar, replacing “In the Mouth a Desert” by Pavement, and for radio stations to put it into heavy rotation, as if it was some shitty southern rap song. I happen to like “Exhibit C.” Every now and again the TIs will come up with something that fits right in my wheelhouse. For example, how come no one told me that the issue of Esquire that includes the hilarious feature of Jay-Z’s business ventures, as mentioned in yesterday’s post, as well as the hilarious (and arguably accurate) quote from Rod Blagojevich in which claims to be blacker than Barack Obama, because he used to shine shoes and live in a five-room apartment (I’m so not making this up), also features, on its cover, perhaps the hottest picture of Blake Lively evar? Probably because Blake Lively isn’t necessarily the kind of white chick who would appeal to this site’s readership. Though I’ve been saying for years now that XXL should take a chance on a more conventionally attractive woman in its Eye Candy section. You never know…

But I digress. Now, where was I? Ah yes, Jay Electronica, possible murketing scheme.

It’d be one thing if “Exhibit C” just became an Internets sensation, a la Freddie Gibbs, Wale circa that Seinfeld mixtape, and any number of other questionable rap blog obsessions. But I started to suspect something might be rotten in the state of Denmark when some guy from Hot 97 wrote a blog post about how he could make “Exhibit C” the song of the week or some such, if he wanted to. Then the next thing you know, he did make “Exhibit C” the song of the week, supposedly due to overwhelming demand from people on the Internets. Who ever heard of some shit like that? I heard they don’t even play Wale on the radio in Washington, DC. #fail

I’ve been to New York enough times to know what the radio is like there, especially Hot 97. Hot 97 was playing the same five songs in a row back before it was all trendy. And more often than not they aren’t even rap songs – they’re R&B songs and reggae shit one ever heard of out here in the flyover states. True story: It could very well be the case that a reggae song has never come on a rap station here in the Midwest. I know I don’t recall hearing one. Don’t be jealous! And we know for a fact that Hot 97 DJs accept payola. I’d already suspected as much, but Funkmaster Flex all but admitted to it, during an episode of MTV Cribs, back in like 2005. He probably thought I forgot.

Then there’s the fact that Jay Electronica seems to have so many famous friends. He supposedly wrote some rhymes for Diddy’s long-delayed techno album, Last Train to Paris, which the TIs must have deemed too bad to release. He’s got a baby by Erykah Badu, which makes him, Andre 3000, the DOC, Common, both guys from dead prez, and god knows how many other people practically related. But I’m actually more concerned with his relationship with Just Blaze. Namely, why would Just Blaze just up and give him the best beat he’s come up with since “Breathe” by Fabolous, if not evar, when he could have just as easily sold it to Jay-Z for a shedload of money? Could it be that someone did pay him a shedload of money to give it to Jay Electronica?

We know Just Blaze could use the money. Recently, I read in an interview somewhere where he said he had to close his studio. Let me guess: he finally ran out of money from back when he was coming up with good ideas on a regular basis. Jay-Z didn’t even bother to have him produce anything on the Blueprint 3, and the one beat he had on American Gangster was left over from when I was in college. Jay must still be pissed at those shitty beats he made for Kingdom Come. “Show Me What You Got” was such a bad idea that Double-O from Kidz in the Hall also came up with it. Zing! The only other recent work of his I can think is his work with Saigon, and obviously that didn’t set the world on fire.

If only people from the Internets had thought to call Hot 97. I might call the rap station here in St. Louis and see if I can’t get “Alligator” by Tegan and Sara put into heavy rotation. Apparently, that’s how things work now.

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