When T.I. Became R. Kelly

Whattuuuuuup?! Wuz hatt-nen? Awll my hay-tas… Please get at me.

As the DDN Tournament winds down I’m glad to be getting back into the swing of exactly what the fuck it is we does round hurr, know’m tombout?

Much like any other fan of The King, I’d been watching Tea Eye’s Road to Redemption religiously. All things considered–like government pressure and incentive to convey contrition–I found Tip’s work with the select group of youngsters to be somewhat effective. It even looked pretty sincere, even if slightly off-base at times.

As the series progressed I grew increasingly worried about the precedent being set. Were snitching not a factor in T.I.’s incredible sentence reduction, the message had been sent. Convince the judicial system that you can use your celebrity to positively influence select youngsters while indoctrinating your massive fan base to federal initiative and you can serve your expected sentence at pennies on the doll—er, um—days on the prison year.

Succumbing to heartwarming success story after another—except for Edward, who ended up on the The Tyra Banks Show for beating his redbone baby mama, Chopper Mario, who’s currently fighting an attempted murder charge and Peewee, who had to ride down on some fools this past Obama Day Eve when he was supposed to be with Clufford in Chocolate City—I’d come to give Tippy complete and utter benefit of doubt. They’d sold me on the notion that at least some good had been done during the shit show that is the public autopsy of T.I.’s gangster persona. I still couldn’t believe that a several-time felon convicted in a new fed case that’d land even a first-time offender double-digit years in the pokey could George Jefferson strut out of the courthouse with only a prison year and a day to serve.

[Blogger’s Note: That's right. Try that shit for yourself. They'll hide yo' mawfuckin ass. T.I., however, will be home by Christmas. It’ll only seem like a normal break between albums. This nigga’s been on tour longer.]

Then, last Tuesday night came the episode we’d all been waiting for. “Who we workin’ wit’ today? Oh, that’s right. Cluffurd Hurris!” Knowing Sway and his inexplicable headwrap, I expect MTV Networks to steer clear of the tough questions. Instead, Can’t-Catch-a-Cab Calloway goes into full Toure mode and asks Tea Eye if snitching is, in fact, part of the comprehensive deal allowing him to only miss a couple barbecues and shit.

The following twenty-minute response to a very simple question removed any doubt in my mind that this man had indeed done some damn snitching.

“Ummm… Define snitchin, pimpin. If I hadda snitched, they’s got documents and Afro Davids and shit. It’s awwwl public ruccord, my nigga. You could look it up on the innanet. Besides, pimp. Who I’mma snitch on? Who got mo’ guns than me? Come on, now. I got mo’ gunz than a Somalian warlord. Y’awll so ridiculous. In fact, I ain’t een really goin to jail. I’m doin a Paper Trail tour on Neptune with The Neptunes…”

A simple “absolutely not” would have sufficed. Instead, your man gives the ultimate R. Kelly answer.

Maybe he didn’t snitch at all. Maybe this is how niggas will be purchasing their get out of jail free cards going forward. Maybe celebrities will never again be held accountable for their actions. If such is the case, Gucci Mane ain’t never goin down between albums again. Once his Southern Shine foundation provides enough personalized grills for the needy children of Georgia who otherwise couldn’t afford them, he’ll be able to partner up with the statehouse for an EZ Pass.

I know damn well my Dead Urban Poets Society for thriving young Harlem writers will come in handy when I finally go down for some dumb shit. I’ve got the blueprint laid out already. *wink*

My name ain’t gone be showin up on nobody’s Afro-David nuther.

Questions? Comments? Requests? I’m black, handsome. I sing. Plus, I snitch. ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • Pierzy

    Maybe he really doesn’t know the definition of “snitching”? Maybe he doesn’t know what “define” means?

    Yeah, T.I., I’m not buying your story…pimpin’

    • http://www.youtube.com/megacitywestendtv Max Profit

      Who would T.I snitch on?

  • Bobo D

    Snitching is the new not snitching.

    A bit off topic, I’m saying it here yung herb is the ddn king of the mid-west, I just caught that wshh video of him singing to some girls cochie. WTF?

