Turn My Swag Off

“Cracker” media is enough to make a nigga…

“Hop back in the bed. Turn my swag off./
When I wake up I’mma roll another blunt./
Yeah. I’m gettin monayyy./”

If I were young DeAndre Way, I’d turn the computer and vaporizer off for a minute too. As many of you are already aware, Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em cracked on Twitter for a million followers to see last night. Media Take Out kept a pretty good record of the tweets… and cradled his nuts ever so gently.

Ronnie understands, Soulja Boy. Promoting ignorance is a hard job and these crackers won’t let you do it. Fair enough. But with anything worthwhile, a nigga’s gotta persevere. You think they just let BET programming hit the airwaves? There’s a team of porch monkeys doing their damnedest to make sure everything on that network is careless and mind-numbing. If you want to be considered among the greats, you’ve got to put in the work. Plus, we’s colored. So, there’s going to be opposition at every turn.

The way I see it, Soulja Boy’s really only a couple blunts-per-day away from being the icon colored ignorance hasn’t had since, well, Snoop Dogg.

Soulja Boy’s camera blunts are both a gift and a curse. While decreasing BPD (blunts-per-day) might help curtail the freakouts, he may not reach the lucid, ultra-conscious dream state necessary to understand that he’s been chasing a mirage. When you chicken dance for “cracker” media approval, you’re pandering to the attention of a terrible and fickle beast that will eventually tear you apart for entertainment.

That’s right. There’s whatever entertainment you provide. Then there’s the entertainment that comes in your slow, painful deconstruction. With that said, I ain’t even nobody, but I don’t lose a wink over what niggas have to say about what I do. Anyone who does isn’t built for the medium in which they operate.

As far as what’s being said that hurts so much, who the fuck watered down Soulja Boy’s watered-down-ass music? Who made Soulja Boy look ignorant in the media? I don’t think any bloggers hit the booth and whined lazy, cheap shit into expensive microphones. I damn sure didn’t set up and advertise his camera blunt uStream. Toure only asked a question. Soulja Boy answered it… by thanking slave masters. Ron Mexico doesn’t have any material to entertain the people with until niggas do stupid nigga shit.

On the other side of Soulja’s nonsensical argument with his own conscience, the fans are out to get him too. Unfortunately, the brilliant team that has shaped Soulja Boy’s career didn’t warn him that fans of fads don’t love shit unconditionally. That’s just the way fast food hip-hop works. #Swag will be replaced with a new keyword by year’s end. Tight and bright fashion will give way to some other uniquely expressive means of popular dress. There will be a new raptastic combo meal on 106 & Park. Unless Soulja figures out a way to become that timeless, home-cooked catfish dinner complete with hush puppies and collard greens, he might as well stay under them Gucci sheets.

Before Soulja Boy deleted last night’s tirade, I thought he may have been emerging from a co-coon of sorts. That’s a hyphy-nated word, right? I notice that his profile name is “Dre’” instead of “Soulja Boy”, and that he’s now promoting “dretellem.com”. Reportedly, his forthcoming album will be called The DeAndre Way. I thought this whole bitchfest might have been another “genius”, calculated advanced social networking technique.

“Fuck all this cracka hatten shit. I ain’t Soulja Boy no more. Soulja Boy is dead. After I finish smoken this clip of Afganistan teroriss weed I’mma be Dre Tellem. A man. Pow!”

No such luck, though. It looks like Tyrese, a man with actual discernible talent, straightened him out with some good hookerly advice. I can imagine it included putting “Actor” before “whatever it is you actually do” in his Twitter bio.

I sincerely hope Soulja’s next reefer cloud takes him back to the introspective place that spawned last night’s tirade. He may just stumble upon a plan to better himself there.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Haters ruining your life? ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • Pierzy

    Why you gotta go a blame the white man? So much for Change We Can Believe In!

