Keep Ya Head Up, Boosie!

“This the same fuckin’ courtroom that threw away Mystikal, you know? So, far as takin’ the trial, shit. I’mma be a G. I’mma lay down for it, you know? 365 days. It’s somethin’, but it’s nothin’. It’s somethin’, but it’s nothin’. I’m the only one gotta do that time. Niggas be talkin’ bout keep ya head up. Nigga, fuck you! Nigga, don’t worry about if my head up. Suck my dick. Bitch, I the one gotta go do this time. Ain’t none of y’all gonna be in that bitch. Y’all gonna be at home still wiping y’all ass with Charmin. Fuck, nigga… My head down… If I’m lookin’ mad, bitch, look the other way. Don’t tell me shit ’bout ‘Keep ya head up.’ Nigga, fuck all that. I’m goin’ do time. Fuck all that. Put somethin’ in a nigga account.”

-Lil’ Boosie, Ozone Magazine via Maurice Garland

“Fuck you?” Word, Boosie? Granted, I’m not one of the triflin’-ass, hatin’-ass fuck niggas offering Boosie moral support during this difficult time he’s created for himself. But, there’s no reason to shit on the motherfuckers who are.

“Suck my dick?” Nigga gonna be in the bunk next to Boosie talkin bout, “Don’t mind if I do. N-name Jangle Leg. Jangle Leg.” Fortunately, Boosie doesn’t have to stress about giving niggas the wrong impression. His fade makes him look like a lesbian. All jokes aside, fades are supposed to gradually transition from thick to thin.

I’m sorry. I just wanna strike a match on the side of that nigga head. That’s all. But, I digress. Where was I now? Oh, right.

Peep how at the end this nigga Boosie’s half-assedly askin for handouts and commissary donations like Max B. You know damn well he’ll take that shit too if you log onto the Department of Corrections website and drop some change on it. I’ve done as much myself. The shit works like PayPal these days. I bet Boosie’s so ornery because someone’s gonna have to hold on to his life’s worth in fake gold while he’s away. Maybe he’s not as certain of his ability to stack up again as he was his chances on beating this case. As of now, the only way he’s getting back all those soon-to-be repossessed goods is if his fans truly enjoy being treated like abused spouses who refuse to leave.

“H-he only tell me to suck his dick like that ‘cuz he loooooooove me. And, he a good nigga when we alone. I swear. Oh, this here? That ain’t nothin’. I-I was out of line.”

Boosie sounds bitter and wound up, as if the nigga was framed or some shit. We done seen the guns. He’s been holding them up in his trashy promo videos for a while now. All the prosecution would have had to do is put on Worldstar.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present Exhibit A: ‘Real Nigga’s Due Real Thing’s: Lil’ Boosie Dont Give A Fuck!!! Start’s Showing Of His Mad Illegal Gun’s With Goon’s In The Trap Huose!!!’

Boosie’s not some kind of fuckin political prisoner. Nigga should quit with the whole sour act. Everything was all good just a week ago. He did some dumb shit. He’s getting locked up—after swearing it couldn’t happen, mind you—but, fuck all you fans and supporters giving him words of encouragement.

You damn right, Torrence. I don’t have to do the time. I’m not the stupid nigga playing with the illegal guns and taunting the courthouse like Gerald M. Saluti. Now you get to miss out on all the hot Charmin action niggas finna be havin.

I think the day Boosie goes into the box I’m gonna throw down all-you-can-eat sushi and a box of Raisin Bran. Real niggas will be taking a massive shit in his honor.

Wipe me down, indeed.

One would think a nigga about to go into the cage would be receptive to all the love and support he could get. I hear it gets a little lonely in there. I wouldn’t know, of course. We’ll see how he feels about well-wishers a couple months into that bullet.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Is it nothing or something? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Why invoke the name of Mystikal the braid rapist? Because you stood trial in the same court? Lil’ Wayne is about to face the same court that put away Plaxico. And??? I’m sure they put away a lot of criminals.

P.P.S.: I wonder if Charmin paid this nigga in [my] preeeeecious zircon.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Damn.

    My fucking stomach hurts now, you bastard….Got me waking up my son & shit.

    Boosie’s really trying to rake in that fan mail. Hey, ass backwards works for some people (pun intended).

    • GIBZ

      yea I agree, Ron u killed it on this one. Too many lines to even re-type. That shit was the funniest shit I ever read. Got me laughin out loud literally! I like the references to LIFE too, Bernie Mac’s (RIP) “Jangle leg jangle leg” was the shit!!!

