Bow Wow’s Gay Grooming Fiasco

I’m sorry we’ve been Bow Wow iCoonery Central the past couple weeks, but the little nigga refuses to quit until he sells 50 copies of New Jack Shitty Too.

Damn, Prince Bow. You supposed to have all this innanet fuckery going strong before you release the coaster/middle schooler weed plate.

“I never said I was homophobic. Somebody asked me that and I said, ‘Look. When I hear the word, I never knew how to answer that question.’ That’s what I said. I said I never knew how to answer that question Because when I hear the word homophobic, I don’t know if you say, ‘Yeah, that’s bad,’ or if you say ‘No, that’s bad.’ So I just stay away from it.” -Bow Wow, YouTube vlog

None of this makes sense. But, homophobia, like any form of discrimination, is gauged by actions, not press-time comments. So, let’s see how Bow Wow’s life better presents his case.

“But then I just told y’all a simple, funny story about something that happened. Where… I wanted my haircut and I asked somebody from the label to get me a barber. And the dude was, you know. You know. And as a man, I’m a man. You feel me? I’m a man. Like, I’m a man, so it’s kinda like… I love women to death and it’s like, in the business I work in, it’s a lot of gays. It’s a lot of gays in the industry, period. You know what I’m saying? I work with them. I see them all the time. But I just don’t like how they took what I said and misinterpreted what I said… I remember saying that… I don’t dislike gay people… I just don’t want no other man touching me.”

“Yeah I remember slappin Charlie Murphy upside the head.”

Wow, that story about having a fit of homophobia when the label sent over the gay hairdresser at your request is funny as fuck! Whoo, boy! I haven’t stopped laughing yet. I need you to tell that shit at the XXL holiday party. In fact, you should have my job! That shit’s funnier than Johnson Family Vacation. All of it.

[Blogger's Note: I'm not joking about Johnson Family Vacation.]

Much like Bow Wow, I remember learning in biology class that every gay man wants to fuck every single straight man on earth. I also learned in the same bio class–with my walkman on–that if a bitch don’t like me, she must like women.

So, let me get this straight. No hugs. No CMB handshakes. No haircuts from menses. Hmmm. I wonder who’s been doing his fade (and lyrics) since Da Brat’s been locked up, then.

And getting a haircut from a man really is no different than women watching other women perform in strip clubs. I’m glad someone’s finally addressed this shit, because every time I go to the barber shop I think I’m in a damn strip club. I can’t always tell the fucking difference. There’s music. There are all these niggas with singles. Everybody’s all watching the action and shit. The clippers are like little vibrators… You see how it’s the same, right?

More important than getting his mind right, Young Nino needs to deal with all the snitches leaking quotes to magazines and blogs he speaks with directly. That shit is a problem. We need to put this message on t-shirts and bring D-Roc to every middle school in America.

Keep shit organic.

Questions? Comments? Requests? I’m a man. It’s like, I’m a man. I kinda like, love women. I’m a man. And I’m an artist, sir.

I really do wonder how Da Brat feels about all of this.

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  • benjamin bixby III


    • 57 Live

      Where u can get a trim,and then get some trim

  • Pierzy

    I’d be down for a barbershop/strip club. Just like a strip club in an airport…

  • Jamal7Mile

    “Hmmm. I wonder who’s been doing his fade (and lyrics) since Da Brat’s been locked up, then.”

    *dies laughing*

    • Mikey F Baby

      LMAO best part





  • OG Matt Herbz

    Yeah, I can sorta relate…

    Once I was on Buford Hwy and it was getting late so I had to stop in the nearest barber shop to get my fade looking right. The only place that was still open was this Brazilian joint. I pimp-limped on over to one of the seats and sat down. This tranny looking nigga came over and started cutting my hair and all. He was doing all right and I wasn’t trying to talk to him so he could stay focused, nahmean? But then dude stops what he was doing and comes around and tells me he could give me a wax, too. *Screeeeech! Nigga what?! Oh hell naw…I just stood up, squared up, and gave homey’s jaw a right hook to remember. He fell all over his trimmers and shit, landed in a pile of swept up hair and all that. Then I took one of them trimmers to the back of his head and shaved it down to fuzz. Brazilian trannies are some beasts y’all…they just looking for an excuse to wax your shit…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • El Tico Loco

      Why did you sit on Ms Sophia’s chair if you didn’t want to deal? You walked on his/her set and him/her took it as a green light, you shoulda just walked away and went to the Dominican spot for a haircut.

      • chillin mayne

        loko…tu ere dominicano??..

  • Worley

    Matt Herbz/G-Unot Killa you are full of sh*t.

    Man, if a dude doesn’t want gays touching on him there ain’t nothing wrong with that. All this bullsh*t about homophobia is just that: bullshit. Because people have the right to be gay does not mean that anyone else is obligated to accept/tolerate that sh*t.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Look son, I’m not G-Unot Killa…

      …but I will send him and 2 Goons to your house to catch wreck, believe it.

