Eminem’s dagger goes dull (nullus)

I understand a TI’s thought process to well to think that there would be all of these stories on MTV News about Eminem calling Adam Lambert a fag, if the TIs didn’t want there to be.

Keep in mind, this is the same MTV News that’s run at least one story a day on 50 Cent since 2003, but didn’t have anything to say about him taking Rick Ross’ kids to Floyd Mayweather’s house – the best thing 50 Cent has done since “Wanksta.” I don’t know if they just hire people with a peasant mentality, or if there are actual directives, but obviously shenanigans are at play. In this case, the TIs want Eminem to beef with the teh ghey community, to generate interest in Relapse 2.

I guess they figured it worked so well the first time around. I read just now that Eminem sold more albums this decade than anyone, including Elvis and the Beatles combined, and even Buhweet. There’s a news item on it on this site today. Elsewhere in my Google Reader there was an actual list of the top 10 best-selling albums this decade. The Beatles are #1, having sold over 11 million copies of the Beatles 1, or whatever it’s called, but Eminem had two albums in the top 5 – 2000′s the Marshall Mathers LP, and 2002′s the Eminem Show.

Those two albums coincided with Eminem’s beef with the teh ghey community. On “Criminal,” from the Marshall Mathers LP, Em compared his words to a dagger with a jagged edge, that will stab you in the head whether you’re a fag or lez. Obviously, he wasn’t threatening to stab any teh ghey people in the head, but you know how fruits like to pretend as if they don’t know how figurative language works, just to prove a point. Case in point, Moby, who came out against Eminem at the time. So on the Eminem Show Em called him a 36 year-old baldhead fag. To think, calling someone 36 was once an insult in hip-hop. Em himself is now 37.

The best was when fruits actually held a protest – or as Eli Porter would call it, a gay parade – outside the Grammys, where Em was nominated for a gang of awards for the Marshall Mathers LP. Then he brought out Elton John to sing the Dido part on “Stan.” What a surreal moment. I remember downloading the audio of it from Napster and cranking it on my old Compaq. Ah, the 2000s. Nullus. I was in college at the time, and I remember a teh ghey professor held a special meeting re: the Marshall Mathers LP, part of which included a conference call with his college “roommate,” Mike Elizondo, who played bass on the album. He told Elizondo to describe the recording of “Criminal,” and Elizondo described how Dre would force them to play the song over and over again, to make the keyboards more evil-sounding. He made it sound as if Dre was the real mastermind behind that song, offensive lyrics and all.

If only generating that level of controversy was still just a matter of a white rapper calling someone a fag. It’s been a while since I listened to it, even though I did enjoy it, but I seem to recall Relapse being way more offensive than the Marshall Mathers LP, paricularly with regard to homophobia. There was even that thing where Em let Sacha Baron Cohen teabag him at the MTV Movie Awards. But no one seemed to give a shit. Maybe if Em had beaten the crap out of Sacha Baron Cohen. Or at least pretended to. You know someone would have accused him of committing a hate crime, just because he beat the crap out of a guy for teabagging him. Then someone would have taken the time to listen to Relapse, noticed the homophobic content, and it would have been just like old times.

The thing is, that would have taken more effort than Eminem is willing to put forth these days. After all, the guy lives in a house with a motherfucking elevator, and not just because his respiratory problems make it difficult for him to climb the stairs. (Oh, right, that was the drugs…) Who gives a shit if Relapse sells one million copies, or two? Similarly, Em didn’t go so far as to actually call Adam Lambert a fag on “Elevator,” the song about how he lives in a house that has an elevator. It just kinda sounds like it, the way he spits the word “fake” at the end of one line, and the word “it” at the beginning of the next line. I’m assuming this was on purpose, because he knew they’d be sending out a press release this time. His handlers must have seen the controversy re: Adam Lambert kissing guys, feigning fellatio and what have you at the American Music Awards and figured this was their moment.

