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Why the long face, Joe Camel?

I used to think Jay-Z was pissed at Chris Brown because he wanted to bang Rihanna, and he was pissed that Chris Brown hit that, then beat the crap out of it.

There’s plenty of girls I’d like to have sex with and of course haven’t, and I’m sure it’d be difficult to know that some guy nailed one of them, then put his shoe on her. It’d just be a whole tangle of emotions. On the one hand, you’d be pissed at the guy, for kicking the crap out of the woman you’d be making sweet, passionate love to, if only you had what he had, possibly damaging her face. But on the other hand, there must be a certain sick satisfaction in knowing that the girl who chose some other guy over you ended up having a shoe put on her. Dumb bitch.

In that sense, it’s hardly any wonder Jay-Z hasn’t been making the best decisions lately: letting his hair grow out; signing J. Cole; paying Def Jam $5 million, just so he can put out Blueprint 3 with the TIs up the street instead; putting out that dumbass “Death of Autotune;” letting his personal problems fuck up a Michael Jackson tribute. The list goes on. Jay-Z might actually be more fucked up than I am, and at least I’ve got an excuse. If I had Jay-Z’s money, I could give a rat’s ass about Rihanna. I could fly to Barbados and bang six broads like her in a day. More, if I was still in my early 20s.

But it could be that Jay-Z, like Diddy, doesn’t really give a shit what Chris Brown did to Rihanna. The guy’s 40 years old now. He might not even be able to pop a rod the old fashioned way. It could be that Jay-Z is just a hater – he sits around and looks for reasons to be upset with people, and he doesn’t get over them, ever. How else to explain this new verse of his, supposedly the intro to Blueprint 3, in which he takes shots at people like the Game, Jim Jones, Damon Dash, and Jaz-O?

I’m sure part of it’s that he realizes no one gives a shit about his music anymore, and this is a way to generate interest in the new album. Jay-Z isn’t dumb. He probably read here that Rick Ross saw a huge increase in album sales from his beef with Fiddy, and Fiddy himself saw an even bigger increase, despite the fact that his new album never did come out. Jay probably figures he can start some sort of back and forth between himself and the Game, or Jim Jones. Does Jaz-O still rap? I definitely enjoyed that video where he lights some Rocawear clothes on fire, on the sidewalk outside the Marcy Projects. If only there was musical accompaniment.

But I don’t think this is all just business. If you watch the YouTube clip of Jay-Z in Las Vegas, he sounds genuinely pissed. If this was just a matter of him insulting people to try to start a flame war, he would have thrown some humor in the mix. But it sounds like he just can’t stand to have guys like Game, Dame and the rest of them taking shots at him… even though he’s the one who’s got all of the money. The Game’s career obviously peaked with the Documentary; Damon Dash can’t even afford the note on a Chevy Tahoe. And Jaz-O probably didn’t have to travel to the Marcy Projects to shoot that video, though he may have had to borrow the camera. Jay-Z won, at least on paper. So, why should he give a shit about these clowns?

Like his unkempt afro, this is just plain not a very good look for Jay-Z. Even if he’s technically in the right in his various beefs (and those guys definitely are a buncha douchebags), people don’t want to hear him bitch about the fact that there’s four people in the world who don’t like him. Some of us have real problems, you know. If he really is obsessed with Rihanna, he should make a song going at Chris Brown. Otherwise, he should take his half a billion dollars and shut the fuck up.

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