Sigh. Gone?

As we observed last time in “The Legend of John Budden”, TheBoombox.com has unearthed and compiled the fuckeries of sworn enemies Joe Budden and Saigon. UStream’s Jumpoff King and The Greatest Rapper You’ve Stopped Holding Your Breath For make a neat little Ghostface sandwich in this week’s installment of Mahhhhsterpiece Theatre.

Only Ghostface can make a face-in-the-pissy-fifth-step doggystyle raiing of Natalie Portman sound so sweet and innocent. I guess that’s why he’s The Wizard of Poetry.

But, I digress.

“I’m signed to the biggest agency in history called William Morris. They send me scripts every day, and I don’t even read ‘em, because it’s something that fell in my lap. They jumped on my dick, and that’s not my thing. My thing is getting ‘The Greatest Story Never Told’ out. Me and Just Blaze, we went in the studio we worked, we worked hard on this album. It’s the best album ever, probably. Not only just for hip-hop, for black people, man. It’s like the Bible, something everybody should have.”

-Saigon, EweToube via TheBoombox.com

I remember first hearing “Stocking Cap” and feeling like I’d be a Saigon fan for life. A couple dope malbums [mixtape/album] later and a Just Blaze signing later, Saigon looks like he’s ready to cut a slightly less than penis-sized hole in hip-hop’s water-resistant vinyl mattress and get to fucking the shit out of it.

[Blogger's Note: Mad malbums--such as Warning Shots 2 (and probably 3, 4, 5... etc.)--come out on Amalbum Digital, baby! That kinda makes Saigon and Joe Budden labelmates, doesn't it?]

Never once did I think Saigon was working on The Bible for black people! That’s kinda genius, actually. I’ve learned from Tyler Perry that black people will fux with anything containing biblical overtones, even if it’s stupid as fuck. Plus, the nigga who started painting white Jesus all brown on the stained glass windows for the Baptist churches must be caked the fuck up, right?

Seriously, though. This Saigon nigga might have taken one too many tokes Marburying out on the toilet paper tube steamroller. Stay away from that thing, children! Clearly, too many combusted shit particles can give you delusions of grandeur—including the delusion that putting your mouth on a toilet paper roll  exposed to 2000 flushes is a good idea.

Plus, if you need to smoke weed that badly whereas you can’t wait for the store to open and get some papers… I don’t even need to tell you. Check yourself, my nigga.

I’ve never been more convinced that Saigon is feeling the desperation. If he doesn’t feel it, someone should make him aware that he reeks of the shit. As if being the bottom-rung, most ignored nigga at William Morris is something to brag about. Nigga, who ain’t? I’m on their roster too. You might have seen me in that new watermelon soda commercial. You don’t hear me gushing about ignoring opportunities to be a token negro [pronounced: mugger/rapist] on CSI: NY, do you?

It’s not like Saigon had a problem being a token on Entourage. He clearly read those scripts. Now we’re supposed to believe he’s got stacks of acting opportunities just sitting there, pissing his high-powered agent off while he’s got absolutely nothing going on musically? A nigga would know better than to do that from watching Entourage, let alone working on it.

Nigga. I’m a grown ass man. You can’t look me in the face and hand me that bullshit.

Silly-ass updates like these make me believe Saigon and Justin Blaze haven’t even started on The Greatest Story Never Getting Told, whose working title has since been changed from The Most Anticipated Rap Album of 2006. I officially stopped holding my breath sometime last year when Sai-gitty made it clear that there was zero progress to speak of.

Aspiring rapsters, take note. Just be quiet when there’s zero progress to speak of. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself AND not have any music. After a while, you’ll only be remembered as the spectacle—and not the musician.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Need a connection to William Morris? I can email you one. ron@ronmexicocity.com

Oh, yeah. And don’t jump into movies just because they’re there either. I know niggas be broke at the moment, but the real career you actually love will thank you for not doing Leprechaun 12. Trust me.

[Blogger’s Note: Peep the “they’re” “there” differentiation. I know, right?!]

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    oh, yea.. and let’s go, GEEEEEEEEE MENNNNNNN!!!!!

  • Casey

    Dallas runs this shit…

    and what is with the random formatting scripts?

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    “Best album ever, probably.”