For all we know, there might not have been this stopgap EP release between Relapse and Relapse 2 otherwise. Since when has releasing a rap ever been a good idea, commercially? Remember when Lil Wayne had to put out that EP this time a couple of years ago? Tha Carter III sold a million copies its first week out. The Leak did Wale numbers, back before there was a such thing as Wale numbers. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Refill does the same, especially since something like half of it is already posted here in the Bangers section. If only Em had actually done something offensive.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    There’s no doubting Em’s popularity. White skin + trailer park-esque problems + Black culture = worldwide phenomenon. He just doesn’t move me much nowadays. Maybe if it wasn’t copious amounts of “shock” lyrics, like when he first came out-I mean blow up.

    Him kicking Sasha’s ass should’ve been part of the script. They could’ve milked that shit. Bol, you may be the only person who knows what I’m talking about, but does anybody remember when Andy Kaufman went on WWF, as a publicity stunt, & let the wrestler beat the fuck out of him?

    • latino heat

      @ Grands

      i know exactly what your talking about. technically it wasn’t the WWF though, but yeah he did start wrestling as a publicity stunt and that shit drug out for some time. it was years before my time but as a long time wrestling fan i’ve read up on the incident.

      another thing that isn’t gonna help Refill sell is the fact that it leaked last Saturday, Dec. 5th. and it dosen’t hit stores until Dec. 21st.

      i agree with everyone that says Eminem wastes too much time battling pop stars. i’ve been saying that since he first came out and was the reason i didn’t really start listening to him or taking him seriously until the Eminem Show album came out. i really hope he gives that shit up when Relapse 2 finally drops. then again that’s like asking Game to stop name dropping on every line.

      • Jake Steed

        haha jerry the king lawler “beat” him down

  • Brahsef

    Em’s lyrics now sound like he’s tryin too hard. They’re prolly more shockin than back in the Marshall Matters LP days, but they don’t seem nearly as honest. And he’s almost 40 now, like when do you grow up?

  • sealsaa

    ^On the contrary. I think he’s being lazy. The man needs to switch up his format. I’ve had enough of the angry white-boy angst and the stale pop-culture references. And those Mariah Carey shots only made him look foolish(as if her fanbase gives two shits about what he has to say about her). I’ve never understood why, despite being considered top 5 in many circles, he chooses to waste his time fucking with pop stars and gay guys.

  • sealsaa

    ^I can’t imagine Nas making a song about how he once banged Mary J. Blige and taking pot-shots at her and her new husband.

  • tommy gunz

    marshall matters/mathers?

    anyway..

    hell breaks loose is fire

    • Brownie

      Co-sign gunzz.
      that beat from Dre is fuckin sickkk!

  • tommy gunz

    yea..

    marshall matters

  • Jhon da Analyst

    @Tony Grand$$

    Just to let you know I went by your blogspot and the reference you had for too close for comfort (no Monroe) had me rollin. I’m sure that went over a lot of ppls heads. Monroe was a totally fool on that show!!! JM J Bullock

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      ^^Hah! I can’t get that damn theme song out of my head…

  • Jhon da Analyst

    I remember they were in San Fran on that show. I think Monroe was a little bit ya know…..@Grand

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      ^^I heard on more than one occasion that the main dude, Ted Knight, was a bit of a sack jockey himself.

  • Grimey G

    “you know how fruits like to pretend as if they don’t know how figurative language works, just to prove a point”

    So true. Most gay people, and Gay rights organizations in particular can’t seem to accept that people use the words “fag” and “faggot” to refer to somebody as a bitch or a pussy. If any famous person (besides black rappers) use those words then they are villified in the press. They can’t accept that those words have now taken on a double meaning.

  • nicholasdelorejo

    The problem that Em is having now is those weird and wacky songs like “elevator” have no relevance to himself and the concerns of the fans. Before groups like Nysnc, Backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears were worshipped slobbed over by tween girls everywhere. So much so that people so that boys and people that disliked them were eager to have anyone to diss them. When Em did it people loved him for it and Em stated his reason for doing it was that he didn’t want to be seen as a pop star as them. Now when he came back and went at Clay Akien and Adam Lambart, people are not only predicted Em to go there but found it unamusing. Many people probably have expressed there homophobia to those artists on blogs or whatever and could frankly give a shit if another rapper makes a song about it. Why the fuck would they listen to and purchase music from a rapper that bashes gays when they can openly bash them on the net while listening to some shit that they like?