  • http://www.justice.gov.za GO-Getta’

    Oh boy!
    Is this a swearing contest Ron?,even commenters r in a swearing mood.

  • FlapJack

    Keep your head up!
    Ungrateful, Grace Jones-lookin bitch.

    Go wipe that cum out yo azz!

  • General

    I guess he wants us to fuckin feel sorry for his lame ass…

    Your right though, all you had to do was go look on worldstar and he was puttin up them clips wavin straps with his “goons” and then he wonders why he could possibly have been convicted, SMH

    And all I have to say to Boosie is “if its fuck me, then its fuck you too!”

    Eat a dick bitch

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Yeah, one of the reasons why I stay out of jail is obedience to my lengthy morning routine. Shit, I wake up to the alarm, go to the bathroom and wash my face. Then head downstairs and eat some raisin bran or maybe some Special K with strawberries. Drink a tall glass of OJ with a multi-vitamin and pop a claritin to keep the faucets turned off. I go get myself purged with a long shit afterwards and then hop in the shower for like 15 minutes with some Irish Spring or Dove depending on the weather. Then I slip into a nice plush towel and go put the deodorant on, brush my teeth, fix my hair and shit, then get dressed in some freshly pressed clothing and head out to work.

    I wouldn’t let anyone change that shit for me, let alone fuck it up myself.

    I feel real sorry about a bitter assed little faggot that made his name by singing shitty songs and still managed to get fucked on a gun charge.

    Doing that stupid will catch up to you.

    You can make shitty songs and get paid, or you can wild out on some gun shit and act untouchable…

    …but you can’t do both.

    Keep your head up, Lil Bitchie Tight Azz. You slip up and some brawny type will hang you off his dick like an accessory.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • GIBZ

      WORD!

  • Chilly Willy

    This may be a moment of clarity for Boosie. He just realizes if you act untouchable and get money for shitty music, you have a lot of friends. And if you goin down after that, the same who says keep yo head up are the same who knows where you stash them jewels. From that logic, SB should be more popular than ever if ever goes to jail.

    “This the same fuckin’ courtroom that threw away Mystikal, you know? So, far as takin’ the trial, shit. I’mma be a G.”

    So if it’s the same courtroom they threw away Crackhead Lorraine, you’ll cry like a bitch ?

    Forget Boosie ! He don’t need your love, rap fan (umm, shitty rap music lovin fan, that is). The big sisters gon make him grab his ankles anyway, and you won’t even be there to put it on WSHH. You bunch of ingrateful bastards !

  • http://xxlmag.com Blakout615

    “Im like a NBA sore thumb or a pawn shop tech nine…….BITCH im known for jammin!!” lol cant wait till Mystikal get out

  • http://xxlmag.com Blakout615

    As far as the blog goes,Dave chappelle shares similar thoughts as boosie’s,peep his new stand up act. I think Boosie was just heated at the moment. He’ll be apologizing sometime in the future

  • Worley

    “N-name Jangle Leg. Jangle Leg.”

    Yep. Jangle Leg is going to cup his hand and tell him it’s soft and supple…like a woman’s.

    He might even get some of Half Dead’s GoodBar.

  • GIFT

    i DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL BECAUSE I AIN’T NEVER TOLD THAT NIGGA TO KEEP HIS HEAD UP FOR NOTHIN. HE GOING TO JAIL BECAUSE HE WAS DOIN DUMB ASS SHIT, AND THOUGHT HE WAS UNTOUCHABLE. tHAT NIGGA WILL HAVE A FULL 365 DAYS TO THINK ABOUT THE DUMB SHIT HE’S BEEN INTO LATELY. AND ON THAT NOTE, KEEP YA HEAD UP NIGGA!!

  • 619

    “Y’all gonna be at home still wipin’ y’all ass with Charmin”
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
    The next time I cop a squat readin’ the funnies I’mma be laughin’ my ass off.

    • 619

      Toilet paper’s like gold.
      hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

      • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

        HA! You ain’t never lied! Them jail shits are just like the morning newspaper…when available.

        I ain’t going back!!!

        • latino heat

          see 7Mile, that’s how your supposed to treat people that wish you well. you had the nerve to say, thanks.

        • 619

          “I ain’t going back”^^^^^^^
          hahaha!!! My thoughts exactly.
          Toilet paper, squares and soups, all worth there weight in gold.

  • geico lizard

    Fuck me? No nigga fuck you. You did the crime thats why you doing the time and if your head is down in prison we all know what you are doing bitch ass nigga.

