Never mind the 12th anniversary of Biggie Smalls’ death.
12 years isn’t an important anniversary anyway, unless you’re a woman, in which case you think any ol’ anniversary is an important anniversary. I mean, I could see if it was the third anniversary of me blogging for this site, which will be taking place later this week. (Damn, I’ll have to come up with something.)
Also, I’d say we’ve about had our fill of Biggie Smalls nostalgia this year, what with the release of that silly-looking biopic. (No, I never did get around to seeing it.) We should be good until at least the 15th anniversary.
Unless Diddy has found a way to extract DNA from Biggie’s corpse and have a scientist over in Russia somewhere create a clone (you know the thought has crossed his mind), I don’t want to hear about it.
The only thing I was checking for today is Elliott Wilson’s new site RapRadar.
I was less psyched than I would have been, since I caught the sneak preview courtesy of Miss Info, aka the King of the Internets, and it confirmed a lot of what I’d suspected, and since I read last night on Twitter that the site wouldn’t be up until noon, for whatever reason.
As it turns out, I didn’t roll off of the couch today until damn near noon out here in the flyover states anyway, i.e. 1 p.m. Elliott Wilson time. No, I didn’t sleep half the day just so I could wake up as RapRadar was coming online. I’ve been working like a Hebrew slave at the BGM, and I was up late last night dealing with some ol’ bullshit, as the Beastie Boys would say.
So, I woke up and checked RapRadar, and wouldn’t you know, it had that same dumbass down for maintenance message it’s had for the past few months now. It didn’t make sense to me why the site would be down already, or wouldn’t have been launched in the first place. Based on the preview, it’s obviously up and running, behind that maintenance wall.
Maybe he felt guilty at the last minute and decided to come up with some actual content. In the preview, all there is is a picture of himself sitting on his desk in his new offices; a picture of LL Cool J, with a link to an audio file of something or other; a picture of Kanye West and his beard Amber Rose in funny-looking sunglasses; and so on and so forth.
I couldn’t help but be reminded of when I was able to get a glimpse at some of the RapRadar content a few weeks ago, through cunning use of a technology known in tech circles as an RSS feed. It was roughly the same as the shit you see in the preview, except it may have been even less relevant to hip-hop. As I recall, there was a press release about Soulja Boy visiting Niagra Falls copied and pasted in full, and there may have been some shit about professional basketball.
Or was that his podcast?
Anyhoo, I posted a link to it on my site, and he flipped the fuck out on me. He posted this video in which he keeps calling me fuck boy over and over, and talking about how I’ve never been properly fucked, because no woman will touch me, and how I should change the name of my site to ThisIsFuckBoy.com. Perhaps you’ve seen it.
He better hope he never gets dragged into court in a custody battle, in which that could be used against him. But I guess that’s not gonna be in the cards for him, now is it?
To his credit, I’m sure he’s got a lot more up his sleeve than just – as some d-bag in the comments section here once termed it – “bored hoodrat blogging.” As we learned in the exclusive preview, there’s a tab at the top of his site for interviews. And who knows how many other videos of himself he’s taken in the past several weeks. There might even be some more videos about me.
The question is: how is any of this shit gonna make Elliott Wilson the Perez Hilton of hip-hop? Which is his stated goal, according to his own press release. Then there’s the fact that the design of the site has clearly been inspired by Perez Hilton. And I wouldn’t be surprised if whatever deal Elliott has with Eminem’s manager, Paul Rosenberg, involved him invoking Perez Hilton’s name, and the ridonkulous amount of money he makes.
I’ve been in this game since before you even knew there was such a game, and you guys know I make what Bubba the Love Sponge likes to refer to as Dog Piss Jones. And I can’t imagine that even the top earners in this field are making anywhere near what Perez Hilton makes. Is it because the design of my site isn’t similar enough to Perez Hilton’s? Or could it be that Elliott Wilson knows something about hip-hop blogging that I don’t know?
For years now, I thought the way to make it in hip-hop blogging was to cynically appeal to people’s worst instincts, by posting links to sites where you can illegally download music, and pictures of celebrities, which of course are gonna appeal to women. Elliott’s obviously got the pictures of celebrities part down, but it doesn’t look like he’s gonna be bootlegging people’s shit. I’m not even sure if he could, being down with Eminem’s manager, Paul Rosenberg. The TIs would never go for that, would they?