Taheezo’s ass > Budden’s career

The key moment in today’s q+a with Joe Budden’s girlfriend Taheezo is at the very end, when they ask her whether or not her ass has a bigger buzz than Joe Budden’s career. She says, “No, um… well, I’m not really sure how to answer that.” Which I of course took to mean, “Well, yeah, obviously.”

Case in point: Taheezo’s ass is on the cover of the new King. Budden himself, meanwhile, isn’t on the cover of XXL or any other magazine, for that matter. For all we know, I may have been on the cover of more magazines (1) than Joe Budden. And we’re living in an age when the Source, in its weakened state, will put any ol’ bum on the cover. I’m friends with one of the girls from the Source on Facebook, so I might need to see about getting on one of the alternate covers of next month’s issue, Bun B-style. Just to show how big a man I am (and you guys know I’m huge), I’d even be willing to share the cover with Budden and Taheezo. For a small fee, I’d even be willing to pen the cover story, on how Taheezo’s ass has more buzz than Budden’s career.

Keep in mind, it’s not my (only) intention to mock Budden here. The guy deserves credit for stumbling upon what I think is gonna be one of the more powerful ideas of hip-hop in the Twitter era, i.e. if your career lacks buzz, finding yourself a hot (or, in Budden’s case, unique) girlfriend can only help matters. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised you start seeing more and more rappers take flip cam videos of their girlfriends, I Fux-style, with their own shitty rap music playing in the background.

Take for example this guy Lushlife. He wasn’t necessarily trying to pimp out his girlfriend. It just so happens that, a few weeks ago, she sent me this picture of her cans, and it just so happens to be one of the more impressive pictures of a woman’s cans I’ve seen on the Internets – and not for any lack of trying, obviously. Then yesterday he hit me up like, “Dude, I’m that guy who’s girlfriend sent you a picture of her cans a few weeks ago, and, well, I’ve got a rap album coming out.” Of course I posted his shit on my site. As I mentioned in a post today, if you pull some shit like that, I’ll straight eskay your shit (i.e. I ain’t even gonna bother listening to it first)!

I’m even thinking about getting myself an especially hot girlfriend, just to take my blogging career to the next level, and also to make sweet, passionate love to. Only thing is, I’m not too proud to admit I just don’t have a whole lot to offer a woman, be it looks, or money, or dancing ability, or whatever else it is girls look for in a guy. I could find a woman to take videos of, but it wouldn’t be the kind of woman who’d do anything for my blogging career. I suppose I do have a certain degree of status in the hip-hop blogosphere, but obviously that isn’t worth a shit.

If any good-looking women are reading this and want to become famous on the hip-hop Internets, holler at your boy. I think we’d both stand to benefit from such an arrangement. I’d have to insist that we have sex (hey, it was my idea!), but I wouldn’t be surprised if you even kinda liked it. I’ve got the size women look for in a black guy, along with the facility with the English language you don’t even find in a lot of white people these days. You’d think that would be a compelling combination…

  • Jamal7Mile

    “Well, yeah, obviously.”

    HA!! You read my mind, Bol! Good post!

  • Pierzy

    So, should they put Taheezo in Slaughterhouse?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Duh!

  • tommy gunz

    that bitch’s ass is a dying breed

  • DBlock

    It would be funnier if this was the first time ud said it. Or the second even.

  • http://xxl All Dae

    she has a big booty and looks nice.

    More attention is on her than say….her mans record release. That dropped already right? buzz is dead and so is the sales….

  • DV8

    is Buddens Tahiry’s boyfriend or manager (pimp)? He put her on the razor (the net) and she brung back all kinds of attention and got a cover for a mag (imsure she got a check for that) Her career has blown up while Joey may be the weakest rapper in his own group (damn Joey cant win for nothing)

  • mo

    This entire article was really about Bol wanting a piece of ass, I ain’t mad at that.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Now the question becomes; how long before she leaves him for irreconcilable differences (i.e. a white dude)?

    • Pierzy

      April 9th?

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Haha!

        You already emailed her your resume, huh?!

        I am not mad, sir! Lol!

        Early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the cakes….

      • Pierzy

        Ha!! If it’s gonna be some white dude, why not me?

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Should be a smooth transition for her, what with the “around the edges” & all.

        • Pierzy

          Hahaha… you got me rollin’ dude!

  • ri067953

    Yo, I think this is the second time I’ve seen Bol try to use his blogging fame in exchange for some poon. Bol, is it that bad homie?