    • 619

      Geico, what’s really goin’ on with the Titans?

  • capcobra

    STFU..IT’S ONLY A YEAR…write some songs and work out before a time stretcher bust ya head for being a short timer.

  • Enlightened

    Before I put all jokes aside…
    that shit funny as hell about that nigga fade – especially the lesbian part. How do he get away with that shit?

    But all jokes aside…
    Boosie kinda got a point. I would have to hear the whole interview, but “keep your head up” and stuff like that is a way of telling you “how” you should do the time.

    Like if you lose a family member and somebody say “don’t cry” or “keep your head up” you might be thinking fuck you I wannna cry, I wanna punch holes in the wall, I wanna drink until I pass out.

    Not that he need to go as far as “suck my dick” and all that shit though

  • Shawty J

    I can’t believe this nigga is upset people are trying to show him some love before he get sent away. I can understand the nigga’s mad, but he ain’t gotta lash out the people trying to help him. He should be grateful anyone is showing him any kind of support.

    Since Boosie doesn’t like when people try to be nice and wish him well during his tenure in the pokey, he’s something they should say instead:

    “Bye, Boosie, I hope you get raped by some nigga named Big Paul. I’m sure it’ll happen, you’re ugly as hell, but you’re small and have a high pitch voice that some homo-thugs may get off on. Peace”

    Maybe he’ll appreciate that a little more!

  • 1hunid

    “All jokes aside, fades are supposed to gradually transition from thick to thin.”

    I LOST it when i read that part!

  • $ykotic/Don McCaine

    “His fade makes him look like a lesbian. All jokes aside, fades are supposed to gradually transition from thick to thin.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA Damn Mexx!

    So I guess now shorty realizes that $ don’t buy you everything you want. I’m actually surprised dude is getting real sour(II) about people who actually care to even speak to him & wish him well.

    Don’t be mad I’m still outside while you’re going in. You did that.

    Cats want street cred, this is one of the various requirements.

  • Escobar9300

    Aww Pooor Boooohooosie. Clown ass dude, I don’t feel bad for this chump one bit. You did the crime, you do the time. Next time I’m droppin’ a deuce at the crib Im’a be laughin my ass off at your expense Boohoosie. Stop bitching and do your time like a man. Oh, and Keep your head up hahaha Nah just playin, hope the timers toss your ass like cobb salad punk.

  • BIGNAT

    ron ron back on the bullshit. “His fade makes him look like a lesbian”. after that comment the beating didn’t stop. you just going in boosie should not treat his fans like that. what else you want someone to say. i rather hear keep ya head up instead of don’t drop the soap. mwhahahahahaa Escobar9300 killing me with this line. “hope the timers toss your ass like cobb salad punk.” i think you meant lifers but i got the point LMAOOOOOOOOO

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Damn I haven’t commmented on here in a while, but after reading this I have no choice but to! That shit was funny as hell Ron you went in on him! LMAO!!!

    “I think the day Boosie goes into the box I’m gonna throw down all-you-can-eat sushi and a box of Raisin Bran. Real niggas will be taking a massive shit in his honor. Wipe me down, indeed.”

    LMAOOOOOO!!!! I can’t wait to go to the crib and do the same. Sushi duces all day nicca!

  • DV8

    Correct me if Im wrong but words like “Fuck You” and “Suck My Dick” are not the kind of words one should be throwing around when headed to the booty house. Im a fan of Boosie but hes wrong for that. He is clearly not willing to accept responsibility for his actions and is angry at the judicial system for “doin what they do”.

    *DEAD* at the reference to Boosie’s Grace Jones cut.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    ahhhhhh!!!

    you want a piece of my tail, HARVEY?!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Somebody needs to get their hands on where we can write him, so we can all send him pics of us holding up toilet paper & middle fingers.

  • Escobar9300

    Hahaha Co-sign Grands. Whats good son?

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

      Esco!

      Can’t call it, juice. Slow motion. You good?

  • Escobar9300

    Same here son, finishing the day shift waiting for this damn weekend to start. Bout time somebody turned off the damn heater in Phoenix, shits a releif that it isnt 241 degrees today haha

  • Brooklyn

    “His fade makes him look like a lesbian. All jokes aside, fades are supposed to gradually transition from thick to thin.”

    real talk, i’ve been hating on that nigga’s grace jones fade for a minute, i thought fades went out with “the fresh prince of bel-air.” but it would be hot if he and grace collaborated on a song though, “pull up to the bumper 2k10″ with apperances by webbie, foxx, and all those other louisiana abominations that pose as rappers.