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Benzino and The Great Spear

Nore as a journalist and “hip-hop historian” clearly ushers in a new day. [Miss] Katie Couric better watch her shit out here. Niggas got cameraphones and Blogspot!

Better than any ridiculousness that comes from Benzino’s mouth is Nore’s “Woo” every 10 seconds. Nigga soundin like Romello’s pops in Sugar Hill.

“Come here, Ray! Tie this shit up good for your father!”

“Oh, shit. Oh—oh, shit! Woo!… Wooooooo!!!”

[Blogger’s Note: Give Clarence Williams III his due, goddamn you! …and Michael Wright while you’re at it!]

As for Ray Ray Benzino, can you believe this character used to run a hip-hop magazine? In the era of vanity labels, businesses and publications, I guess it’s not so hard to fathom. Hopefully you were as suspicious as I to see Made Men get a 4.5 mic rating.


But we’re not here to challenge Benzino’s ethics or business practices, right? Let’s get back to him tearning niggas’ assholes out. Pause.

Clearly Slaughterhouse has been a pain in his assholes. As we’ve already established here on and on my podcast, Slaughterhouse got a vast majority of their promotional run on the interwebs. In the real, disconnected world none of Slaughterhouse’s components are household names, so to speak. Joe Budden’s had the most exposure, but he’s far from famous.

Where does Benzino get off calling a bunch of guys trying to pool independent resources and make a name for themselves collectively “overrated”? Does he mean “too many nut huggers in the comments section of [insert fan blog here] that i wish was writing about me instead” overrated?

He can’t possibly mean “4.5 mics in the most popular rap magazine on the planet” overrated, can he?

Wooooo! Wooooooooooooo!

Aspiring rapsters, take notice. Benzino conducts this interview with a blunt in hand. Consider the on-camera blunt an enemy of public speech. It is the great spear of intellectual and rational death, only to be used during periods of recreation and/or relaxation.

The great spear made Benzino use a video blog to denounce Joe Budden’s video blogging. The great spear made this man condemn haters just moments after throwing some unprovoked, salty, Buc Nasty hate on a laundry list of bystanders.

The great spear also caused Benzino to say Made Men could defeat Slaughterhouse in battle. I guess that’s how overrated the blunt has Benzino thinking Slaughterhouse is. Even with Edo G. (or Ed O.G., or whatever he’s calling himself these days), that’s a 1-on-4 cage match. Z-no must not be talking about rap here. Nigga gotta talking about a round-robin backgammon tournament or some shit.


I’ll give Benzino hater points for his one-liners and pseudonyms. If he’s ever had a talent in life, it’s making up hurtful nicknames for women. Kim Oh-Sorry-Ho is gonna be a broken record in my brain like “Slutmonkey” was a few years ago. I actually say that shit around the house from time to time.

[Blogger’s Note: I almost feel the need to explain the meaning of the expression “broken record”. I realize some of y’all have zero vinyl experience and might be thinking of Usain Bolt or some shit.]

I assume Nore’s 57th Ave being “where the real niggas blog” gives all participants—bloggers and viewers alike—a license to be ignorant as fuck. Granted, I haven’t been to 57th Ave since it first opened, but last I checked, all the hood niggas were at World Star Hip-Hop copying and pasting comments 750 times in a row. Ironically enough, I think Nore’s really trying with this whole video blog thing. For example, sometimes the greatest pearl of wisdom forms in the mouth of a babe. Nore calls World Star Hip-Hop “the new BET of the internet”. Maybe he doesn’t mean that the way I think, but it’s still genius, even if unintentional.

Kinda like how one can appreciate the beauty and intrinsic social commentary in a coontastic Newport medallion.

If Nore rolled the blunt and gave it to Benzino himself, that’s like a triple word score. Way to disarm and decimate your subject, Mr. Flynt.

Right. Like Benzino’s a thoughtful, sensible person without the THC in his system.

Questions? Comments? Requests? How many mics?

[Blogger’s Note: These ignorant niggas ain’t from the south, is they? Wooooo!]

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