  • http://vimeo.com Farouq Obama aka Fux

    Ohh Shit Bol. What did you just do? You got your hand in every avenue of the internets.

  • geico lizard

    I clicked on that I Fux style link on NR when he first posted it and his girl looks nice but the funny part was when he asked her if he can “beat up that little pussy” and she looked at him like she was thinking *when have you beat up this pussy* or *you werent around the last time someone really beat up this little pussy*,lmfao.

  • geico lizard

    “I’ve got the size women look for in a black guy”
    ^
    I think that needed one of your “nhjic”. You also wouldnt want a woman who wants you for that because she will leave when she finds a more “blessed” guy,nhjic. Its like if a chick is with you for money dont fuck around and go broke or she is out the door on some”weve grown apart” type shit. All that said I still have my tickets for tonights 146 million powerball lottery.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I think in this matter that Tahiry’s ass couldn’t really hurt dude’s career unless it got to the point that she had a hot sex tape out and Budden didn’t have shit out in the streets. Then, yeah, dudes would be shimmying their jimmies to girlfriend’s ass, but wouldn’t give a fuck about dude’s lyrics.

    You know them kinds of cats that like to holla at a nigga only to try and put the mack moves on the nigga’s girl at a later time. Like this muthafucking Indian/Mexican mixed ass nigga I used to know always came out to the clubs with my nigga Illegal1 and myself. He’d be buying us drinks and shit, you know, sharing the limelight and all that, but the next thing you know, Illegal1 found a text message on dude’s phone that he sent to Illegal1′s girl. All hell broke lose that night, nigga. We got buck on his ass. I must have smashed two or three iPhone’s on that nigga’s face to teach him a lesson–straight ruined them shits…AND they were still under contract–no warranty! Illegal1 wired up his Blackberry to dude’s nuts–Abu Ghraib style. Then we started sending text messages to the phone and nigga’s nuts got barbecued, word up! Smelled like curry tacos in that bitch…

    We taught that nigga a lesson for step-stonin’ on a real nigga. Step-stoning is using somebody as a stepping stone just to reach someone else. And basically Budden and his girl are playing the game.

    She does have an amazing ass though.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • macdatruest

    To make it in today’s rap game, you gotta be a angry bully wit no hoes in sight. You gotta have a man-thug companion similar to Yayo. A convicted yet commited felon if you will. Today’s rapper thinks girls are icky, but has undying loyalty to his homies

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Wow

      Rofl Mao!!!!!

      & true as fuck……..

  • http://www.xxlmag.com cpain94

    to og matt herbz u strait killin me wit that shit!lol

  • $ykotic

    Her ass is on the cover of the last issue that company will print.

    Historic. her ass flicks will sell more than his “Padded Room” project.

    Hopefully they have a good marriage and they can be the next rap royalty couple.

    But too many nuts in the air looking at that Gluteus Maximus.

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    1st off Happy Bday to my Nikki R., !!! Daddy loves u. 2nd Buddens spits homie its just niggas ain’t listenin and then again the beats on this album is horrid(nevr thought id use that word) so ol girls ass might bring him a lil more attention.

  • escobar9300

    “I’ve got the size women look for in a black guy, along with the facility with the English language you don’t even find in a lot of white people these days. You’d think that would be a compelling combination…”

    hahahaha! Bol turning this blog into a booty classified add! I can respect that haha Handle your BI Bol

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Tahiry’s ass is major for real, that shit illegal in some states LOL

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Magazines are dead.

  • sealsaa

    I’d eat cereal out of that girl’s ass.

  • Master Cheef

    doesn’t matter whom’s asked
    that bitch has got one huge ass
    ask anybody, don’t care
    dude’s career is goin nowhere
    i’m like a hunter searching for a hog’s head
    underwriter, fuck magazines, your blog is dead
    you’re way in da hole
    when gettin outshined by ur girl’s a-hole
    macdafoolis needs an update
    you’re a straight up lame, cupcake.

