We Made You? No, thank you

I remember getting somewhat psyched the other day, when I heard there was a new Eminem video coming out this week. Then I just kinda forgot about it. I didn’t even know the video for “We Made You” was hitting the Internets this morning, or last night or whenever.

I’d read about it on the ongoing embarrassment that is Elliott Wilson’s RapRadar, and I was actually more interested in how he was gonna play this. He hinted that he was gonna have it before anyone else, and I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Were his bosses at Interscope gonna hit him off with the exclusive? And if so, how come he gets the exclusive and not XXL? We’ve got this swanky new video player and nothing to play on it but a Charles Hamilton video. FAIL

By the time I rolled off of the couch this morning, it was everywhere. I don’t know if it hit the Internets last night or this morning or what. I got home last night from seeing the Hold Steady, half-drunk and annoyed, and I couldn’t bring myself to go on the Internets. I checked RapRadar first this morning, and of course it was down. But come to find out everyone and their grandma had already posted it, and they probably all got it from MTV.

Anyhoo, I posted the clip for “We Made You” to my site and then watched it, in that order, and I was shocked at how much I didn’t like it. I figured I probably wasn’t gonna be crazy about it anyway, since the first single from these Eminem albums is always some lame pop shit to hook the TRL crowd, but I remember liking the video for “The Real Slim Shady,” when I was 19, way more than I like “We Made You.” What gives?

It could be that I’ve just grown out of that sort of thing. When the Marshall Mathers LP came out, I was barely out of high school. This summer, I’ll be skipping my 10 year reunion. That’s probably not the issue though. When I was 19, I was living in a shit hole and spending my every waking hour sitting around in my underwear staring at Internets pr0n. At the ripe old age of 28, I’m still living in a shit hole and spending my every waking hour sitting around in my underwear staring at Internets pr0n. There’s hardly anything I liked nine years ago that I don’t like now. I’m probably a bit less tolerant of fat women, but that doesn’t have anything to do with rap music. Or does it?

But I digress.

Now, where was I? Ah yes, why “We Made You” is lame. I’m thinking it’s probably just that Eminem himself has lost it. He no longer has his fingers on the pulse… except for his own pulse, to make sure his coke-induced heart problems don’t flare up again. As Uncle Grambo pointed out today on Vulture, the pop culture references in “We Made You” are fucking stale. He’s got Jessica Simpson dressed up like her character from the Dukes of Hazard movie, from three years ago, and Jessica Alba reenacting a scene from Sin City, from four years ago. Even Sarah Palin, who’s played by the same hideous woman who played her in that pr0n, is yesterday’s news.

However, even if Eminem did have any idea of what’s going on in pop culture (and I’m not saying I do), I doubt this video would have had the same impact as those first few videos. For those of us who grew up watching those classic Eminem videos, there still wouldn’t have been that same shock of the new. We’ve seen Eminem skewer pop stars before. If we wanted to see it again, we’d just consult YouTube.

You know, Eminem’s last album before this new one, Encore, was a real piece of shit. I remember clowing it pretty hard back when it came out, going on five years ago. (Yikes!) But looking back on it, at least he was trying to push the envelope. He had that one video, where he was trying to turn kids on to politics (before it turned on them), and he had that joint that sampled Martika, in which he took a courageous stand against violence. Now it just looks like he’s going through the motions, to get paid.

  • tommy gunz

    = was 19 when MMLP dropped…shit fucked my world up…even with the corny-ness that was real slim shady…but now…*sigh*…

    JUST ONCE..couldnt this dude drop a first single like lose yourself?…best first single from em ever..this however..*another sigh*…ill still cop the album tho..

  • Pierzy

    You’re buggin’…that video had me rolling and his wordplay and flow are both still incredible. If “Lollipop” is the best single off the highest-selling rap album in a couple years, then I’ll gladly take this any day.

    Wearing that Tony Romo uniform was hilarious…

    Em always said that he makes his album and then fucks around and makes the first single to get airplay…

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      I’m going to have to ride with my dude Pierzy on this one. That video wasn’t half as bad as I hoped it would be. I watched it a couple times, & laughed @ a few parts.

      The “Star Trek” reference is current, because they got the new movie coming out. Same thing with “Transformers”. It seems he was taking shots @ all pop culture in general, not just the last few years or what’s considered “relevent” (ie Rain Man, Elvis). That asian dude from “Mad TV” that kept throwing up had me rolling.

