Kid Cudi as Mr. Solo Bolo

I grew more and more confused with each passing moment after seeing footage of Kid Cudi going Ron Artest on some fan at a Vancouver show this past weekend. What did Cudi think, that this episode of contrived niggerishness was going to get him some stripes or some shit?

After seeing the XXL coverage I realized that the scenario is about 5 times dumber than I initially thought.

You can see the gears turning in Cudi’s head as he decides how to best handle the life and manhood-threatening situation of the stray wallet that makes its way onto the stage. First, Cudi tries to defuse the situation by relaxing and handing the wallet back a first time. But then the wallet lands on stage a SECOND time! Holy fuck! I don’t know about you people, but Cudi does what any man would have to. Gotta to defend yourself from those rowdy Palace fans by daintily floating into the crowd and letting a couple of lovetaps go.

Ha.

Speaking of Detriot, this fancy Cudder negro knew exactly where he was. Granted, you should never sleep on your environment or think shit is sweet. But, let’s be real. Vancouver is no Detroit or Chicago or New York or some shit. It’s not even a Toronto. And, unless he has the world’s most severe faux leather allergy, Cudi was not in any danger. He just knew he was in some Vancouver scenester spot and could get away with a few windmill sissy slaps over the fence.

[Blogger’s Note: You know how beef is good for music economy. When Bourne said that war is the health of the state, he was totally referring to inevitable rap beefs and American Apparel niggas keeping shit extra real.]

There are no props to be had for punching some scenester in the face, especially the wrong scenester. That’s what them niggas in the “security” shirts is for. Ask Chopper Suit. He plays Applebee’s regularly. If someone tosses a frozen margarita or some stray french fries at you, point him out to security. Clearly Cudi had enough of an [incorrect] inclination as to who the culprit was whereas he could tell that new joke that’s been going around. You know, the one about what the five fingers said to the cheekbone, or some shit. He should have directed that misinformation to the proper public house authorities.

Meanwhile, the fan isn’t pressing charges. I first thought the fan wasn’t doing so because he grew up in a place where it’s not a matter of international concern every time someone so much as breathes on another nigga. Though, I’m probably giving the little scenester too much credit. The nigga was a paying customer at a Kid Cudi show whose only request for reparation is a chance to meet Cudi–probably to get another look at that cotton-soft left jab. Smart money says he’s all like, “I’m not pressing charges or anything. I’m just totally fucking stoked that Kid Cudi touched me. That’s pretty fucking sweet, hey? I’m not gay or anything, I—I just think it’s cool. That’s all. I mean, how many people can say Kid Cudi touched them in any way? You know? I mean, his music touches everyone. But like, touching touching is something else, hey?”

You know Cudi is gonna cry on his blog about this, right?

Questions? Comments? Requests? Would have done the same with your simple as… ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • BEEZIE!

    Gotta get that buzz going for that next album, right?

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    “Cudi, ay? Aboot this wee bruise, can ya awtagraph it, ay?

    Okay, maybe that was more scottish, but you smell my cologne.

    Between Cudder & Charles Hamilton, we need to be @ DEFCON 4 for these emo-thugs. Him & Kanye are probably smoking clove cigs, bumping Coldplay with the footage on repeat, fist-bumping each other. Pause.

    What’s next, heterosexual Ambercrombie & Fitch models?

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Mex, how come you didn’t throw my city in with your list of socially inept, morally challenged metropoli?

      Just because Los Angeles is over wrought with sexually confused teenagers & Black scream-o thugs doesn’t mean we don’t get gully with the rest of them.

      Although, “hardbody” out here does have a different definition than anywhere else.

      Oy vey…

  • P. Harris

    “I was oot and aboot at the concert, eh?”

    “eh?”

    “then the fellow joomps down and knooks me in my chin, eh?”

    “Eh?, Wud ya du?”

    “noothin, I wanna meet em…”

  • MidWest Grindin

    lol @ Grands…that was funny shit!
    Even though this nigga from my city, i cannot co-sign this soft nigga. He makes ok music, but the nigga has always been somewhat of a lame…at least, that’s according to a couple dudes i know that went to school with him. Dont know him personally, tho…he from out in the suburbs.

