License to Rap

I swear, some of these rappers's egos wouldn't recover if they heard me and my co-workers poke fun at them. It gets pretty harsh sometimes.

Anyway, so I'm here at the office looking through emails and stuff, when I suddenly hear some foolishness coming out of Rob the Music Ed's speakers. To his defense, I doubt he was listening to it for pleasure, but more as his duty. You see, Rob is one of the few if not the only dude I know who literally listens to EVERYTHING. He always gives it a shot.

In any event, that awful song reminded me that rapping isn't for everybody. Some of us need to get those fries, be magazine editors, work at hotels, whatever. I think you should earn the right to rap. You should have to get a license to rhyme in order to be a rapper... Maybe we should make it like a driver's license.

First, you'd have to get a learner's permit. Instead of that book where you learn all the stop signs, there'd be some kind of book teaching you rap's history, dos and donts, codes of conduct and stuff. No 5 hour class here, the class would last a few months, at least the length of the school semester. Lastly, you'd have to take the rhyme test (road test) where you'd spit for the rhyme instructor in order to get your rap license.

There are still bad drivers out there, so we'd undoubtedly still end up with questionable rappers, but the ratio wouldn't be as bad as it is now. What do you guys think? What other criteria should we enforce for aspiring artists to get their license to rap? More importantly, what current rappers would get their license revoked?—Jackpot