About once a month, Julia Beverly is accused of shady editorial practices at Ozone magazine, or sexual impropriety with a rapper, or running an awards show that makes the mid ’90s-era Source Awards look like a Star Trek convention.
I always try to come to her defense, because I figure one of these days the two of us might get together. My goal in life is to one day be famous enough to take advantage of Ozone’s alleged head for interviews policy – even though I’d argue that I’m just as famous, if not more so, than at least some of the people who’ve been on the cover of Ozone. It could be that I’m not famous enough amongst people in the areas where Ozone is most popular. And I’m at a loss for how I can become any more popular in places where people can’t read well. It’s not like I can do anything other than write. Otherwise, why would I be here? I might need to see about a career as one of those DJs who don’t really DJ. I don’t look altogether different from that guy Don Cannon, who used to work with DJ Drama, until Drama got caught bootlegging people’s shit (which may or may not fund terrorism) and had to cut back on his expenses. Now Cannon is taking money to cosign the likes of Asher Roth. However, he does deserve credit for having the sheer balls to post “fuck Jay-Z” on Twitter. People have lost jobs for less. I guess he figured he was already out of a job.
Coming to my boo Julia Beverly’s defense is like a full-time job in itself. In the past month, there’s been a couple of instances in which people have hit me up to inform me that she’s been accused of something or other – and I don’t even think they bothered to have an Ozone Awards this year. It’s one of those things that managed to disappear without anyone noticing, like XXL’s Freshman 10 issue. The difference being, southern rap doesn’t seem any less popular than it did in ’08, what with the likes of Gucci Mane, and OJ da Juice Man, and Wacka Flocka, and Nicki Minaj making it that much more difficult for me to open up Google Reader in the morning, except for the potential lulz. A lot of the more established southern rappers are either in jail or headed off to jail. But as I recall, the Ozone Awards relied more on b- and c-list southern rappers anyway – people I’d hardly even know, except for that couple of years I spent working with the late, great Noz. Trae the Truth couldn’t possibly be doing anything other than sitting at home jerking off to that video he put our with that CMT-fine Canadian broad. (Nullus.) Nah, Julia Beverly must not have been able to find a venue willing to host this year’s show. Potential business partners must have consulted the Google and decided to cut their losses. Was this a wise decision, or does Julia Beverly get a bad rap on some ol’ bullshit?
Take for example the most recent alleged fuckery involving Julia Beverly, which hit my inbox last night while I was undergoing my evening therapy session. Some guy from some blog has a lengthy post detailing how Julia Beverly tried to sell him a verse from Lil Boosie, via Twitter. I guess she has a side hustle involving selling verses from more established rappers, to bum MySpace rappers. Why in the world Lil Boosie couldn’t just sell his own verses via Twitter is beyond me. But I’ll guess anyway: Lil Boosie, a functional illiterate, must not know how to use Twitter. He logs onto the site, sees the seemingly endless stream of updates from people he doesn’t even know, which he couldn’t read even if he did, gets scared and calls the one white person he knows. Is it any wonder he recently had his two year sentence extended to a four year sentence, for violating the terms of his probation? Did anyone from the label bother reading it to him out loud? If only I knew any kids who can’t read get, and yet have the ability to generate a ridonkulous income. I wouldn’t have to blog for a living.
Voracious reader that I am, this blog with the latest post on Julia Beverly was familiar to me as the blog that had a good post on the Hamiltization Process, the minor Internets scandal where Charles Hamilton gave the Smoking Section a mixtape to post as an exclusive, then turned around and decided to give it to ThisIs50.com instead. In retrospect, this was the kerfuffle that ultimately led to Charles Hamilton, no longer signed to a major label, seriously contemplating posing for a picture with a coffee can that said J Dilla. I read this post on Julia Beverly acting as Lil Boosie’s Twitter operator expecting a similar level of fuckery to be revealed, but it wasn’t. Essentially, Julia Beverly didn’t have any clearance from Wonder Brothers to be selling Lil Boosie verses to bum-ass MySpace rappers, but when the guy claimed to be willing to spend $30,000 for one (I know), she suggested he might be able to. Then the guy called her a fraud, and that was the end of that.
As far as I’m concerned, that hardly constitutes fraud. She probably figured that, for $30,000, she could pay off someone at the label for the clearance, or play with his balls or something, and net the difference between what Lil Boosie wanted for the verse in the first place. I’d have to check with my new colleague, Combat Jack, before I could say that definitely doesn’t constitute fraud, but I’m assuming it doesn’t. You guys know I was pre-med. Anyway, what it comes down to is this: If this guy could get a verse from Lil Boosie, with label clearance, for less than what she was offering, why would he have bothered with her in the first place? Leave my fantasy girlfriend alone, or risk being insulted on the Internets.