  • BEEZIE!

    eat a dick

  • Kiswana Browne

    Cornballs. All of ‘em. On another note, I don’t know if it’s the scuba gear, camera angle, or what but his head is looking extra large in that clip. He looks so tiny. Are any of these fools over 5’4” & 120 lbs?

  • AZ40

    I was wonderin’ why them niggas ain’t do nothin’ they was in Canada, I was like real niggas woulda beat him down

  • Enlightened

    That nigga better be lucky the Mounties up there didn’t make an example out his ass.

    Most of us don’t know that Canada is way more hard on niggas as far as race relations.

    TRUE STORY: My cousin was hoopin’ in a pro basketball league up there. And one day after his homeboy left some Canadian broad’s apartment (white broad), the police showed up, knocked on the girl door and was on some shit like:
    “Who was that?”
    “How do you know him?”
    “What is the nature of your relationship?”

    Real talk. He would have been sick if they threw his ass in a cell behind that shit.

    • Enlightened

      Ok. I’m back. I commented before I actually saw the shit.
      Now that I saw the shit….

      What the fuck was that? He jumped out in the crowd and played patty cake with somebody??

  • Chilly Willy

    Yo, Mex !

    That’s gotta be “eh” instead of “hey”. But I think the real reason behind that scenester pressing no charges is that, though Vancouver ain’t no Detroit or Chicago, the grassroots scene in Vancouver is serious. Those dudes are baked the fuck up on the regular, and the shit is so strong that Snoop is the only real competition. That nigga must be on some “Oh shit, the man from the moon landed on my face, eh! How sweet is that ? I’d like to shake his cottonelle-soft cuticles or some shit.”

    “American Apparel niggas keeping shit extra real.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^
    That shit had me rollin. Remember them Native Tongue niggas way back, self-righteous, stylish and shit. They’d stomp the shit outta anyone, they don’t play, no I’ll shoot yo ass bullshit, they fucked people up on site back then. So this don’t surprise me a bit.

  • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks

    “Granted, you should never sleep on your environment or think shit is sweet. But, let’s be real. Vancouver is no Detroit or Chicago or New York or some shit. It’s not even a Toronto.”

    hahaha, Mex killin’ em again! Seriously though, shit is not thug. Even Akon picked a mofo up and bodyslammed him.

  • BIGNAT

    ron ron has done it again you need to be a comedian go write over at snl or something.
    “He just knew he was in some Vancouver scenester spot and could get away with a few windmill sissy slaps over the fence.” when my nephew was 3 he could punch harder than that what the fuck was that. also you guys gotta stop talking shit about vancouver them guys might they feelings hurt up there. next time a rapper come up there they might get rowdy and toss maple syrup at him lol.
    heh you can at least give cudi a little bit of props. at least he threw a couple pussy slaps. when wanye got hit with that bottle he just left the show to go cry in babies arm. (sniff sniff) they threw a bottle at me daddy.

  • rocstar

    it has nothing to do with vancouver, cuz i woulda slapped the shit outta him. but if a guy is at a lady gaga and kid cudi show, then obviously its a safer crowd.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      fair enough. as i mentioned, there’s “the element” everywhere. and it’s less likely to emerge at a kid cudi show, as his crowd tends to lend itself to being able to behave that way without consequence.

  • Brooklyn

    shit, vancouver ain’t even montreal, and montreal’s got all that parle vous french shit going on. how the fuck do you let a nigga like kid cudi snuff you? that nigga’s mad homotional, if homes woulda knocked his fitted off cudi woulda sat on stage and cried. so, if this motherfucker will let kid cudi punch him in the face, i shudder to think what he’d let his fellow canuck drake do.

  • what

    What kind of hard motherfuckers go to a Cudi concert in the first place?? Vancitys no shitty American rat infested fuck hole like the ones you all live in, but we get our share of shootings and stabbings in the nightclub scene. I definitely think 99% of you losers talking smack would change your tune if you came here with that shit.

