It’s always Friday at Soulja Boy’s house

Yesterday afternoon, I saw a video on YouTube where Soulja Boy and one of his bag handlers made a deal to split a plate of chicken from TGI Fridays, and I was flabbergasted. Who ever heard of a rapper begging his weed carrier for some chicken?

Say what you will about Jay-Z, if you’re allowed to, but he never would have stood for this. If Memphis Bleek was going out to get some chicken, he would have asked Jay-Z if he wanted any of his own, like in the movie Fade to Black. But if Memphis Bleek just so happened to be walking around with some chicken, and he ran into Jay-Z, you’d have to there wouldn’t be any discussion of how exactly to split up the plate, and whether or not he should go back and get another plate.

If Memphis Bleek had the sense God gave geese, he’d just be like, “Here, I went and got some chicken from TGI Fridays. I didn’t realize you’d be around, or that you’d want any. Otherwise I would have asked, like I did in that movie. But how about you go ahead and take this one, and I’ll go and get another one for myself. Because I’m sure you’re busy with some income generating activity, and what could I possibly doing?”

Lest we forget, Jay-Z went so far as to put Memphis Bleek in his will, once he realized his neighbor from the Marcy Projects would never have a viable rap career of his own. I can relate, because I might one day become fairly wealthy, even if I never do anything other than blog for a living. (Just not fair, right?) When a man holds your entire financial destiny in his hands like that, you don’t enter into negotiations about a plate of chicken from TGI Fridays.

What was this plate, anyway? I keep referring to it as a plate of chicken, but it could be that it was mostly shrimp they were negotiating, these being black people and all. I know there was a half a slab of ribs, and then there was some other kind of meat. It was hard to tell what it was, because it looked like it may have been deep fried. And it was all coated in some dark brown sauce that kinda looked like Teriyaki sauce. I consulted the Google, to see if I couldn’t find this particular menu item, but all I could find were recipes for the Jack Daniels grill glaze. Apparently, it’s mostly Jack Daniels, brown sugar, and Worcestershire.

You know how these chain restaurants love to combine different kinds of meats in one meal. A few years ago, I got a gift card to Applebees from my job. I used it to get that meal where you can get a steak with shrimp coated with cheese on top of it, an artichoke dip appetizer, and a cheesecake dessert all for like $10. Which is just insane, when you consider that you can hardly buy a good steak from a grocery store for $10, let alone all of that other. And I’m not gonna lie – that meal was fucking sweet. They’ve obviously had a team of scientists pinpoint the part of a black man’s brain that responds to cheese and shrimp.

That being said, this was at a point in my life when I could only afford to have dinner in a fancy sit down restaurant if I won a gift card from my job. It never ceases to amaze me the things that excite these rappers. If Soulja Boy has enough money to wear a diamond encrusted remote control car around his neck, why in the fuck is he eating food from TGI Fridays? TGI Fridays isn’t even as good as Applebees. (Aww dang…) If I had Soulja Boy’s money, I’d be eating nothing but the finest of crab meats. It could be that Soulja Boy was afraid to go outside, lest he get robbed again. The fact that one of his weed carriers could walk to TGI Fridays lets me know he was in another no tell motel, like in the Lamborghini necklace video. Maybe he was he was more interested in whatever else he was doing there than getting something to eat.

  • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

    If Memphis Bleek had the sense God gave geese, he’d just be like, “Here, I went and got some chicken from TGI Fridays. I didn’t realize you’d be around, or that you’d want any. Otherwise I would have asked, like I did in that movie. But how about you go ahead and take this one, and I’ll go and get another one for myself. Because I’m sure you’re busy with some income generating activity, and what could I possibly doing?”

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    HAHAHA…that’s fantastic, primarily since it should be EXACTLY what Bleek should say in that situation. Well done.

  • capcobra

    you must’ve watched fade to black on vh1 last nite…lol.

  • http://www.jamal7mile.blogspot.com Jamal7Mile

    Entertaining drop as usual, Bol. Funny stuff! What’s up P?

    *Will be removed in 5.. 4.. 3..*

    • http://Pierzy11@gmail.com Pierzy

      What’s good Jamal?

      First day back from vacation – just trying to get back into the run of things. You know how it is…what’s poppin’ on your end?

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

    Funny shit, Byron. Especially how you used Soulja Boy as a beard (no Amber Rose’s orange bikini pix).

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      “Say what you will about Jay-Z, if you’re allowed to,”

  • http://WWW.MAJORMUVS.COM *BLOCK*

    BLOCK BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    QUESTION…HAS ANYONE THAT HAS NOTICED THE ADD OF LIL RU TOOK ANY TIME TO CHECK FOR HIM AND SEE WHAT HE SOUND LIKE???

    • $ykotic/Don McCaine

      Hell no.

      • OG Matt Herbz

        FUCK no.

        • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

          why would anyone do that?

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grands

          Ethered.

        • Tony Stans

          “Ethered.”

          REALLY? SO IGNORANCE IS THE NEW ETHERING? IN THAT CASE YOU MUST BE A MASTER.

