Hip-hop’s new favorite white woman

There’s obviously some PR shenanigans going on to try to sell the black community on the fat Kardashian sister, Khloe.

I checked World Star, an hour or so ago, looking for some softcore pr0n, to start the day out right, and I saw there was a video of Khloe Kardashian denying any relationship between herself and Jay-Z. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, other than that it was kinda weird that she’d be issuing a statement with regard to her relationship with Jay-Z, when it’s not like there were any rumors of her and Jay-Z getting it on. I didn’t even bother watching it at the time.

I wouldn’t have thought anything more of it, except I checked Sandra Rose, to see if any homosexuals had been outed today, and I saw this picture of her and Young Jeezy, beneath a headline about how she hasn’t been getting it on with Young Jeezy.

The fuck?

Whether or not she let Jeezy, or Jay, or whomever hit it is – to me – neither here nor there. For all we know she might not have. But the picture of her and Young Jeezy is one of those pictures where it’s obvious, from the look on his face, that, regardless of whether or not he has dropped a gem on her, he definitely would, if given the opportunity.

The thing is, she looks like a real cow in this picture. She’s wearing this low-cut dress that shows lots of skin, and it isn’t doing her any favors at all. It reminds me of the time I saw Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks, with the girl from Sleater-Kinney on drums, at Lollapalooza. For some reason, they had a camera trained on her back the entire time, and it would periodically be shown on the Jumbotron. Every time she hit the drums, it would cause her back fat to jiggle in these huge waves. It was on of the grosser things I’ve ever seen, but I’m not gonna lie – I couldn’t help but keep looking up at it. I don’t know if it was the lingering effects of slavery on my psyche, or what.

Obviously, there’s something similar going on with Khloe Kardashian: They tried to sell her to the white community, similar to how they did her older sister, Kim, with that shoe on E! and what have you, and cracka-ass crackas took one look at her and were like, “You can’t be serious, can you?” So a big meeting was held, and it was decided that, even if white guys decided to take a pass on her, black guys might still like her. You know they profess to liking their women a little bit chunky[1].

Hence, the pictures of her all hugged up with Young Jeezy (I hope he hit that, if only on general principle), and the rumors that she might be next in line to get herpes, aka the stanky lip, from Jay-Z. Normally, the next step would be a spread in one of these black men’s magazines, like King. If you remember, a year or so ago, King put Kim Kardashian on the cover and tried to play it up as crossing some sort of color line. I was upset they couldn’t get an actual white chick. Then rumors spread that the staff over there is made up of a buncha black dudes who live to date white chicks, i.e. my kinda niggas. Nullus. However, Khloe Kardashian might even be a bit too busted for King. She might have to settle for that black men’s magazine published by the guys who do Feds, where they’ll run pictures of any ol’ woman, provided she’s got a huge ass. And that probably wouldn’t do much for her career, now would it?

You may recall that I mentioned Khloe Kardashian in a post here not too long ago, but before it was all trendy. I can’t remember which post it was, but it was in the context of one of these rappers needing to do a sex tape with her, in order to get his career in order. Admittedly, this was a bit of wishful thinking. I’d seen a picture of her on one of these sites that specialize in publishing pictures of celebrities for pervy old men and young kids to rub one out to, and I thought to myself, Well, isn’t she cute. But I had made the mistake of focusing primarily on her face, and not the rest of her body. (When will I learn my lesson?) I probably shouldn’t say this, but Khloe looks more anglo in the face than her older sister, and hence is just that much more attractive to me. It’s too bad her body is such a mess.

[1] Though it’s the rare occasion when you see a brother with some money in his pocket walking around with a huge woman. But that’s a topic for another discussion.

  • Pierzy

    Isn’t this the girl that Dice was talking about on Stern this morning?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Maybe. I won’t catch it till later.

      • Pierzy

        I think it is. He said that he likes girls with “some beef on them” or something akin to that…

  • og bobby j

    i’d still smash…but i’d tell people i was drunk and thought it was kim. Side note – the other sister is the dopest one…

    • 619

      Yeah, the shortest sister is kinda proper, but damn Kim got that body. Funny how jealous Reggie Bush gets over a broad that got famous for suckin’ up Ray J on video to promote his comeback attempt album. Reggie’s supposed to be connected to one of the hardest neighborhoods out here. haha.
      Before I go
      Please donate my brain to captain save a ho

      • BIGNAT

        OH SHIT LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

      • BGZ

        Yeah, Kourtney, the oldest – she looks Mexican (their mom should be shot for these names).

