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Bow Wow’s Gay Grooming Fiasco

I’m sorry we’ve been Bow Wow iCoonery Central the past couple weeks, but the little nigga refuses to quit until he sells 50 copies of New Jack Shitty Too.

Damn, Prince Bow. You supposed to have all this innanet fuckery going strong before you release the coaster/middle schooler weed plate.

“I never said I was homophobic. Somebody asked me that and I said, ‘Look. When I hear the word, I never knew how to answer that question.’ That’s what I said. I said I never knew how to answer that question Because when I hear the word homophobic, I don’t know if you say, ‘Yeah, that’s bad,’ or if you say ‘No, that’s bad.’ So I just stay away from it.” -Bow Wow, YouTube vlog

None of this makes sense. But, homophobia, like any form of discrimination, is gauged by actions, not press-time comments. So, let’s see how Bow Wow’s life better presents his case.

“But then I just told y’all a simple, funny story about something that happened. Where… I wanted my haircut and I asked somebody from the label to get me a barber. And the dude was, you know. You know. And as a man, I’m a man. You feel me? I’m a man. Like, I’m a man, so it’s kinda like… I love women to death and it’s like, in the business I work in, it’s a lot of gays. It’s a lot of gays in the industry, period. You know what I’m saying? I work with them. I see them all the time. But I just don’t like how they took what I said and misinterpreted what I said… I remember saying that… I don’t dislike gay people… I just don’t want no other man touching me.”

“Yeah I remember slappin Charlie Murphy upside the head.”

Wow, that story about having a fit of homophobia when the label sent over the gay hairdresser at your request is funny as fuck! Whoo, boy! I haven’t stopped laughing yet. I need you to tell that shit at the XXL holiday party. In fact, you should have my job! That shit’s funnier than Johnson Family Vacation. All of it.

[Blogger's Note: I'm not joking about Johnson Family Vacation.]

Much like Bow Wow, I remember learning in biology class that every gay man wants to fuck every single straight man on earth. I also learned in the same bio class–with my walkman on–that if a bitch don’t like me, she must like women.

So, let me get this straight. No hugs. No CMB handshakes. No haircuts from menses. Hmmm. I wonder who’s been doing his fade (and lyrics) since Da Brat’s been locked up, then.

And getting a haircut from a man really is no different than women watching other women perform in strip clubs. I’m glad someone’s finally addressed this shit, because every time I go to the barber shop I think I’m in a damn strip club. I can’t always tell the fucking difference. There’s music. There are all these niggas with singles. Everybody’s all watching the action and shit. The clippers are like little vibrators… You see how it’s the same, right?

More important than getting his mind right, Young Nino needs to deal with all the snitches leaking quotes to magazines and blogs he speaks with directly. That shit is a problem. We need to put this message on t-shirts and bring D-Roc to every middle school in America.

Keep shit organic.

Questions? Comments? Requests? I’m a man. It’s like, I’m a man. I kinda like, love women. I’m a man. And I’m an artist, sir.

I really do wonder how Da Brat feels about all of this.

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