And He Like Her Toooooooooo…

kellz

This drop is for grown ups so I advise the children, and those of you with childlike sensibilities to click, click away.

I just read a story on the internets that says Robert Sylvester Kelly is under investigation for statutory rape. Apparently he has been diddling a freshly minted 17 year old in his suburban Chicago compound. The rub is that in Illinois 17yrs old is no longer a minor, but apparently the ‘aR.ra’ has been digging this P.Y.T. out since before her latest bornday.

God bless him and shouts to superfreak Rick James.

What do you think this hot-2-trot teenage chick would be doing if she wasn’t being schooled by the master? She might be having otherwise unprotected sex with some loser her own age. Trust me that this girl would be getting fuxed by someone. It is nearly impossible to suspend the biological needs of a woman to put something in her box. She’s gotta have it (yes Spike Lee).

Everybody was making a fuss about the fact that Drakes Cakes and Lil’ Wang are most prA’li hebephiles as well after viewing their performance[ll] on the 2009 B.E.T. awards. Despite the fact that Drakes Cakes is almost 35 yrs old and Wang turns 30 this year I think these fellas are the perfect candidates to teach 16 yrs olds that love don’t live here anymore. The only thing that lives is the universe.

I have told you grownups before that the universe was unleashed from a black hole. None of us know where we go when we leave this planet, but we ALL know from where we came. I came from a black hole.

The black hole is all powerful, all encompassing and all good. Why don’t we want someone like the Pied Piper [ll] to teach these young ladies how to work their black holes (all of them)? I personally am not offended by this man. He is doing what many fathers neglected to do and this is to teach their daughters their own majesty.

The black hole is crucial to the survival of humankind. Until the males start giving birth from their peeholes we will be dependent on the females of our species and their black holes to insure that we will continue to live on. Don’t persecute Robert Sylvester unless you are man enough to be a hands-on father and show your daughter the power of her black hole.

black hole
  • Pierzy

    What up Dallas…

    I like this line: “The black hole is all powerful, all encompassing and all good.” And I agree. However…

    I’m not sure I completely understand the message. I think what makes this latest R. Kelly story so fascinating is that it has now become pattern behavior. He’s been doing this since he convinced Aaliyah that “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number” so this isn’t new.

    If Bernie Madoff had been acquitted and then, 5 years later, stole another $20 billion, wouldn’t that make it worse?

    Maybe I’m just misunderstanding…

    • $ykotic

      BTW our dude Syler is featured on a mixtape @ Nahright.

      nahright.com/news/2009/07/01/loose-ends-41

      They got New York, New York in there.

      Keep grinding y’all. Dreams do come true!

      • http://www.sylermusic.com Syler

        Good lookin out $yk! Trying to make moves, thank you all for the support…

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Umm Pierzy?

    You got a point about DP, without the influence of the black hole all will be lost. Who knows what the hell all guys would be doing without ‘the pit’…I don’t even want to think about it…

    I don’t really condone Kellz showing them the way and telling them they have ‘thr force’ however…

    LOL

    • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

      Damn I almost had my Pierzy moment! COMMISSION!

      • Pierzy

        Ha! Sorry fam…

  • General

    R. Kelly made some great baby makin music back in the day, but it is time for us all to move on and let his career die…

    I wouldn’t normally assume someone is guilty before the facts come out, but this has been a pattern of his since the 90′s, so at this point it is hard to think that he is innocent of anything…

    I think you might have smoked a little too much dank last night DP…not sure where you were going with this one

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Yo, I’m not saying she’s for better or worse sexually for having Kells dig her out. She could gain experience in her young age and relax knowing that the hottest gift Kells is shooting is his piss. I ain’t never fucked a girl that was completely blown out (though I’ve left a few that way) so it’s not like the poontang will be so splayed out that no other dude’s gonna get a nut. Even if that were the case, she still has an asshole that could be worked.
    So, in the sexual sense, no harm is done with Kellz putting that ass to sleep.
    In the mental dept, though, the girl will be forever fucked up. Kellz is a freak, yo. He probably did it every which way on her and even peed on her…maybe even shat on her stomach.
    That being the case, she’ll never be aroused again by some normal sex. Anything less than simulated rape or being beat with a billy stick won’t even get her nipples hard. Then, for having fucked a celebrity so early in her career, she’ll be perpetually seeking guys that are out of her league. Her whole repertoire will be centered around the fact she was “Once dug out by a celebrity.”
    She’ll never fall in love with that dude with a bus pass.
    She’ll become one of these groupies that spends all her income on club cover charges and $2 shots and one day she’ll end up OD’d the fuck out in some D-list celebrity’s house, having never accomplished anything greater than busting R. Kelly’s nut.

