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It’s always Friday at Soulja Boy’s house

Yesterday afternoon, I saw a video on YouTube where Soulja Boy and one of his bag handlers made a deal to split a plate of chicken from TGI Fridays, and I was flabbergasted. Who ever heard of a rapper begging his weed carrier for some chicken?

Say what you will about Jay-Z, if you’re allowed to, but he never would have stood for this. If Memphis Bleek was going out to get some chicken, he would have asked Jay-Z if he wanted any of his own, like in the movie Fade to Black. But if Memphis Bleek just so happened to be walking around with some chicken, and he ran into Jay-Z, you’d have to there wouldn’t be any discussion of how exactly to split up the plate, and whether or not he should go back and get another plate.

If Memphis Bleek had the sense God gave geese, he’d just be like, “Here, I went and got some chicken from TGI Fridays. I didn’t realize you’d be around, or that you’d want any. Otherwise I would have asked, like I did in that movie. But how about you go ahead and take this one, and I’ll go and get another one for myself. Because I’m sure you’re busy with some income generating activity, and what could I possibly doing?”

Lest we forget, Jay-Z went so far as to put Memphis Bleek in his will, once he realized his neighbor from the Marcy Projects would never have a viable rap career of his own. I can relate, because I might one day become fairly wealthy, even if I never do anything other than blog for a living. (Just not fair, right?) When a man holds your entire financial destiny in his hands like that, you don’t enter into negotiations about a plate of chicken from TGI Fridays.

What was this plate, anyway? I keep referring to it as a plate of chicken, but it could be that it was mostly shrimp they were negotiating, these being black people and all. I know there was a half a slab of ribs, and then there was some other kind of meat. It was hard to tell what it was, because it looked like it may have been deep fried. And it was all coated in some dark brown sauce that kinda looked like Teriyaki sauce. I consulted the Google, to see if I couldn’t find this particular menu item, but all I could find were recipes for the Jack Daniels grill glaze. Apparently, it’s mostly Jack Daniels, brown sugar, and Worcestershire.

You know how these chain restaurants love to combine different kinds of meats in one meal. A few years ago, I got a gift card to Applebees from my job. I used it to get that meal where you can get a steak with shrimp coated with cheese on top of it, an artichoke dip appetizer, and a cheesecake dessert all for like $10. Which is just insane, when you consider that you can hardly buy a good steak from a grocery store for $10, let alone all of that other. And I’m not gonna lie – that meal was fucking sweet. They’ve obviously had a team of scientists pinpoint the part of a black man’s brain that responds to cheese and shrimp.

That being said, this was at a point in my life when I could only afford to have dinner in a fancy sit down restaurant if I won a gift card from my job. It never ceases to amaze me the things that excite these rappers. If Soulja Boy has enough money to wear a diamond encrusted remote control car around his neck, why in the fuck is he eating food from TGI Fridays? TGI Fridays isn’t even as good as Applebees. (Aww dang…) If I had Soulja Boy’s money, I’d be eating nothing but the finest of crab meats. It could be that Soulja Boy was afraid to go outside, lest he get robbed again. The fact that one of his weed carriers could walk to TGI Fridays lets me know he was in another no tell motel, like in the Lamborghini necklace video. Maybe he was he was more interested in whatever else he was doing there than getting something to eat.

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