Fiend for My Fiend…

As you may already know, DMX has dropped out of this coming December’s Alabama Pride MMA event we’ve been cracking on for a while now. I was just about to let out a sigh of relief until I found out Coolio replaced DMX in the upcoming debacle. Clearly this event requires at least one dope fiend participant.

Thunder Promotions must really have a formula in place here. DMX wisely dropped out, as the company refused to “ensure his safety” or script a DMX victory. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that there’s never a fix in place during MMA events, but X probably had this shit confused with WWE. I bet this nigga was wondering why Vince McMahon hadn’t talked to him about contract and dressing room requirements.

Thankfully, DMX drops out in a haze of confusion as large as the one surrounding his entry. However, as abruptly as the Dark Man exits the scene, Coolio enters. I wonder if Coolio had his eye on this shit from day one. I wouldn’t be surprised if Coolio was the one who talked X out of participating. I saw Gang Warz on cable. Only 2 things can stop Coolio’s diabolical manipulation: Chino XL and a delayed shipment from Tijuana.

As you all know, I’m opposed to bumfights. But, I can’t lie about there being a moderate interest brewing regarding the outcome of a Coolio MMA contest. This bout boasts an amphetamine guarantee. Coolio’s not only going to sniff and/or smoke some cocaine before the match. He’s going to dip his hands in a bowl of it, splash it around and toss a handful into the air like LeBron James. Who wouldn’t want to see that shit forever, babe?

I don’t know why anyone would pay for a ticket to watch this event, though. Because Coolio is involved, you can rest assured the match will be available in its entirety on one of his many straight-to-Ewe Toube reality programs. I just hope Coolio comes out in his pirate outfit.

Hopefully this turn of events means DMX is re-evaluating his life and path. Though, I’d put a few dollars on DMX waiting by the phone for a call from Vince McMahon to this very day. As you know, money aside, X would love nothing more than to go a good 12 minutes in a cage match with The Rock.

Questions? Comments? Requests? I got two words for you… ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: My apologies for former No Limit rapper, Fiend. Your namesake truly deserves better.

P.P.S.: What the fuck?! Is this incarceration week or some shit?!

  • Jay stone

    Damn this post put a nigga to sleep.
    Step your game up

  • Escobar9300

    Damn Coolio….just when you think homeboy hit rockbottom (No Duane Johnson), he finds out the hard way that theres still a basement under him.

  • JarenTee

    Seeing Coolio play LeBron with a bowl of snow would be hilarious!! Classic!

  • Bobo D

    DMX wisely dropped out as the company refused to “ensure his safety” or script a DMX victory.
    ^^^^
    I knew X was going to get hurt if he was really going to participate, for the fact he done some interview talking about how he ain’t going to train just walk in the ring as is. I was thinking how is he gonna beat he’s competitor by making growling noises and barking at him.

  • eesco

    “Coolio’s not only going to sniff and/or smoke some cocaine before the match. He’s going to dip his hands in a bowl of it, splash it around and toss a handful of it into the air like LeBron James.”
    ^^^^^
    Yo Mex, that shit had me rolling damn near outta my chair at work. I got a crazy visual of that shit. Fucking hilarious!! Epic!!!!

    • that ngiga

      He’s going to dip his hands in a bowl of it, splash it around and toss a handful into the air like LeBron James. Who wouldn’t want to see that shit forever, babe?
      ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

      Thats the funniest shit I read since……shit, I cant even tell you. That was fuckin classic, Ron!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    Yo we are LOMFAO over here…You owe us photos for these last two blogs sir…

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      syk… i really do. i’ve been having some technical issues on the comp. when i get them resolved, i’ll bring back the RMC photos! i promise!

  • anutha_level

    “P.S.: My apologies for former No Limit rapper, Fiend. Your namesake truly deserves better.

    P.P.S.: What the fuck?! Is this incarceration week or some shit?!”

    no truer words have been spoken so far this week. outstanding.

  • gift

    I swear everytime I read this blog, I die laughin. DMX was smart by not participating in this fight, although he should have not accepted that whack shit from the beginning. We would have been laughin at and not with X. Coolio? I don’t even have to comment on that!!LMFAO!!!!keep it up.

  • Brooklyn

    once you start starring in bad straight to dvd movies (are there any good straight to dvd movies?) it’s clear that your career is over. i wrote coolio off years ago, right now, can’t nothing this nigga do surprise me.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    The real fight would be somebody setting up a hidden camera in a dark alley, throwing pieces of white chalk across the ground, & luring DMX & Coolio there in the middle of the night.

    Shit would be like (used to be a)Celebrity Deathmatch.

  • BIGNAT

    “Coolio’s not only going to sniff and/or smoke some cocaine before the match. He’s going to dip his hands in a bowl of it, splash it around and toss a handful into the air like LeBron James.”
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • latino heat

    the mental visual of that Coolio / Lebron line had me dying.

    you never know WWE might call DMX to be the next guest host of Raw. if Snoop and Cedric could do it, why not X?

  • Worley

    “Thankfully, DMX drops out in a haze of confusion as large as the one surrounding his entry.”

    Hilarious.

    “Coolio’s not only going to sniff and/or smoke some cocaine before the match. He’s going to dip his hands in a bowl of it, splash it around and toss a handful into the air like LeBron James.”

    Nah. I’m thinking Coolio will reach in his shorts and throw some cocaine in the dude’s eyes like they used to do in the WWF back in the days. Only thing is the cocaine mist will make his opponent stronger. That’s when the real fun begins.

  • http://dasteamwerkmusik.blogspot.com bollocks

    “DMX has dropped out of this coming December’s Alabama Pride MMA event we’ve been CRACKING on for a while now.”

    “X would love nothing more than to go a good 12 minutes in a cage match with The Rock.”

    ….I see what you did there.

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    “P.P.S.: What the fuck?! Is this incarceration week or some shit?!” – Ron Mexico.

    You ain’t never lied. Gucci gone back inside.

  • chillin mayne

    i know im mad late…sir mexico your blogs is like lyrics in hip hop…like when i used to listen to chamillionaire when he was underground knowin he was gone have some ill lines and sum ill ass lines id be eager to listen..same scenario but in bloggin…

    X would love nothing more than to go a good 12 minutes in a cage match with The Rock.-
    jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

    make it a 3 way match with kane, on monday night raw and u set…would X be able to put his SMACK down though??