    It’s a shame, yo.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • Chris Cash

      Ok when did this become the Nahright comment section????

  • http://Aquilogy.blogspot.com AQUILOGY

    I wouldn’t be surprised if xxl accidentally presses the delete button on this one

  • Dallas Penn

    Pierzy what up?

    Fellas,
    The mistake that you are making is that you think that a woman who is 16 doesn’t have physical needs.

    Since the beginning of humanity that woman hashad a need at age 13, but by 16 that need is a roaring lion that must be satiated.

    That is from the first days of man this has been the case. SO if for the last 40 years this shit is illegal by laws made by men who are you to believe?

    I don’t believe all laws made by men especially when they conflict with the laws of the universe.

    If you are a father with a daughter and you want her to withstand her UNIVERSAL BIOLOGICAL needs until she has a husband that YOU have chosen then you may have to be one of those fathers that schtoops his own daughters.

    REAL TALK rapfhags.

    • Pierzy

      My man DP…Okay, I understand your point. I don’t agree with it for the most part and could point to many instances throughout history when sexual acts occurred that were generally accepted then and would be appalling to many today, but I appreciate the knowledge and, as $ykotic said, the way you were able to weave it all together…

      • Detroit P

        and could point to many instances throughout history when sexual acts occurred that were generally accepted then and would be appalling to many today
        ^^^^
        I think you would be proving Dallas’ point if you did that…

        Dallas is arguing that “statuatory rape” is a social construct..just like wanting a women to wait til she’s like 29 and married, to have sex…He’s arguing that biologically women are ready and instinctually ready to have sex at the age of 13-16(because of which in certain cultures they are considered women and no longer girls)…statuatory rape laws are really meant to protect 12 and under girls who are not ready for sex and can be taken advantage of (primarily of course, there are many exceptions to this..

        R Kelly’s not raping anyone in the traditional sense(that i know of)..so I dont kno if I’d consider it morally wrong..but I don’t know…its a complicated issue

    • OG Matt Herbz

      DP, I don’t think the laws are there to suppress, but rather to protect young people from getting victimized. Sure, you could argue that there is no victim if the kid has a natural desire to have sex, but laws like this are just one of the many prices we pay to live in a civilized society…not that it’s that civilized.

      This argument has infinite potential, but limiting it to the confines of xxlmag.com ain’t doing it justice, mang.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

    • epinz

      @dp

      i feel the only reason its so bad is cuz society says its wrong. if these rules were not made or u lived in a diff area of the world with less restrictions, it wouldnt b such a big deal. the fucked up thing is that society accepts it from those they like. look at woody allen and elvis! they both did this, as well as jerry lewis and others that are considered immortal figures in “theyre” eyes! these crackas feel just cuz they have authority, that they can control how the fuck sumone else should live. i dnt do it, but if hes treatin her good and the fam agrees with it, than who the fuck r these crackas to say its wrong?

    • BK AllDay

      DP,

      I lost you completely on this one. I mean I understand that young girls have needs, and I understand that older men can satisfy those needs better than young boys, but that doesn’t mean some old dude needs to be sticking his peen in some adolescent vagine. So if you had a 14 yo daughter and you caught some 40 yo old dude giving her back shots, you would be cool with it as long as dude said, “I was just teaching her about the power of her black hole”! Git the hell out of here. I don’t believe in all the laws of man, but that doesn’t mean I throw them ALL out. What you fail to mention in this post is that learning about the actual physical hole is pretty easy. Sex is a mental thing (if you think otherwise you are doing it wrong) and if you are 40 sleeping with 14 yo old you are preying on a person who does not understand that.