      I can actually say that that one song/video was better than the entire “Encore” fiasco. I’m going to check out the album.

      • Pierzy

        Commission, stand up!!

        • $ykotic

          That video is smooth. You can’t tell me Em is not gonna burn the airwaves the next 3 months!

          Bobby Lee in it! That get’s a LOL on GP.

          But I will agree “Encore” leaves a foul stench.

          I forgot(thankfully) that “Touchdown” existed.

          Sorry I skipped but The Commission is in session…

    • geico lizard

      Tony Romo is number 9 so eminem is wearing a troy aikman jersey. They must have only women and gay guy at interscope if no one caught that mistake on the set. The one person who caught it was afraid he would get fired if he told eminem he was wrong. Hey eminem when someone calls you out on the jersey mistake just tell them you wore that 8 for eight mile.

      That fat chick who played Jessica Simpson>>>The actual fat jessica simpson

  • giantstepp

    “When I was 19, I was living in a shit hole and spending my every waking hour sitting around in my underwear staring at Internets pr0n. At the ripe old age of 28, I’m still living in a shit hole and spending my every waking hour sitting around in my underwear staring at Internets pr0n.” LMAO, you a damn fool Bol.

    Oh yeah, never got into Em at all. Everybody knows that dude can spit, I take nothing from him. But I just never felt the animated-ish style and his voice is annoying as hell. I aint checking for Em at all.

    • valdez

      *YAWNS*
      this shit is boring. nothin new. same ol’ em. who is this shit supposed to appeal to anyway?? who actually wants to listen to this shit??

      i know i don’t. eminem can def. spit and his wordplay has always been nothing short of ILL.

      all that being said, em is still FUCKING WACK! & i don’t even know how it’s possible to have all the talent that he has and still be wack, but he’s done it.

      MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • Pierzy

    “Now it just looks like he’s going through the motions, to get paid.”

    Some would say the for you, Mr. Crawford. Not me, but some…

  • DV8

    I am highly disappointed in Em. 1st he gives us “Crack A Bottle” then he gives us this shit? The amazing part is that Dre approved of this shit being released. SMH. Still holding out and hoping the album is going to be sick though.

  • tommy gunz

    im not gonna deny the cathiness of the song…

    just like i could never deny the catchiness of lollipop…

    i would just like to see the dude do something outside the formula that we’re all completely aware of..

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Yeah, Em’s one step closer to having his White Nigga license revoked. I stays up on my shit and this is pretty much strike 3 for dude. “Encore” was the first, “Pop a Bottle” was the second, and this lame shit is the third. I’m for real wondering what the fuck is wrong with son. I mean, I shitted on that nigga Lil Wayne yesterday and his rock fad, but if Em is sick of rapping, then what the fuck is this shit? Unless he’s competing with them Lonely Island queers, then I don’t see where this shit is coming from and I don’t even know how to classify it. Man, you white boyz is trippin…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • valdez

      yo, the lonely island do say some gay shit in they songs and i can’t dismiss it as just comedy per se cause we know how some ppl try to blur that line.

      BUT, u can’t front on them dudes. that “jizz in my pants” actually rocks and the shit is fucking hilarious. if ur gonna make comedy rap, at least have sick beats. and the lonely island actually do have a few bangers on they shit.

      and it can be considered authentic hip hop because u can hear the authentic old school hip hop influence. they remind me of a much much whiter and funnier version of the beastie boys.

  • Mutada al sader the king

    Bol that b*tch from the Palin PrOn was beat up lol.

    The pop references are old , anyone who watches TMZ once in a while knows that Jennifer and John broke up ages ago etc. Either he lives in a bubble, (which I’m sure he does, he cant even walk the streets), or this song was done last year sometime, when the album was orginaly intended to be released. And Dre and him should have did it again. (Or not did it at all)

    However his first singles are always corny and as soon as the reaction is felt, a new song will leak that will quell the talk. His flow and delivery sound sick, and I’m sure he puts it to good use on the album songs. So this is what I expected and I KNOW FOR A FACT THE ALBUM WILL BE FIRE

    • og bobby j

      “anyone who watches TMZ once in a while knows that Jennifer and John broke up ages ago etc.” …..thats some 14 yr old girl shit right there fam….is it homo?i cant call it….but yea…pure faggetry…

  • amar

    i don’t have an opinion on the song yet, as i haven’t heard it yet fully

    as for the video, i’m thinking his last few albums were all emo and shit and he’s just trynna come back to that fun but twisted slim shady he first came out as on the slim shady lp. Kinda outdated though

  • sealsaa

    “since the first single from these Eminem albums is always some lame pop shit to hook the TRL crowd”.

