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Does Anyone Make Real Shit Anymore?


“Drake is faker than those bootleg Grape 5’s on his feet” – NikeTalk commenter

So supposedly there is a multi-million dollar bidding war for the Canadian rapper Drake. This is part of the brand new day in the urban music record offices based here in New York City. You would think that these clowns never heard any good music ever in their life. Sure, they listen to G.O.O.D. music which can be pretty good, but certainly you would need more than that to have a complete sonic diet.

I’ll never forget how people uncovered the Daft Punk sample from the ‘Graduation’ album but didn’t take the time to go deeper and listen to the song that Daft Punk stole to make their track. Peep Edwin Birdsong’s ‘Cola Bottle Baby’ when you are stealing your music off the internets. That track is some funky crack right there.

I find it hard to believe in some respects that the industry is so enamored with Drake. Sure, he’s lightskint with good jig hair and he has no mustache so that makes him more, eh, versatile. Ha. But what label has that kind of money to piss away on an internets celebrity? I am an internets celebrity and that shit has yet to get me a free meal. Let alone a Ghetto Big Mac.

This is not 1995 when you could give a deal to Nelly type dude who at least was moving CD’s on the bootleg scene. Drake is moving downloads and selling out hole in the wall spoken word venues. You don’t give $2millies to someone who isn’t stadium status. The record industry is no longer into the A & R develop an artist for the long haul shit. If you sign your deal in the morning they want their money back this afternoon.

There have been dudes that have debuted and I have recognized that they are going to be monster artists because they were bringing something very new or missing from the music business. Drake reminds me of a Britney Spears – Justin Timberlake type of industry construct. Someone that can act and lipsync really well like a modern day matinee idol, but without the substance to move the level of music up. Maybe that is what the labels are paying for in the first place?

These new 360 recording deals mean that labels even own the deuce you left in the hotel toilet. I imagine that Drake can be used to sell all kinds of other shit other than CD’s so that will help bolster the bottom line of the label that signs him. Bol said that jig haircare products are saving the jig magazine industrial complex. How about some Drake wave cream and du-rags? Eminem would def buy those. I can even see Drake acting in the after school movie, ‘The young Obama years’.

This dude Drake certainly does have a bright future in front of him.

I just don’t know how much of that future will be in making music that I want to listen to.

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