    • Around and Around

      Dallas Penn says:

      I don’t believe all laws made by men especially when they conflict with the laws of the universe.
      ——-

      Huh? Sound like you been kickin it with some hippie ass ma fucka’s.

      -I can’t hit no young bitch under 20, they lose they young ass mind when you strike the bottom of the pussy hole…….nope I ain’t talkin bout the pussy walls.

  • $ykotic

    DP how do you go from “Robert Sylvester Kelly” to space and make it coherent? Good ass job my dude.

    We all know the hood famous smash them eleventeen year olds on the regular. Don’t lie.

    This n*gga Kells loves the smell of Johnson’s baby powder and diapers. A damn shame.

    Yet there were kings and Pharaoh’s that wifed younger broads.

    Just don’t touch my daughter. I have hot ones ready for ya.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Exactly. To the old man that thinks 13 year olds are fair game, then cutting off your fucking testicules is fair game if you talk sweet to my kid.

      And if you can’t find tang your own age and have to resort to lower age-brackets to find a match then you have a fucking problem. Let me help you with that, mang.

      The problem ain’t the fact that the girls are hot. It’s that old ass men like to prey on young girls–for some it’s an obsession. That’s the problem and “I got a problem-solver, it’s name is ‘revolver.’ It’s like a deadly game of freeze-tag I touch you with the .44 mag and you frozen inside a body bag.”

      I like my society to have some sort of law against this kind of stuff. It won’t stop everyone, no. But it will allow for said person to be removed from society if they violate.

      –OG Matt Herbz

  • vhingrhamesonyomomma

    y’all niggas stoopid!….. It’s in the bible, bitches is put here to fuck. other than gettin me 3 hots and face full of twat women don’t really serve no other purpose but I digress…they are humans to some extent. Look all I know is a perverted little chick was the first to put me up on the people sandwich smell me? so yeah you can try defy human nature if you want and ya’ lil’ girl is goin the Jena jameson route with the quickness. Real men school they daughters about they winky well before R.kellz does. plus who’s to say this is her first Celeb knockdown, this lil’ backyardigan bitch may have been brushin with population paste for years and jus’ came up when she tried it in 12 play flavor.

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      good stoopid not the kellz kind.
      ^^^

  • Dallas Penn

    Vhing,
    Women are here to make sure we have MORE people.

    Quiet as its kept R.Kelly doesn’t hang out at the playground. These chicks be on the fast lane early and that is how he scrapes them.

    I used to fux this chick in high school that was getting smashed out by the NY Knicks (read: plural). She was the first chick to lick my asshole. She was a dirty sexy broad.

    She ain’t have no daddy either. What’s my point? Nothing.

    *turns on tv, plays ‘Buttman in Budapest video’ way, way, way, way the fuck on mute so neighbors don’t know his pr0n proclivities*

    • $ykotic

      Funny sh*t DP.

      Father’s have to step in and let their daughter’s know the business. It ain’t a easy talk, but it’s easier down the road.

      Kells has his own demons to exercise.

    • vhingrhamesonyo’momma

      LMAO!!!!! PULLS AWAY FROM COMPUTER AND SMFH!! TOLD YOU WAS STOOPID! AWW SHIT MY CHEST HURT!

    • OG Matt Herbz

      @ DP

      Haha…I like that story. Let me guess:

      You was up in the spot whatever whatever sparking lye, And next thing you know “Honey I’m home” so you grabbed a scarf and the Roscoe, gagged the bitch up and when dude came in the room, you made his show you where the safe was at and stuck him for mad, mad paper. One of the 6’5″ Knick-ass niggaz. Then you was like “I’m gone” and sparked up the lye again with your homeboys on some “I gotta story to tell” type ish.

      I knew you was in deep on the rap game. But I had no idea how deep…

      –OG Matt Herbz–

  • http://myspace.com/devitan Devi Gargon

    How the fuck does wayne turn 30 this year. In 1999 wayne was either 11 or 16, I was 19…So how the fuck is this dude suddenly older than me??? I want a fact check on that one!!!!