    • DetroitDraper

      Im guessing he’s blaming the white man because thats who’s stopping him from changing his public image or creating his brand his WAY. Thats why his new albums gonna be called the DeAndre way. You can notice that once he hooked up with Gucci Soulja’s music is changing its tone a lil more to the gangsta side. I just read an interview with Chamillionaire the other day where he was complaining how Universal made him alter some of his songs for a more mass appeal and that they were the ones who decided to make hip hop police his single with little to no input from him. So these are the white people who Soulja Boy is talking about Pierzy.

      • DetroitDraper

        Im not suprised for the none response…

    • jay

      i hate soldier boy because all of his songs are fucking annoying and every one of them sounds the same and he has no fuckin talent wat so ever when i here his pathetic ass i think jezus is it that easy to be famous these days? anybody could be if this ass clown can sell his fuckin albums -.-

  • Pierzy

    And Co-Sign this allllllllllllllll day and night:

    “I sincerely hope Soulja’s next reefer cloud takes him back to the introspective place that spawned last night’s tirade. He may just stumble upon a plan to better himself there.”

  • General

    Damn these cracka ass crackas always tryin to stop a niggas shine, WTF???

    Soulja Boy is like a cancer patient who smokes…tryin to bring the end a little quicker

  • $ykotic

    I presume he won’t be thanking Massa anytime soon…

  • DeJaNupe

    I’m tired of the word swag…

    Slang is so crazy… like before swag was popular in the mainstream that’s what we (Raleigh, NC) used to say when we were going to have a female come over for relations…

    Me: What up man
    Cousin: Nothing much, what you up to?
    Me: Nothing man, I’m about to have some swag come through
    Cousin: Oh word, my bad, holla at me later
    Me: Aight

    In high school it meant dirt weed? WTF…

    • LB

      Swag? Try Co-sign.

    • *BLOCK*

      IT MIGHT MEANT CUT UP WHERE YOU ARE FROM AND YES IT ALSO DOES MEAN DIRT WEED…DEPENDING ON WHAT SHOW YOU GO SWAG IS ALSO GIFTS THROWN OUT OR GIVEN AT DIFFERENT EVENTS…IT ALSO IS A SHORTENED VERSION OF THE WORD SWAGGER WHICH IS IN THE DICTIONARY…JUST WANTED TO POINT THAT OUT….

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    notice he wasnt doing dis kind of thinkin b4 he started blowin trees. but, dis shit was funny.

  • render

    after MJ my mindsets a little different bout this type of shit. A week ago I’d be laughing at this dumb lil nigga but now its pretty obvious to me that fame is an evil motherfucker

    to have millions of haters mocking you everyday will get to you, especially if you’re a kid. the rare few can play the game but the majority get played by fame (no BET)

    Not that I feel bad for the kid but I can see where hes comin from

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Good shit Mexico. You always slip little shit in that makes spit whatever it is I’m drinking on to the table, or my keyboard or my son’s shirt…….

      Raptastic, LMAO!

      @render
      I feel what your saying, & I agree somewhat, but I wouldn’t consider Soulja Boy a kid when he came out. Gary Coleman, Mick Jack, Danny Bonaduce, those were kids. Dre Tellum was old enough to understand the nature of the beast. Shits not all gold chains & white girls, mayne.

      Fame is an unruly bedfellow, but that nigga was old enough to know what was coming, unless he grew up listening to country music. Better buy an Incubus album & soak up that real (emo) shit.

      All jokes aside, Ron, you killed this drop, especially with the nod to your detractors.

      Coon, no homo….for good measure.

      • $ykotic

        I’m with you Grand$. The music business ain’t for everyone. The money is, but once your #’s start slipping watch the evil that men do.

        This will test the mettle of young Dre, because after that tirade the clock is ticking on his career.

  • http://myspace.com/federalranga Federal Rang

    I’m sorry, but I can’t follow this story without getting sick… COMMISS- (runs to the bathroom to vomit)

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Commission Stand up!

      Damn Fed, it may be about time to go get that swine flu vaccine, dog.

      Get well homie. In fact, sit back down, Fed.