  • capcobra

    lil kim got a yr and a day for perjury…how does t.i get the same prison sentence?

  • geico lizard

    Im a TI fan but just the silencers alone should have gotten him 10 years. He can get out in 10 months or less on good behaviour.

    I didnt watch the TI “please dont put me in jail long enough to get raped” show but I did see that tyra banks about the guy beating his girl. She was also hitting him and the women stay with these guys and if the guy doesnt him them they call him a punk and cheat on him. These are the type of crazy women to stay far away from.

  • geico lizard

    Another reason TI looks so guilty is because he brings up how he didnt snitch in every song and interview. When you ask someone if they cheated on you if that explanation is too long you know something is wrong.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    …Afro Davids….

    Haaaaaaaaahahaha…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • $ykotic

    Mexx you just changed my mind! I like shorty doo wop’s music but, wow.

    The maximum security ad on this page is funny ass hell though!

  • sealsaa

    Thought for sure that Mex was going to take a shot at Tiny. There’s a new Star Trek movie coming out. Could’ve pointed out the benefits of casting her as a Klingon, and the fact that she doesn’t need make-up to look the part.

  • Domjel

    I agree, T.I. gave up the goods. But some of ya’ll diluting the real meaning of snitching. Testifying on someone who shot your best friend in the head while trying to kill you isn’t snitching. Getting involved with one of your homeboys and airing him out because he got away is snitching.

  • Enlightened

    I have to see that interview.

    My thing is this… how many of y’all KNOW niggas that you grew up with that snitched FOR SURE?

    How many of y’all slapped them, spit in they face, beat ‘em or shot ‘em?

    How many of them have ended up murdered by someone as a direct result of their snitching?

    I think if you are from the hood, here in 2009, you can definitely name niggas who snitched on people, got out of prison, and walk the streets like nothing happened, even though everybody knows they snitched.

    If you can’t, then congratulations, but other than that, that shit is normal nowadays and for all of that tough talk, and acting like niggas live by a code that they stole from some mafia movie, don’t nothing happen to niggas who snitch nowadays – at least not the ones I know.

    • El Tico Loco

      You got a point there, in fact over here there was a club called the Poole Palace (home of snap music) that would stay getting raided. The same dude a well known collaborator would be there everytime it happen his last tattletale was about 2 years ago when he gave a wrong address for a traphouse and police broke down the door of an old lady that wound up getting shot up by the cops. Sure you heard about it, if not seen a quick clip in Killer Mike ‘Pressure’ video.

    • http://www.myspace.com/maxprofit Max Profit

      Just cause SOME niggas don’t get fucked up for snitching anymore don’t make it right.

      And the code of not Snitching aint got nothin to do with a fuckin Mafia Movie. You learn not to “TELL” in 1st grade.

      Cops win when nigga snitches it’s called The “Divide and Conquer” Strategy

  • http://xxl gside

    I don’t care if he did snitched he still mak good music Rick Ross fan. But if still got to ask your self did he snitch rember that time he was on punk and they put them bullets in somebody bag he was about to give up big county then watch the tape if you can find it.

  • sealsaa

    Going off topic Mex, i’m suprised you haven’t clowned Nas yet for asking the public to help him name his next child. I’d expect some self important, trivial bullshit like that out of Kanye West (if he wasn’t gay, and hence, ACTUALLY slept with women), but not the li’l homey! Out of respect for Illmatic, i’ve stuck with Nas through Nastradamus and Streets Disciple, but no enough is enough.

    • El Tico Loco

      No name til’ he gets the paternity results.

    • DV8

      I was gonna suggest Infra-Red, lol.

      That is as dumb a move as doing business with the man who bragged about sleeping with your girl while you where still together.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Now y’all dudes know I don’t come with the extra’d out, hood mentality nigga shit, but……….

    I got 3 close homies. All these dudes hit a lick together last summer. Robbed some nigga & stole his truck. Now, only one of the homies had a pistol & so technically they couldn’t have ALL robbed him but they all got arrested, tried & sentenced. One dude got more time than the rest. Way more.