    1,000,000

    • lol

      he was 19 in 1999,his showbiz age was 16

  • Luc

    The girls’ family are really the idiots in this case for two reasons: one everyone knows about R Kelly. It is public knowledge that the man messed with under age girls before but because the system is all about dollars=bigger lawyers=acquittals, R Kelly has been proven not guilty but not innocent either. Second, for argument sake let’s assume that the girls’ parents have been living under a rock and have never heard of the R Kelly’s trial; I am sure they turned a blind to the fact that Mr Kelly was doing it to their daughters hoping that in these economic times they will eventually benefit either through residual or by settlement.

  • http://myspace.com/devitan Devi Gargon

    Oh, and while ur at it, send me Birdmans Birth Certificate, I wanna know how old that dude is!!!

    and Kelz, what with the gold hair????

  • geico lizard

    “None of us know where we go when we leave this planet, but we ALL know from where we came”
    ^
    Co-sign, and all these churches making billions but not giving the people anything in return but hope. I put my hope in lottery tickets because I have at least read about people who win big.

    Those black holes have been the downfall of many great men so watch out and choose wisely.

    commission!!!

  • Detroit P

    Please don’t say “Drakes Cakes” anymore…I shudder at the thought of a man saying such a phrase..let alone a man as old as you

  • RiZob

    you got Wayne’s age all fucked up, im guessing that was your attempt at a joke…:-/…Wayne is only 26…not sure about Drizzy….LOL

  • latino heat

    that link to the R. Kelly story was already taken down. good points by everybody on this one, but yeah, this subject is WAY too deep for the XXL comments section. this argument could go on literally forever.

  • http://thenewjawn.com/ DJ YS

    wow Dallas you sound like Butt Naked Wonda pt. 2 right about now

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dv7iVqouHuc

  • Dallas Penn

    BK AllDay,
    I have had tons of sex to understand that it is a physical thing. If your mind and your heart are down there then you are doing it wrong.

    With that said I am sure that if I have a daughter then I won’t need to worry about what she does with her physical body because I will have instructed her already.

    I think you are looking at this story from the aspect of women being defenseless sexual morons who are like deer to some hunter’s high powered rifle. Chicks like to get it in (them).

    I would rather some old dude blows out a chick then some young dude who hits it raw and then gets her ass prego. You ever sat with a chick post-abortion? Them scars are worse and deeper than some older dude who showed her ’bout the birds n bees.

    Smarten up nas

    • geico lizard

      “I think you are looking at this story from the aspect of women being defenseless sexual morons who are like deer to some hunter’s high powered rifle. Chicks like to get it in (them).”
      ^
      I have to co-sign this because the entertainment industry acts like women only have sex to please their man who they are deeply in love with,gtfoh. Women have one night stands and get horny like us.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    “You ever sat with a chick post-abortion? Them scars are worse and deeper than some older dude who showed her ’bout the birds n bees”
    ^^^

    The word “rape” isn’t the pinnacle point of the piece, IMO. Its the power of the black hole. A woman(?) with no knowledge of her Black Hole’s attainable power is a dangerous weapon. As dangerous as the young, ignorant cat who likes it better raw, with no concept of reprecussion. Peep the movie “Kids”.

    Girls aren’t taught about the biological mechanisms that begin upon menstration. All they think is “I’m a woman now”. But, with great power comes great responsibility, word to Peter’s grandpa. They seem to barely know how to keep it clean, much less who to give it’s keys to. So, they get duped by these predators (yes, I believe Kelly to be a predator, regardless of Cosmic Biology 101) into giving up what makes them Masters of the Universe (no Grayskull). I agree that a 13 year old may be physically/biologically “ready” for intercourse, but that doesn’t mean she emotionally/spiritually ready for that aspect of nature’s course. Like, mind rape is worse than “statutory rape” on a lot of levels.

    If that same girl was taught about what she held, she wouldn’t even want a dude known for watersports. She would have shot past a lowely sanga & headed to the Oval Office.

    Plus, where I’m from, 40-something year old dudes get no respect popping baby cherries. What effort does it take to dominate an adolescent, no matter how tight the ‘tang may be?

    I have a daughter, & daily I’m dropping gems on her superhuman abilities as a female, & the possible kryptonite that the wrong dude can be for her species.

  • Dr Flav

    Omg Dallas, classic material!!

  • SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN

    i jus saw on another website that he was investigated & they found no crime had been committed… but iono something smells a lil fishy to me, though.