  • http://www.obeseamerica.com sankofa

    damn oppression

  • giantstepp

    Bravo Ron Mexico
    *stands and applauds*
    Keep your foot in his ass. No homo.

    “Unless Soulja figures out a way to become that timeless, home-cooked catfish dinner complete with hush puppies and collard greens, he might as well stay under them Gucci sheets.”… instant classic Mex!

  • BIGNAT

    wtf sb is just starting to realize people not going stay hooked on his music. that is what happens when you turn your swag on if your not born with it. that shit is going run out i like his new idea though. change your stage name to dre maybe try to make some timeless music. the only problem the people who gave him his chance at a career. might not want him to change. they are going to want the next hit the next dance. i hope he can change into a artist that i can actually support and buy his music.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      that’s a whole new can of worms, bignat.

      see, SB’s dance-along core is growing up just like he is. the kids 5 years down will want a teen icon of their own. soulja boy is gonna have to grow up quickly, or else he might as well get started on new jack city III with bow wow.

      and no. i think SB thought he could do that birdwalkin shit forever.

  • hertruth

    I think the thing that many of you fail to realize is that SB is only 18. When Crank That came out he was what 15…16? I think that many of you over 25 commentators are just a little sick that a 15 year old has accomplished what you could not. I guess that’s why you blog and predict the failure of every hip hop act out.

    Leave him alone. His youth leads me to believe that he has time to take control of his career and how he wants to be presented to the massess. After all isn’t that all he is really saying?

  • geico lizard

    Ron Mex speaks the truth again

  • gao0udoigud

    i actually feel bad for this dude cuz he’s just trying to make party music

    i hated him too until i realized that

    if you want lyricisim, you don’t COME to soulja boy you stupid fucks

    sorry soulja :(

  • KF UK

    Honestly i know this dudes an idiot, but is he the only one that doesnt know the meaning of the word “faze” “fad” and “fashion”, (but aliteration aside) this guys an idiot didnt he see that no1 would want to crank shit 3 years down the line? and its so true how can you come out and say soem ignorant ass shit and then wonder “damn why does everyone think im some ignorant fool” and to be called a cracker by solja boy, well damn, that just proves his ignorance really.

    He need to realise and memorise the following “Fashion comes and goes Style is timeless….” and you solja boy have neither.

    oh an mex i dont think cocoon is a hyphonated word, didnt u ever see that really shit film with the guy out of police acadamy and a whole heap of glow in the dark old people? now that film was trippy!

  • Shawty J

    First of Soulja Boy is a dumbass, but we already knew that. I’m not sure if SB noticed but most of his critics are black, because we feel he’s an embrassment. Speaking of embrassment how’s he gonna criticize the media for making him look ignorant, this is the kid who wrote “Report Card” a song devauling education. This is the kid who walks around bragging about “doing rich nigga shit” and thanking slave owners for putting him in a position to do it. If Soulja Boy is trapped in box, it’s because he put himself there. Price of fame, bruh.

    I’m guessing the white people he was poo flinging at are probably record executives. He critcized them of watering down his music, which is utterly ridiculous. His first single consisted of muttering and onomatopoeias. The Bridge of “Kiss Me Thru The Phone” consisted of even more onomatopeias. I can’t see anyone watering down what’s already essential an ocean.

  • GIBZ

    “Who made Soulja Boy look ignorant in the media? I don’t think any bloggers hit the booth and whined lazy, cheap shit into expensive microphones. I damn sure didn’t set up and advertise his camera blunt uStream. Toure only asked a question. Soulja Boy answered it… by thanking slave masters. Ron Mexico doesn’t have any material to entertain the people with until niggas do stupid nigga shit.”

    hahahaha u know thats right!

  • jonjon23

    There is merit to the fact that Souljah Boy engages in stupidity and buffoonery, but his music is catchy just so long as you fill your mind with meaningful things and use his music strictly for laughs and entertainment. Someone tell me why artists like Jay Z never come under fire for promoting ignorance and self destruction by boasts of big-time drug dealing (which I don’t believe he did), banging a lot of chicks, and worshipping material items?