    Thank you. I’ve been saying this since that train wreck of an album, Encore, came out. He sticks to the same format every album, and its tired. If he keeps it up, he’s going to end up doing Nelly numbers on this upcoming album. Also, his production is terrible (READ: Eminem’s production, but Dre’s isn’t what it used to be either). And for the love of christ, keep 50 cent OFF of the album. Usually, when a rapper drops shitty albums, he can at least shine on guest appearances. Not in 50′s case. If his verse in crack a bottle was any indication, then Eminem shouldn’t even bother. BTW, notice the symbology between Eminem’s outdated, repetative format, and the fact that TRL isn’t even on the air anymore. Hmmm…..

    • El Tico Loco

      Actually the relation I see between TRL cancelling and Eminem’s format is that Eminem haven’t dropped an album in a good minute. TRL and Eminem fed off each other’s energy I don’t think they can survive withot each other. He made them and they made him.

  • sealsaa

    Whoa there Tico. To suggest that Eminem was made by, and can’t survive withOUT TRL insane. You’re suggesting that Eminem has no skill. I didn’t say all that. I just said that his format was tired and repetative. I think he pissed away his moment to REALLY shine when not-so-young Hov “retired” *farts loudly*. Em could have taken the rap game at that point, but he just faded into the background for whatever reason. I’d just wish he’d switch up his format.

    • El Tico Loco

      I never said he never had skill that’s undeniable, but you’ve seen how far skills take you nowadays, but TRL loved dude and really hyped his releases no matter how corny they might be. TRL probably got good ratings everytime Em would show up, and in return Em got his numbers. In fact that’s the last nice rapper to really blow up.

      • CLARK

        Remember when Eminem took trl over for a day or whatever, he was hosting, and even dressed as kurt loader for the news.

        I miss that.

  • giantstepp

    I just watched the video and its the same ole, same ole. Nothing spectacular at all. Anybody notices how Em um, stays in his place when he is doing the parody thing? I cant recall him mocking black folk when he does those things. All white people, all the time.

    What do you fruits think?

    • CLARK

      Agreed, id like to seem him mock some popular rappers (Weezy)

  • CLARK

    I agree that the references are a bit out dated, but thats not whats really important anyways. By the second listen i’ve decided the beat is dope, the chorus is dope and the flow is dope. Em’s first singles usually end up being my leaste favorite tracks on their respective albums anways. With that in mind, the track is better than I expected.

  • tommy gunz

    ^^^^see that’s what the fuck im talkin about…Em–>clown some fuckn cornball rappers in a vid!! like wayne like game etc etc etc….gotdamn dont give a cumbucket that cant even fuck like kim kardashian or whoever any more shine…fuck

  • sealsaa

    @ Tico

    “you’ve seen how far skills take you nowadays”

    True, but, keep in mind that Em had a pretty solid mainstream following (admittedly because of his shitty pop singles and TRL coverage. Hopefully he’ll realize that since he has that following, he won’t need to resort to doing pop songs, and he’ll come harder (no homo) than he usually does, which is to say not very much so.

    • El Tico Loco

      Of course he had his shitty pop singles but real heads knew that he could really spit and had all around respect, and he’s the last person to pull that off, who was the last rapper that was that nice(lyrics, battle cred and all) and still had a mainstream following and I mean major mainstream following?

  • Shawty J

    I haven’t looked at Eminem the same way since I heard his verse on T.I. “Touchdown”, pure garbage, and so was that beat he put together.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      @ Shawty J

      Man, that song was so horrid that my mind blocks out the fact that it even exists.

      The first time I heard it, I started cracking up. I couldn’t believe that TI even accepted that song. Maybe it was like a favor to Em or something. I was curious when I saw it on the tracklisting, Em beat, Em verse, woooooow, was I disappointed.

      That happened a lot with him, I’d see he had something to do with some other artist’s song, check it out only to be let down. “Let down”, that’s what he should’ve called it.