      • http://myspace.com/federalranga Federal Ranga

        Shit… I tell ya’ll what… I’ll DL one of this nigga’z songs tonight and then let ya know what’s up… ya gotta give everybody a chance riiiiiiiiiiiiiight? HELL NO. But I’ma check him…

        Man, Bol, you are stuck on Jigga [||]. But keep it coming, it was funny as shit.

        Ironically, I used to work for Applebee’s back in 05 and while you may say they are better than Friday’s…. Applebee’s, Friday’s, Ruby Tuesday’s AND Chili’s are all owned by the same corporation. Truuuuuuuuuuuuuust me on this one.

        E7 up! youtube.com/federalranga
        Commission!!!

    • http://callmephlip.blogspot.com/ Phlip

      I saw the ad, saw who it was for and became violently angry that XXL started putting that bullshit back there. I already knew what he sounded like.

      Then I changed my ABP settings in FireFox and it was gone.

  • http://WWW.MAJORMUVS.COM *BLOCK*

    BLOCK BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    QUESTION…HAS ANYONE THAT HAS NOTICED THE ADD OF LIL RU TOOK ANY TIME TO CHECK FOR HIM AND SEE WHAT HE SOUND LIKE???

    JUST WONDERING…

    HEY XXL…DO SOMETHING ABOUT POST NOT POSTING..ITS A TAD BIT AGGRAVATING

    • http://WWW.MAJORMUVS.COM *BLOCK*

      BLOCK BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!

      OF COURSE AFTER REVAMPING AND RE-POSTING IT SHOWS UP LOL

  • hotbox

    Bol just can’t let go of the crab meats.

    Here’s the funny part. . .I live on the east coast of Canada and back in the 60′s, the poor kids would get laughed at for bringing lobster and crab sandwiches because their father was a poor fisherman.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    Say what you will about Jay-Z, if you’re allowed to,
    ———————————————–
    easy nigga u tryin to get blacklisted…

  • General

    Post had me laughing as usual. Lets hope you don’t get reported to the XXL Jay Commission and get your blog pulled again…

  • kelito-vision

    Bol what are u doing mentioning jay Z? u know them TIs don’t like when u talk about him….that was some BS they pulled the other day on u

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Haaaa… I liked this one if only for the shots taken at Jay’s little sis.

    Years after the fact and I STILL haven’t seen Fade To Black in its entirety. A trip to netflix is due.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

      its worth it just for the scene of timbaland’s (pre-steroids)jabba the hut, gallon of tampico drinking out of the bottle, giggling, jolly looking self.

  • C-Money

    What a waste of a blog…you obviously wrote this to get back at the TIs for taking down your Jay-Z post

  • drew

    BOL your obssesion has no limits. What happened in the past did you try to get his autograph and he laughed at you. Why you soo hurt? In the end of the day you have proven one thing: u a p*ssy pretending to be a man! U should have quit the job but food stamps wouldnt be enough to feed that fat as*

  • latino heat

    Damn Bol. soon you will learn that a hard head makes a soft ass. funny stuff though.

  • http://www.byroncrawford.com Sleeze $

    I want to see what this Jay Z post hoopla is all about.

  • hate

    fight the power bol.

    but in the meantime, learn how to put together cohherent sentences.

    “and he ran into Jay-Z, you’d have to there wouldn’t be any discussion of how exactly to split up the plate,”

    “and what could I possibly doing?”

    you want them to take you seriously or you want to look like every other barely educated “hip-hop” journalist employed by this site?

    come on son
    your shit is written worse than most of the comment section

  • ms thang

    “the part of a black man’s brain that respnds to cheese and shrimp”
    funny as hell, bol, you’re my favorite

  • ms thang

    yo hate, before you criticize, why dont you learn hot to spell?? cohherent??

    • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com grammar police

      why don’t YOU learn “hot” to spell the word you are trying to use in the correct manner?

      sincerely,

      -grammar police

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Damn Bol you a fool for this one! you and them damn crab meats! Applebee’s is off the chain with that Buffalo Chicken Ranch Sandwich though for real! Tell me if I’m lying! Don’t worry, I’ll wait….

  • Phillmatic

    “Say what you will about Jay-Z, if you’re allowed to,”

    Kudos. But Bol, in all seriousness, why don’t you email the TIs at XXL and tell them you’re gone unless they give you a pay-rise and some free external hard-drives for your pr0n. They’ll buckle eventually, when they realise that all their other bloggers are about as interesting and insightful as a fucking mannequin.

  • BIGNAT

    “When a man holds your entire financial destiny in his hands like that, you don’t enter into negotiations about a plate of chicken from TGI Fridays.”
    mwhahhahahahaha man bol you keep dropping some funny stuff. you starting to take shine from ron ron

  • hate

    yo i know i spelled every word right. i always check my shit. this site fucked up. they make all our shit look misspelled.it’s to take away our credibility. my bad bol, they probably do it to you too.
    you need a face to face with the TI’s.

  • kosher pork

    all you jigz are the same

    give a nigga a lil white money and hes still got that ghetto way of thinking

    get the party started with fried chicken shrimp and cheese

    then wash that shit down with some hennessy st ides or cool aid

  • fredMS

    i remember that post about you going to applebee’s with ur gift card. i think that had to be the greatest thing u ever wrote.

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  • Aven

    I like chicken.