    They all wrote me; nobody had the gun. Nobody knows who had the gun. All 3 telling me it’s no hard feelings toward the other 2. But, I know what happened; so does the neighborhood. & niggas got better things to do than follow my young homeboy around &/or do something to him, his mom’s house, his brother, etc. over that shit. He still chilling. He doesn’t hang out like he used to, but he still chilling.

    Cats talk that shit, but when it comes down to it, a dude is going to save his hyde. If one doesn’t understand that in the jungle it’s every man for himself, they need do dirt alone & keep shit to themselves.

    Regular Joes would have done whatever it was that Cliff did, it just wouldn’t have been broadcast on our TV’s so niggas wouldn’t know or give a shit.

    • $ykotic

      Man I got chapters! Most of them taking dirt naps though…

      BTW Ross’ album is not THAT album. Sorry guys.

      “Rich” is the only 1 I feel. the NaS collabo sound like a Jigga throwaway. “Yacht” got a Queen Latifah beat, The Dream song is a fail. The Trina cut is MIA all the way, but some of the other music/beats are decent.

      Rating: L (Large) But not classic. Gunplay cannot rap. Unless my copy is a bootleg(RELIABLE SOURCE) Torch ain’t even on the project. Why is Foxy?

    • Enlightened

      Tony Grand$

      No – all regular joes wouldn’t have done that shit. I know a couple of niggas who shut up and did the time (not many though)

      But my point is – that shit is still bogus because if all 3 of them would have stuck to they story, they would all have less time, even though they might do some.

      BUT – probably 90% of these niggas do that nowadays. And nobody is doing shit to them and yes everybody remains they friend so niggas need to remove the word snitch from they vocabulary unless somebody is going to actually make some consequences for it

  • king blair

    TIP has a point who he gonna snitch on? It’s obvious he aint in the “TRAP” so thats dead when he testified at his boys trial he never identified the defendent so its all hearsay. The only person he coulda got was his bodyguard who snitched on him. Truth is the state aint care for this shit it was an election season coming up and dudes wanted publicity. TIP benefitted from the “Obama negro factor” as I call it. I gathered from the interview he was being sarcastic and was annoyed with people questioning his hood pass. It’s like on Maury everyone boo’s the guy until they say “You are not the father”, if you wanna know for sure MEXICO use your internet savy and find his court documents

  • General

    I think it is time for you to give yourself a Negro Please. I am so sick of the snitch talk. If he really did snitch, there is a record of that shit. I am by no means of a fan of TI. Yes his sentence was extremely light, but the Judge and the Prosecutor both said that his sentence was part of an expiriment to see if they could actually get something more positive by using him to do speeches and helping in the community to promote a positive image and help people, which he would not be able to do behind bars for 10 years. I don’t know why all you clowns think your part of the Soprano’s or rollin 60′s or some shit tryin to talk on someone not living up to some code knowin damn well that Mex, your ass ain’t out there bangin on daily. So to you Mr. Ron Mexico a.k.a. Micheal Vicks STD, Negro Please.

  • DV8

    “Who I’mma snitch on?”

    How bout the guys who shot up your truck and killed your homeboy in Cinncinati? They where still running the streets after that and you never said a word when you where originally questioned. Then after you got busted the same two guys all of a sudden get arrested a few weeks later and then you get deal of a lifetime.

    Now being that you owed it to your homeboys mother to see to it that his murderers payed for they crimes. I dont knock you for doing what you did. I personally believe God stepped in and saved you for making a even more grave mistake by going after those dudes in Cinci. It may not be accepted by the masses but fuck it, who really cares what the masses think besides Kanye?

    • Zulu1925

      @ DV8

      While I agree that it would have been EXTREMELY stupid to ride on the fools who clipped his homeboy, I don’t believe T.I.’s testimony in the murder trial had anything to do with his light sentencing. The murder case involved the State of Ohio, which had no jurisdiction as it pertained to T.I.’s Federal gun charges. In other words, the Feds gained nothing by having T.I. testify in a Ohio murder trial. In order for T.I. to cut a deal, he would have to provide the Feds with info useful to them. The truth of the matter is T.I. had great legal representation who negotiated his charges down to possession of a handgun by a felon. At that point, whether or not he had machine guns, silencers, bazookas or anything else, he only officially admitted to and was charged with being in possession of a handgun. His one year sentence is in line with that charge. We should dispense with the snitchunt.