    G’day eh.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      1. i’ve been to vancouver many times.
      2. that shooting/stabbing in the club shit is nothing to be proud of, and is far from the point.

      3. i realize the error of making this a vancouver issue when it’s a cudi audience issue, but, see #1 and #2. this doesn’t change the fact that your city is not rugged like that. those rat infested shitholes create real sociopaths.

      let’s say for the sake of argument that your point is relevant and 100% accurate. then, a beautiful city that still has nuff thuggery is a true societal failure. y’all got a lot of pretend thugs out there. those are the most dangerous kind. the kid who grew up with everything, but listened to too much pac and got it all fucked up is far more terrifying. i’m wayyyy more scared of him. he’ll actually shoot someone or stab someone for no reason.

      and you people really do say “hey”/”eh” at the end of everything.

  • gift

    “Ask Chopper Suit. He plays Applebee’s regularly. If someone tosses a frozen margarita or some stray french fries at you, point him out to security”

    LMFAO!!!!!!!MEX U dumb as hell

  • MaxDowski

    Some fun facts about Canadian crime for Ron Mexico’s info, this was a Lady Gaga concert in an arena with heavy security, so Cudder was safe in any city….that doesn’t have a gay mafia?:

    -Vancouver has the 5th highest murder rate in Canada. Toronto is 8th, Montreal is 22nd. Half of the top ten is made up of Vancouver suburbs and cities within a couple hours of Vancouver.

    -Vancouver has teh 8th highest crime rate, Toronto and Montreal don’t crack the top 20.

    -The most dangerous city in Canada is Saskatoon Saskatchewan. Real talk.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      thank you for those… and i am aware. stay out of surrey if you don’t know anybody. i know what’s up.

      and when i speak of toronto, i’m talking about my fellow jamaican bumbaclots who don’t know how the fuck to act.

  • geico lizard

    roffle, this is another classic Ron.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    canadians… do understand that the vancouver jabs are for added comedic effect.

    niggas gettin all butthurt, and in turn, ignorant.

    MY CITY HARD, MAYNE! stop it. that shit ain’t nothing to be proud of. you don’t want to be like these “american shitholes” no matter how cool you think the rappers they produce are.

    • what

      Trust, Ron, no one is proud of the shit that is going down in Vancity, but the reality is what it is. It has nothing to do with posers acting hard, and everything to do with your governments moronic laws on drugs and guns.

      Most of our drugs and guns are coming across the border, and the more that happens the more our beautiful city is starting to look like those “american shitholes” you all love to be proud of.

      You want real, go downtown Hasting on a Wednesday night, I fucking double dare you. There is more crack and AIDS around that 5 block radius than anywhere else in North America (this is fact, look it up).

      • BIGNAT

        crack and aids “CRAIDS” AND WHY WOULD YOU GO DOWN WEDNESDAY NIGHT IS THAT WHEN THEY FEED THE ANIMALS? I find it very funny that it seems you are very proud. that those 5 blocks have more crack and aids than anywhere else in north america.

        • what

          Nah I’m just letting ppl know what’s up. Nothing to be proud of really that shit is real sad if you ever drive by there. Everyone used to say you could get aids if your windows were rolled down.

          oh and Wednesday is welfare day.

    • chillin mayne

      ron…you sayin what i been tryna tell people for years…dudes always braggin bout how hard they city is, how many more people die in they hood..im like, “wow, thats nothin to be proud of…at all”…cats are delusional these days, im glad u got ur mind in the right place though….regardless, that fan is a lame son, how in the hell.. jajajajaja, that last paragraph clownin that fan was hilarious…damn, people dont have brains these days

  • yeah man

    Everything weh gwan a foreign, the yardee get the blame! LOL

  • http://www.mindofq.com Q-Bot

    If I were that fan I’d probably use the meet-and-greet opportunity to push some of my albums on him.

  • http://iocdisbarment.blogspot.com Selma Stewart

    Haha I am literally the first comment to this great read?!?