  • nicholasdelorejo

    Also this goes to show that rappers need to reinvent themselves as they get older. Say what you want about Jay and his new style now but its still more refreshing than listening constantly listening to the style he had in his Reasonable Doubt and Vol. series days. Em is 37 and he still rapping in the same fomate as he did in the Slim Shady LP. As your early fans grow you as an artist should grow as well.

  • allhiphop>xxlmag

    Its fuckin called Relapse!
    that means hes going back to his old ways
    refill will sell regardless for just being an eminem album and probably push relapse to 3 milli
    hes still on top of his game, you just got used to the south while he was gone

    • Brownie

      Tru-say allhiphop.
      Must be because he aint got that southside slurrrrr

  • AK

    “Most gay people, and Gay rights organizations in particular can’t seem to accept that people use the words “fag” and “faggot” to refer to somebody as a bitch or a pussy.”

    Am I the only one who found this to be unintentionally hilarious?

    Anyhow, Em has always been the sort of rapper who needs something to push back against. Doesn’t matter what, it just needs to be something – that Mariah Carey diss track that came out after Relapse was far sharper than anything on the CD itself. Success doesn’t sit right on him. The controversy is gone – he can’t even be shocking anymore because it’s expected.

    • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks

      ““Most gay people, and Gay rights organizations in particular can’t seem to accept that people use the words “fag” and “faggot” to refer to somebody as a bitch or a pussy.”

      Am I the only one who found this to be unintentionally hilarious?”

      No, you’re not. And thank you for pointing it out… shit is accidental gold.

  • that nigga

    but didn’t have anything to say about him taking Rick Ross’ kids to Floyd Mayweather’s house – the best thing 50 Cent has done since “Wanksta.”
    :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    HHAHAHAHAHAAH! You aint neva lied, Bol.

  • Brooklyn

    i’ve been saying this about em for a minute, he kinda came into the game on a gimmick and he’s been playing that for about a decade now, it’s getting really tired. and beefing with mariah carey because she won’t admit that she fucked you seven years ago? that’s just a sad cry for attention.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    good read. i feel Ems evolving the way he should…sticking to the script. his lyrics r as sharp as ever even though the subject matter doesn’t hold my intrest like when the MM Lp dropped.
    em pointed this out on the Em Show where he said something to the effect that: his lyrics dont shock anymore were used to it. its true.
    the shorties luv Em and i aint mad at them.
    Em dissing Mariah and calling out fags and the Bruno fuckery is part of his act the way gansta rappper pop fake guns at the age of 36 and beyond.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    we should be clowning Wale for watering down who he is to release a stale cold TI calculated pop slop album.

    lets not forget this is entertainment and for that Ems doing his job. im glad Canibus dissed him..I think Em should go in on a battle with the big boys.
    Canibus vs Em is classic on paper. Bis had the right to call out Em anything goes. sneak attack bomb first. hey Em does it to whoever bout time someone heavy got in his ass. Canibus should have went in solo…those other guy as legitimate as their argument is have no skill or rank to call out Em. that weakened a potential classic battle.

  • BIGNAT

    “The Leak did Wale numbers, back before there was a such thing as Wale numbers.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    “that Mariah Carey diss track that came out after Relapse was far sharper than anything on the CD itself…”

    ^^^ This

    regardless of how trivial the masses look at the action(which I totally think was personal), he rapped in HIS voice, with INTENSITY, and was killing that Dre beat.

    Think about it. He THREW AWAY a DRE BEAT for that chick. It could’ve went to BISD(ha!).

    Listen to Warning. Then listen to Bagpipes.

    I don’t need a Refill.