      • DV8

        good points….like I said I dont knock him. I dont consider him a snitch but they way things unfolded it would be easy to assume that. He owed it to his homeboys mother to see that her sons murderers pay for their crime.

      • Master CHeef

        cosign and lol at snitchhunt

    • LiL_Lady_Lala

      DV8,
      I don’t usually comment on this type of mess but I had to respond to your comment. Please don’t take this as a personal shot at your character but that was the dumbest sh*t I ever read in my life. You telling me that testifying against the fools that killed your best friend and attempted to murk your a** is snitching. Come on now R u serious. And do you really believe that Tip could have got off like that by turning a state case over to the feds. Yeah right The murder that occured in Ohio was a state case. Yeah there’s a chance that the guys involved could have got the max (murder one carry up to 15-life) but I know personally that usually in Cin City that sh*t don’t happen. Tip’s case was a fed case and the feds could give less than a dam about a murder bit unless them fools knocked off somebody with some major status. T.I.’s best friend/body guard does fall into that category (no disrespect to Philant)Just the fact that Tip had guns under disability carried 5 yrs alone. With the amount of guns found on him and in his home Tip was looking at dam near 30. He would have had to snitch on half of Atlanta if snitching was a factor. Wouldn’t nobody be moving nothing in the ATL and that definetly ain’t the case. Tip got lucky enough to get involved with some politicians who believed that his status could make a difference to a endangered group. Some of you may not believe that but who gives a dam. Half of y’all talking sh*t still buying his album and going to his shows and will continue to do so when he touch down. You don’t know his story and not one of us was in the ATF office with him nor was we in judges chambers when he decided on a sentence. if he did snitch (which I doubt) oh well. he ain’t snitch on any of y’all noisy ni**as so fall back. Is that ni**a blocking your money – HELL NO. Hating a** folks. Let that man live.

  • Shawty J

    I consider testifying against your own co-defendants as to get a reduced sentencing as snitching.

    I consider going to the police to the deliver them a piece of information on illegal activity snitching.

    Hell, I even considering tattling on your older sibling because they slapped you upside the head to be snitching.

    I don’t look at testifying in court against the guy that murdered one of your closest friends as snitching.

    I do find T.I.’s Gangstalicious-like response to be humorous, but still I don’t consider that snitching.

  • LB

    To be honest, don’t nobody know more about the subject other than the niggaz in his own hood. Plus, I think everything is mostly out there already. Most people just can’t stomach that he had THE DOUGH to pay the fines, which significantly reduced the amount of man-hours he’d have to pay back. In addition, he has better resources (political) to keep shit from really goin down bad. Just get over the shit. Mostly everybody doin the commentary about it don’t even understand the full LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS that would put him back on the streets in certain amount of time anyway no matter if he had 1 gun or 1000 guns. Real talk.

  • NEWYAWKA631

    T.I. MAKEZ GOOD MUSIC,BUT U TELLING ME DAT MICHAEL VICK’S LEGAL TEAM WASN’T AS STRONG AS T.I.’S,HOW CUM THEY DIDN’T HAVE VICK GOING TO SCHOOLZ AND SHIT AS PART OF HIS “DEAL”.GET D FUCK ADDA HEA……..AND IT WAS DA FEDZ,FOR ALL DEEZ INTERNET LAWYERZ

    • Zulu1925

      @ NEWYAWKA631

      Mike Vick had co-defendents who took a deal, pled guilty and testified against him. Vick’s negotiating position wasn’t as strong as T.I.’s. And, as far as the “GOING TO SCHOOLZ AND SHIT” part, T.I. was mandated to perform 1000 hours of community service prior to sentencing. How these hours were accomplished was not stipulated. T.I. and his team CHOSE to go to schools and do the outreach stuff – probably because it was easier and provided a higher profile than spooning out mashed potatoes at the local soup kitchen.