      • macdatruest

        Touchdown- one of the worst songs ever made. Bagpipe bullshit music

  • ?

    First of all Encore was not that fucking bad at all.

    And I pray this is just his little strategy to get some radio play before the real shytt comes out.

    I’ve been waiting so long…not for this shytt. Although it does get catchy after you listen to it for the tenth time.

    Ima buy the album regardless. Ima stan all day.

  • macdatruest

    Yea that song sucks ass but Im brainwashed so Imma buy it anyway. Im a stan, but it’s “in” to be an Eminem stan, or like his sub par music, Just not the black guys. Rap sucks, but even when Eminem’s rap sucks, we gotta like it anyway cause he’s Eminem. If Soulja Boy makes a good song we gotta hate it, cause he’s Soulja Boy. Those are just the rules. And they may be lame, but hey that’s part of being brainwashed, being a lame

  • Chris S

    i am giving em and dre the benefit of the doubt. they are very smart people and i’m sure they know what they’re doing. don’t forget, i’m having a relapse was really sweet.

    i do wish he would rap in a normal voice though.

  • Master Cheef

    i’m pretty sure that the formula
    is to make these other niggas look corny, bruh
    shady has proven that the formula works
    numbers don’t lie and the truth hurts
    economy inshit, dude trying to get his change right
    hating on another nigga’s hustle is what I ain’t like
    he’ll go platinum again
    take the check to the bank, cash it in

    • macdatruest

      “i’m pretty sure that the formula
      is to make these other niggas look corny, bruh
      shady has proven that the formula works
      numbers don’t lie and the truth hurts
      economy inshit, dude trying to get his change right
      hating on another nigga’s hustle is what I ain’t like
      he’ll go platinum again
      take the check to the bank, cash it in”

      Translation: “I’m gonna speculate on what Eminem’s formula was, like I was in the studio with him, cause I ride major dick and need to do damage control. Shady has a “formula” yea that sounds good. Let me throw in some Economics and then dick ride furthermore and speak on behalf of how it effected Em like I know his finances. Like I do with Fiddy Cent, I’ll bring up the “past numbers” and hopefully people will believe once you go multi-platinum you can never make a shit album. Maybe hearing about Em “cashing a check” will make people wanna be a part of that feeling. I know it’s lame but, geez Em, this is a lame ass song. But I took the title of Master Cheef Dick Rider so I gotta do my job

      • Master CHeef

        “the formula” is not speculation
        but rather public information
        em’s put out four major albums
        pop single’s always the fist outofem
        already know real heads ain’t checking for this
        what matters is what’s on the rest of the fucking disc.

        • macdatruest

          shut yo dumb ass up

  • Ya Boy

    Em’s Formula Is Tired And Outdated. He’s Still Stuck In 2003. And At Least His Other Pop Hits (My Name Is, The Real Slim Shady, Without Me) Were Actually Good. His New Ish Is Horrible!

  • Prince Caesar

    I was highly disappointed with the song..it’s weak and annoying as hell. The video was kinda funny it’s just him making fun of white people in pop culture. It’s been done a million times. I hope the album is way better. “Crack a Bottle” is wack and so is this song.

  • Moi

    this is as bad as “just lose it”; not that the song is as bad but because of the anticipation. wow, more comments about pop stars. his flow is crazy, em is a beast, but where is the content? . . . all this time and resources (unlimited budget, dr. dre) and this comes out? suge knight may have been right–em is like weird al yankovic. i hope the album is better. for $2.50, i will take the chance.

  • http://detroitrap.com JASON T

    THE GUY THAT WROTE THIS IS SMOKIN CRACK!!!! THIS TRACK IS HOT ITS A TYPICAL EM FIRST RELEASE AND I THINK ITS HOTTER THEN JUST LOSE IT BUT NOT BETTER THEN WITHOUT ME BUT ITS FIRE SO GO BLOW A HORSE HEEEEEHUUUUUUUHHHHHHH

  • BIGNAT

    AFTER HIS SECOND ALBUM EM GOT NO MORE OF MY MONEY. HE PEAKED AT HIS SECOND CD HE BEEN FALLING DOWN EVER SINCE.

  • Stano

    Eminem’s new CD has some of the best production i have ever heard. Dre and Em have out done themselves. If you liked The Slim Shady LP or the Marshall Mathers LP, make sure you go out and buy this CD on May 19. It is the best I have heard in a long while.