  • dre10

    lets not forget this is entertainment and for that Ems doing his job. im glad Canibus dissed him..I think Em should go in on a battle with the big boys.
    Canibus vs Em is classic on paper. Bis had the right to call out Em anything goes. sneak attack bomb first. hey Em does it to whoever bout time someone heavy got in his ass. Canibus should have went in solo…those other guy as legitimate as their argument is have no skill or rank to call out Em. that weakened a potential classic battle.

    They have already went at it before with Em destroying him. Theres no need for him to waste his time doing it again even though I would love to see him do it again. Beefing brings out the best in Em. He shoulda went at Ross’s fat ass when he was talkin shit.

  • sealsaa

    I look at it the opposite way $yk. Its insane that, with all of his talent(I still don’t believe he’s shown what he could REALLY do, with some fire production), he chooses to waste his time crying about the blue balls he suffered courtesy of Mariah. Her fans could give a shit, and I doubt that very many of his fans do either.

    ” The controversy is gone – he can’t even be shocking anymore because it’s expected.”

    ^Co-sign. THIS is why he needs to switch up his format. He’s gotten stale and predictable. First the drug/sex references on his album, now he’s taking pot-shots at Mariah. Next, he’ll be telling you how much he hates his mother(shocker).

  • capcobra

    eminem missing proof….even the stage show sucks now…and the funniest shit about the mariah beef is her saying some shit like nobody even mentions his name in the A…maybe he’ll join slaughterhouse or sign bubba sparxx.

  • sealsaa

    I’d love to see a Black Star-esque colab between Em and Elzhi. With the right production(Black Milk, Hi-tek, Large Pro), that shit would be fires.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      @seal

      Good ass point. A collaboration with a number of upper echalon lyricists would probably pique people interest again. It would give him a chance to get outside of his comfort zone, which seems to be most people’s complaint.

      This would (seem to) be the ideal time to link with Royce. Royce is nice right now, & they already have good working chemistry. Primo, Royce & Em? That would be a major album. Or the collab you suggested. Just as long as it would cause a shift in gears, so to speak. It’s not like he can’t literally afford to venture outside his box at this point.

      Not to beat a dead horse (no pun intended), but if Proof was still alive, we’d be talking about a whole different Eminem, in a good way.

  • caino

    Since Proof died l think he has given up the ghost , he doesnt have the intensity anymore!

    l’m alittle bored with Em now, tho his verse at the BET cipher was excellent. But maybe cos l aint 19 anymore, so those drug, hate my mum, and Pop star references dont cut it for me !

  • eesco

    Everyone keeps saying that Em needs to reinvent himself but honesly what do u see him becoming. When he first came out (i’m talking before the slim shady LP) his rap style was a lot like nas. He was on some introspective, intellectual shit. Nobody f***ed with him and then he switched up and started that shady i’m a crazy ass white boy shit and people ate it up. It didnt hurt that he was also the first person endorsed by Dre in a looooong time (see also 50 cents fleeting fame monster). So he like so many other artist even actors that fall into a mold and are type cast (Will ferrel, 50 cent, even f***ing Fez from that 70′s show, and dont act like watching anything else he’s done u werent waiting 4 him to say “I’d Said Good Day Sir”) we complain about them doing the same old same old but u really wouldnt wanna see them do something else. I mean I like 50 cent but that nigga would sound mad weird doing hipster rap music. So what do we really want/expect of Em. I mean if he didnt rap about crazy white boy shit then I dont think he would get that commercial appeal anymore although he would probably be dope if he switch it up a little more.

  • http://xxlmag.com Cal

    I’m disappointed that people think these Refill tracks are recent or pretty much are a sign of where he’s going creatively. Their throwaway tracks from late 08-early 09 and mean absolutely nothing. I’m mad the TI’s are forcing this shit out when he’s been on fucking point ever since “the warning”.

    His complex mag interview was pretty damn good in that he touches on everything we’re talking about: he regrets putting out “we made you”(as he should), he’s done doing experimental type shit i.e anything that sounds like Relapse or Refill. I mean dude’s not even using the alvin and the chipmunks voice anymore so you can tell his people are telling him what he should and what he shouldn’t do.