    Probably not. Saigon, you can rhyme but stop acting like you’re Nas on the mic and Pacino on the screen. You’re more like Bow Wow on the screen and the invisible man on the mic.

    Ugh.

  • G2

    Good look on the Sunday drop Mex…my Lions are depressing me. I needed some other asshole to laugh at.

  • fatDAN

    SHIT… If run out of papers, I just hotknife that fucker! Sai just need a hug and a reality check, hopefully he reads this and gets his shite together.

  • EvilD

    I was a Saigon fan at first, but now it’s getting embarrassing. Drop the fucking album already or stop irritating us with this bullshit.

    P.S. Is it just me, or is XXL falling off with rating these albums? OBFCL2 doesn’t deserve a review? BP2 doesn’t deserve a review to be the garbage it is?

  • http://www.xxlmag.com crisis

    i feel really sorry for sai-gitty
    i listened to “stocking cap” and thought i was going to be a saigon fan for life
    and i still am
    but he is in a real bad place right now
    he is a great rapper, i honestly prefer him to say, nas or jay-z (although i have never been a huge fan of either of those cats)
    i really will be dissapointed if homie becomes the next Percee P, crazy on the mic, but one bad label decision after the other, and 20 years untill his debut album
    he seriously just needs to give up on the greatest story never told (which i must add has had the shit bootlegged out of it, so you can easily cop it (unfinished) on the internetS) and jump in the studio with scram jones, pete rock and premo and make some fire, which i know he is capable of (not a huge fan of statik or blaze)
    and fuck a OJ, sai needs to rock the mike with sean P and raekwon
    dude needs a rap intervention or something. im praying to dilla for homie

  • Dallas Penn

    HA! Best. Head. Line. Ever.

    [ll] to head line

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    I knew I jumped on the Saigon bus late, but when I finally started downloading some of his shit in January, I text’d my little brother all excited, asking him had he heard of Sai, & how tight of a rapper (yes hetero) I thought he was.

    My brother CALLED me to laugh, as if “fuck a lol”.
    Imagine my embarrassment.

    Sai should link up with Uncle Murda for a one album contract on E1, then email Spike Lee his resume.

  • latino heat

    what is the hold up with this album now? correct me if i’m wrong but from what i read he got a full release from Atlantic Records last year AND retained the rights to the album. if this is true that’s the biggest win, win situation you can ask for. so why is he wasting time with another Warning Shots album / mixtape? your an INDEPENDENT artist now. that means you can drop the album tomorrow if you want to. you’ll get the same sales if you drop tomorrow or next year because the main stream ain’t checking for you. everybody forgot about that Entourage shit already.

    seriously Sai, just give up on that project. all your fans have. and i was waiting for it since the first Warning Shots dropped in ’04. let GSNT live in bootleg folklore like other debut albums like Power Of The Dollar and The Testament. take the ether soaked toilet paper roll away from your lips, move on from GSNT and finally give your fans (what’s left of them) what they’ve been waiting year for.

  • General

    How the fuck you got Just Blaze doin your whole CD, its supposed to be classic and you can’t even get anybody to put the shit out??? Saigon stays losin…

    If this GSNT was even half as good as he claims somebody would have put it out by now. Its a good thing he didn’t diss Budden for bein on Amalgam Digital…Oh wait he did…that must blow, bein stuck puttin CD’s out there when you have the best album of all time on your resume, lol

  • Giantstepp

    Mex, I was lmao and agreeing with this entire drop until I read your first comment. Ok, we didnt look worth a shit yesterday, but it was only the first game, right? Things gonna get better for us.

    *trying to convince myself*

    Hail to the Redskins.
    Saigon’s career, RIP!

  • capcobra

    saigon missed that boat along with tru life papoose uncle murda murda mook and everybody else from ny that was poppin on them smack come up dvd’s…maino got lucky…gravy got a movie..the rest got replaced…wshh fucked up they momentum…jordan towers is dirty..smh..lmao

  • http://xxl All Dae

    take the ether soaked toilet paper roll away from your lips… (latino heat)
    ——————————– —————————-
    lo f’n l

    good post. someone needed to put Sai on blast for wasting his opportunity.
    Drake is dropping tomorrow and he just came out compared to Sai.