    • macdatruest

      okay yo rap was garbage time
      did someone request a garbage rhyme
      you scared of Tahiri’s ass
      but you like fuckin dudes where they pass gas
      you talkin down on Budden where’s you career
      matter fact where’s yo bitch? Apparently not here
      you keep sayin my name, you must be a fan
      how you manage to type wit my nuts in yo hand
      gettin’ outshinned by her a-hole? we lookin at cheeks
      you lookin into her butt cause you the fag of the week
      Master Pussy need to stop bloggin
      on my WOOD when he log in like the nigga straight loggin

      • Master Cheef

        your gay jokes illuminate your subconcious
        your comments are filled w nonsense
        my girl is def. not on XXL
        She on my XL where i excel
        let the weed exhale
        that logging line was kinda humorous
        it’d be even better post-humous
        go back to kenya
        where ya got some kin to ya
        yo peeps sold white the brothers
        we dont trust you motherfuckers
        the path you takin is ineffective
        i’ve been elected
        to make sure you get neglected
        you get no respect, i just checked it
        your comments are not intelligible
        you are not eligible
        to even be credible
        you’re just gonna have to settle
        for being at mid-level

        • macdatruest

          Now you wanna front like you really a rap nigga
          When you a on yo knees face in Fiddy lap nigga
          If this wasn’t a blog I would really slap niggas
          Never wrote nonsense my shit is facts nigga
          I sold slaves?, thats good for laughter
          well at least I did business I aint have a white master
          Okay Kenya get money, we the ones who be carryin’
          Welfare life livin’ ass “African-Americans”
          Dissin’ yo own culture is an ineffective path
          But you a bitch anyway, prolly XXL staff
          Yo bitch non-existent, yo shit not persistent
          you never been elected, you bout to get evicted
          yo raps in on suckmode, blogs be on dickride
          you the only nigga my blogs be hurtin’ on the inside
          You speakin’ on Kenya is why I say you a dummy
          Barack is half Kenyan and he runnin’ this country

        • Master Cheef

          comments are not hurtful, just annoying
          guess BlackWallStreet has been employing
          and, nigga, i aint frontin
          my shit been bumping
          since before me and yo momma was humping
          now aint that something?
          That2nd verse was actually halfway decent
          only tight comment of yours that’s been recent
          better stay complaisant
          or humiliation will be adjacent
          and listen black
          you aint never spit a fact
          kenya is carrying us?
          some serious crack you flarin up
          you live in a dream world where you think someone care bout ur opion of fifty cent
          came into the real world and been sucking your momma’s titty since(me2)
          none of your comments are in a witty tense
          trust me, they’re all shitty n dense
          obvious to see that you studying curtis awful hard
          do like ross and go be a lawful guard

        • macdatruest

          I dont try to write “tight comments” I try to get my point across
          You try to propogate the facts to re assure my point is lost
          Too bad it’s not workin’ thats why i get co-signs
          Yo verses like country roads, I cant see no lines
          to follow, you hopped off Fiddy dick now you on mines
          you swallow, i spit rhymes that’ll allow you no shine
          Macdatruest it aint just a handle it’s a fact
          Kenya aint carryin you? Yo president aint black?
          and thats reality not a side effect of crack
          If we all return to kenya you’ll have mccain back
          I peeped you keep tryna bite my flow too
          yo shit been bumpin? dont na’an nigga know you
          And I don’t study Curtis worthless verses
          G-Unit aint a label or a gang its a circus
          And you been gettin’ merked, quit.

  • Mutada al sader the king

    Man anyone see that video of her on WSHH yesterday, showing a second or two of her behind the scenes shoot at king. Man.. go watch that shit now !

  • BORN IN THE NORTH, RAISED IN THE SOUTH

    You’re a damn fool, Bol. Tahiry’s ass buzz > 90% of the rap game’s buzz

  • chillin mayne

    eeny meenie miny moe
    u guys tickle me a shade darker dan pink, im elmo
    i giggle, gargle, guffaw as i watch u 2 flow
    im tahirys candle on her birthday, ohhhhhhhh

    dat means….fucc it if u dont get it, i aint gonna xplain…

    • macdatruest

      eenie meenie miny moe
      get off my dick are you my ho?
      you giggle as you watch me flow
      and come with playschool rhymes that blow
      Tahiris “candle” on her birthday no doubt
      the one when she was one that she couldnt blow out
      cause now she would have “candles” your flow is flawed
      You shoulda studied my shit, but instead you guffawed
      But what more can I expect from a fraud
      a broad who hopped right on my dick on a blog

  • chillin mayne

    scrub a dub dub
    3 men in a tub

  • chillin mayne

    scrub a dub dub

  • chillin mayne

    scrub a dub dub
    3 men in a tub,
    lewis, mac da truest, some cat called gunther and young buck
    oh, wait a minute there, can u not do the math?
    u said dere was 3, but thats 4 men in the bath
    a snicker, a chuckle, a slap on the knee
    u silly fool, macdatruest has 2 sit wen he pee!

    • macdatruest

      Fantastic. You win.

  • chillin mayne

    victory accepted…and a very valiant effort from mac…give urself a hand!