Sticky Fingaz: Shit Happens
At age 28, I’m apparently a geriatric for knowing Sticky Fingaz as the face of Onyx. The youngsters who aren’t exactly hip to my jive may know Sticky for his work as a bit part actor in their favorite mind-numbing hood movies. He lived out the worst parts of both mediums’ messages last week when he shot friend and collaborator Luce Cannon in the leg while showing off a “baby” Desert Eagle.
For those who know a little more about guns than what can be gathered from rap lyrics, the “Baby Eagle” is a diminutive version of its absentee father, but is still available in up to .45 ACP–so, you can’t treat it like a “Savanna Canary” or some shit.
You might catch a hot one in the leg for that.
In the corresponding video, TMZ attains footage of an impromptu interview with a visibly inebriated Sticky Fingaz. Rather, I can only hope he’s fucked up. You never know. Some of these guys get to a point where they just look like that all the time. But, I digress. After showing surprise at the incident being public domain, Sticky reminds viewers that poppin one into your homeboy’s shin is the kind of accident anyone’s prone to having.
As he says, “Shit happens.”
I can only imagine the “shit” that “happened” leading up to Luce Cannon catching hot shrapnel. Why the fuck would a nigga be waving a loaded Eagle around anyway? He couldn’t have at least put the safety on before living out the part in Paper Soldiers he wished he’d landed?
Am I the only nigga who finds great irony in the fact that Sticky shot a nigga named Luce Cannon? I can’t be. In which case, I really see no problem with the following situation:
With DJ Drama and Don Cannon’s “Cannon” playing in the background, Sticky Fingaz and Luce Cannon smoke a couple non-regulation blunts and down a fifth of Hennessy before their usual Friday night new cannon unveiling ceremony. After Cannon shows Sticky–a known loose cannon himself–a newly cannonized hand cannon, Sticky reaches into the cannon duffel for his own. Due to inebriation, Sticky forgets that his cannon is neither empty, nor set to safety. While attempting a hand-to-hand hand cannon transfer, Sticky catches his long nail on the trigger, firing a round into Cannon’s shin. After 10 minutes of incoherent apology and alibi development, Sticky turns off Underclassman, starring Nick Cannon, and calls someone to take Cannon to the hospital.
From one loose cannon to a loose cannon and Luce Cannon, I see no problem with this. For example: Hypothetically, if I had a homie called Smoke Stack and we challenge him to smoke an entire quarter ounce of BC in one sitting, and he gets about halfway through the bag before he thinks he’s gone blind… no one should be at fault. That’s just Smoke being Smoke, right?
Hopefully this tool was properly licensed. We already know Sticky likes to toy around with the unregisterd Tonkas with mad G.I. Joe and Ken dolls on em already. At least this time the nigga pulling a Plaxico didn’t Plaxicate himself.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Umm… Cannon! email@example.com