  • Dee-Nyce

    @jonjon23

    I understand where you are coming from. I think the difference with Jay-z B.I.G and others is that the climate was different and I think most listners knew these guys where telling stories or painting you a mental movie with words…but the climate is different now the average hip hop listener is dummed down..the music now is just utter baffoonary and a lot less balance, and artist with actual talent are being pushed to the side for artist such as solja boy.. nothing against solja boy I think he does have some talent..he makes beats and those beats have made him money..

  • Macdatruest

    I think Soulja Boy is realizing that fame is not all it’s cracked up to be. The rap industry has been getting shitted on for a while now- by the fans!!! Now the rappers themselves are realizing, being a rapper is being made into a joke and the artform is being turned into fodder for marketing. People like Diddy made that popular, people like Jay-Z and Dr. Dre made that popular. Endorsement deals & hip hop, TAG record labels shit like that is what’s ruining the artform. where Soulja Boy is pissed off at is how the media can overshadow his vision AND his talent.

    Why do so many fucking people HATE soulja boy?? U-God from Wu-Tand had a booty music song, niggas do all type of wack ass shit, and they not Young-ns it be vets too, ask Todd Smith, about his ToddSmith faggot ass clothes. But I the fuck digress… anyway so Soulja Boy is not a CHOICE is the point I’m making, he cannot just make music for his fans, it has to be a personal LOVE/HATE thing. Nigga only 18, and don’t nobody fuck wit the white soulja boy- Aaron Carter LMAO but for real, why not??? Niggas is backwards when it come to progression as a people sometimes…

    Yall need to watch Confessions of a BET producer on Youtube to get some insight as to how music gets filtered and oversaturated alike because it has shit to do with fans and more to do with sales and corporate expenses than MUSIC. What does the younger generation even think rap is about? Video hoes get more shine than rappers do, and rappers just mindlessly promote products with jingle ass beats or tough guy beats. Man we need Pac….

    • $ykotic

      Mac they ain’t ready for this diet. Feed them slowly.

      Remember they want all the old heads to fall back and retire so they can take over.

      Nobody gives U-God credit. He was the only cat with a solo on Wu Tang Forever(Black Shampoo).

  • Jhon da Analyst

    God, I still hate SB with all my fuckin’ heart!!

  • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

    I wanna better myself anybody know the number to his smoke man?

  • that era

    im 31 so that means i was really young during the golden age of rap..at no point in time did i think i could be a rapper…i knew you had to have tremendous skill level..at the age of 13 i was impressed with wordplay..i was into kris kross but that didnt deter me from listening to black sheep, de la soul, or tribe called quest…i knew the difference and listened according to my mood…i enjoyed uncle luke but at the same time mc lyte or nice and smooth was an option too…mc hammer was that nigga but so was big daddy kane..i guess the difference is CHOICE…which we dont get a lot of these days…back then everyone was respected in their own individual ways because damn near every act was unique..now we have a lot of the sameness from every region..hell i remember watching “911 is a joke” on rap city then “oochie coochie”(mc brains)and guess what? i pretty much liked every1 wether it was the party rapper, the political, the preety/lover boys or the dancers

  • esco702

    Yo good article I NEVER rocked with soulja boy but like fam said earlier if your looking for lyric why even listen to this dude, hes not putting music out for us its for his 15 year old fan. Real talk I was hatin on this kid at first to but yo he gettin paper and anybody else on here if you could come up with a stupid ass gimmick song, put a retarded dance to it and have millions of ppl watch on youtube you would do it now. Case example when crank that came out I seen grown ass dude supermanin it. YO come on…as killah priest said what part of the game is that

  • Kyle

    i hate soldier boy because all of his songs are fucking annoying and every one of them sounds the same and he has no fuckin talent wat so ever when i here his pathetic ass i think jezus is it that easy to be famous these days? anybody could be if this ass clown can sell his fuckin albums -.-

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