      Homophobia isn’t the dislike of fags touching you. Homophobia is the fear of homosexuality and all that may encompass that term. I ain’t afraid of no gay niggaz, and I ain’t no homophobe either. But I don’t like anyone trying to touch on me inappropriately whether they be male or female or some Brazilian nigga trying to front like a female by growing his hair out, getting implants, and slaughterhousing his dick off. It’s just the rules of personal space and word to your uncle, I will lay a nigga down that steps to me on some softy shit.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

      –OG Matt Herbz–

    • $ykotic


      They have gay hate crime laws out there. Be aware of that.

      co-sign Herbz

      Bow, Soulja, and Berg should form a “80′s Babies” group.

      • sizzle

        lmao @ an 80′s baby clique!! haha…

        & lol again @ the members to be

        what about juelz “fish scale” santana?? he professes his birth decade to excess in several of his mediocre song creations

  • chitchat

    Why does Bow Wow have so much trouble speaking coherently? He’s been getting interviewed since he was a kid right? I mean, what is the effin problem?!

    • El Tico Loco

      JD and his mom’s to blame for it. He was used as a cash cow and was never developed as an artist and he didn’t take the initiative to develop himself either. When his marketability wore off, he didn’t get the memo on time and he thought it meant “now I gotta cuzz” not “I gotta get my pen game up”.
      JD took him to fill the void Kris Kross left in his pockets. (Another double edged statement)

  • geico lizard

    “I’m sorry we’ve been Bow Wow iCoonery Central the past couple weeks”

    People are going to start thinking you are getting paid to slam bow weezy by Lil Romeo with some of his USC salary, I mean totally ncaa legal scholarship.

  • Evildead – Mad Naggins Inc

    what bowwow needs is to have 5 gay guys all around him all day and call TMZ for added humor and see where is leads to LMAO!!

  • latino heat

    don’t ya’ll remember that strip club / barbershop from Lil Jon’s Get Low video? according to Lil Jon that’s a real place in Atlanta. sounds like good shit to me.

    • El Tico Loco

      Yeah the Body Tap ask ya boy Pac Man Jones about it.

      • El Tico Loco

        Oh yeah the shower rooms!!

  • http://xxl gside

    Ya’ll miss it maybe little bow wow got touch so he hate fag’s jd on the down low on some Mike Jackson shit he said he work with them Hummm ?

    • El Tico Loco

      Well him hanging out with Omarion (Chris Stokes) It might make sense.

      • BGZ

        I dunno, I don’t have a gaydar to recognize gay people; but seeing the broad he’s married to, despite all the shirtless business, Omarion never stroke me as a flaming queen (no homo).

        Bol, in biology class, you musta been listening to Big L.

        We should bring D-Roc from the Ying Yang Twins to every middle school in America, to give him a chance to pass it/warn the kids what can happen to them if they drop out and do drugs.

        For the record, I had my hair cut once by an obviously gay barber; and I didn’t feel threatened like he was gonna buttrape me with his 100 lbs. self (for Bow, it’s a different story).
        Usually I prefer my regular barber, though; a lady in her early 40s with an awesome rack.

        • Tony Grand$

          Cosign that rack BGZ.

          Especially for the front line up.

        • Ron Mexico

          “Bol, in biology class, you musta been listening to Big L.”

          :( i’m ron mexico

        • blahblah

          ahahaha who can tell the difference

  • giantstepp

    Mex, you stay ethering the lil homie! Now that I think of it, he’s ethering himself! Too funny.

    Good shit Mex!
    RIP, Lil Bow Wow’s career.

  • Tony Grand$

    Maybe it’s just a distraction to hide the fact that HE is the tranny who molested Chingy.

    That would be two (non-existent) careers down the shitter.

    Word to JD’s beard. Ms. Beard if you’re nasty.

  • Ya Boy

    Pffft Didnt Bow Wow get butt raped by his Bodyguard? Like 2 Goons said “Stay on yo side nigga”!

  • C&D

    Johnson Family Vacation is the funniest shit Martin’s did since “Life”, someone stole my copy though…bitches


    I still have not been able to work organic into my vocab.

  • macdatruest

    iCoonery for word of the decade!!!

    • DV8

      what about crabmeats?

  • CEO Status

    lol He so lame


  • darrell johnson

    It’s not surprising that he’d be homophobic, considering he effed in the a as a little boy by his chaffeur, or whoever it was. No homo.

  • Brass Tacks

    Funny Post…

  • harlem

    The way you all are talking about gay men reminds me of the way white people talked about black people when slavery still existed. Stop the f—ing hate. Even if only because it makes you all sound ignorant, scared, and insecure.

  • fearless

    Truth is it’s a problem! For some reason we’ve decided to go along with it because the numbers of perversion have either grown or just got so bold and desperate that it refuses to hide any longer. Don’t get it twisted…Right is not the new wrong no matter how offended people get :)