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I’m Surprised You Run With Them

It seemed obvious to me that T.I. was a snitch back when he was sentenced to a few months in jail and acting on a TV show, despite the fact that he’s an umpteen time felon. Which I do give him credit for, mind you. Props on committing all of that crime, T.I. As far as I’m concerned, you’re right up there with the Clipse, as far as authenticity. (Never mind that video of the older brother making pancakes.)

Not to let you in on more than you need to know about me, but I’ve listened to enough NPR to know how these laws work. Mofos stay getting life sentences for stealing a ham sandwich. Literally. Once you’ve fucked up that many times, they just want you off the streets. And I’m sure they could give a rat’s ass about you being a rapper. If anything that might make them that much more apt to throw the book at you.

But you guys know I live to hate on shit. Sometimes, I’ll even post information that isn’t flattering to artists, without wating for PR spin from their management. In retrospect, that was what led me to my beef with Ashley Logan. When that guy sent me that email, I should have contacted to Kay Slay to ask him if Ashley Logan really has herpes, or if this was just the work of some haX0r.

Anyhoo, it turns out I may have been right about ol’ T.I. I was consulting Twitter just now, to see what my favorite pr0n stars had for breakfast (no, really), and I saw that the Smoking Gun put T.I.’s weed carrier Alfamega on blast for being a snitch.

You know how the Smoking Gun stays revealing the truth about these rappers. It’s a good thing it’s run by white people. If XXL did a story about Alfamega being a snitch, T.I. would probably send goons to the XXL offices, like Benzino supposedly did She Who Shall Not Be Named. At the very least, he would have called up to see if I really work there, like Kay Slay did.

Plus, who at XXL would even do such a story? As much as I live to clown my colleagues, it’s not like I’m conducting any research either. If it’s not available on the Internets, I’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist. For what it’s worth, I did once read a blog post by a guy named Ronin Ro about how someone at XXL told him to ask Twista whether or not he’s a snitch, but he didn’t have the balls to do it. But that was a while back. I’m not sure who was in charge at that point.

The Smoking Gun says this guy Alfamega got pinched back in the mid ’90s for trying to buy some guns, just like his benefactor, and he ended up having his sentence reduced by testifying against some heroin dealer, who sounded like he may have been an Arab and/or involved with Lupe Fiasco. (This shit is deep!) I guess he couldn’t stand to do the jail time, even though he looks like the guy who played Debo in those Friday movies.

But the thing is, a lot of times, when you see ex cons all built like that, it means they used to be relatively normal-looking, and they got tampered with, and so they hit the gym. I don’t want to give you guys the wrong idea about Maino, but when I saw that video yesterday of him crying onstage, talking about how the police shot his “friend,” that looked to me like the act of a man who was dealing with some deep personal trauma. I mean, beyond just having a handicapped friend. You know who else used to cry onstage like that? DMX. I’m just saying.

The Smoking Gun says this revelation might cause some drama in the Grand Hustle camp, and I’d say they’re probably right. At the very least, this is gonna cause T.I. to have to do something to convince the world that he isn’t a snitch – something beyond what he said in that Vibe story. I mean, there were already questions about how he got off so easy. And now we know that he runs with dudes who’ve been known to tell on people. If we didn’t know Alfamega was a snitch until just now, what else did we not know?

As far as whether or not Alfamega’s career as T.I.’s weed carrier can be salvaged, who knows. T.I. might not want him around anyway, if he was the one who ratted him out. We know there was some sort of informant involved in that gun deal outside the BET Awards. Now that we know Alfamega is a snitch, people are probably gonna think it was him. Even if it wasn’t, Alfamega might want to consider a new line of work – carpet moving, or something. Lest we forget, sometimes weed carriers are actually entrusted with the weed.

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