        Kim is also very hot as long as she don’t speak – she got that Paris Hilton voice.
        If she’d have a deeper, more ethnic, Salma Hayek-voice it would make her 10 times hotter. She isn’t too active in bed, either.

        If I was Young Jeezy I’d still be smacking Keyshia Cole’s shit – you could tell she likes the dick.

  • amar

    she looks gross.

    i don’t doubt young jeezy hit it, but i dont get why. These rappers could do a lot better. If i was young jeezy i’d go for the hot non-famous chicks instead of the super ugly famous ones.

  • technai~the comment blogger

    Bol… i really think u outta relax on the white women statement, i think its really detrimental to our race as a people. You are an embarassment, your mother is black, so what the hell does that make her, less attractive than white women? ” buncha black dudes who live to date white chicks, i.e. my kinda niggas” absolutely disgusting statement. I use to love your blogs until you started jus being a straight up hater (jayz being gay, please, u jus mad ’cause he’s giving beyonce the busines, (no young berg)).

    • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

      “You are an embarassment, your mother is black, so what the hell does that make her, less attractive than white women?”

      -actually, wouldn’t it be more problematic if bol was attracted to his mother? i mean, you did use the word “detrimental”, so you probably also learned about freud in the same psych class, and then somehow jumped to thinking about how if you have a black/white/latino/asian mom, you have to be attracted to that exact type of woman. naturally. i mean, it makes perfect sense, right?

  • afafaf

    Yeah she’s busted.

    But the 3rd sister is hot

  • Bobo D

    If she hit the gym she might end up looking like Xena the warrior princess.

  • Josh

    Um…Forget her body. She is not even remotely cute in the face.

    Not to mention the fact that Kim isn’t cute either with no makeup on.

    Oh and isn’t Khloe only like 22? I coulda sworn she was the oldest by the way she looks.

    • 619

      Oh yeah, where was I before the damn old lady Jehovah’s Witness started knockin’ on my door to give me another Watchtower mag.

      1 thing I believe in about Khloe and other chunky women who have takin’ me shoppin’ for kicks and helped pay my rent when I was unemployed:
      “If she pay like she way
      then you can stay baby” or
      “She gotta pay like she weigh wet with two pairs of clothes on”

  • http://www.xxlmag.com jackpot

    Man, I peeped that video and was thinking how unbelievable that rumor was. I don’t know about Khloe, Bol. I think I gotta go with Kim. The other sister will do too.

  • black

    ” buncha black dudes who live to date white chicks, i.e. my kinda niggas”

    Yo that shit had me rolling…Bol your a fool for that one..lol.. but your honest tho.

  • these posts are racist

    RIP to their father. An Armenian who worked hard, became a successful attorney and music industry exec only to have his daughters reduced themselves to this…a stain on his legacy indeed.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Ask me about the stain on that nigga’s sofa. I used to fux with Kim and Kourtney for a while back in ’02-’03, but Khloe? Never that. She used to hear us getting busy and come knocking on the door trying to come in and join us and shit, but we’d just quiet down or start making snoring sounds like we were asleep or something. Usually after about 5 minutes, she’d get hungry and go to the kitchen to eat something. One time she caught all three of us in the act and threatened to tell her mother about us. I was like “Your mothe…Who? Kris? Shiiiit…Who you think is working the camera?” And Khloe turned around and sure enough, there is her mom filming the whole thing. It was a fun winter for sure, but like any good feast, it had to come to an end. Kim started seeing black dudes, Kourtney get herself in with some bitch ass cracker niggaz and Khloe…well, Khloe still stalks me til this day, but that’s the kinda crazy shit that goes down, mang–it’s just another day in the life of a White Nigga…

      –OG Matt Herbz–

  • geico lizard

    Fugly Kardashian is behind both her sisters and even her mom in the looks department but I bet she is a freakazoid in bed. The slutty ugly chick usually trumps the stuck up cute chick everytime.

  • Enlightened

    Bol,

    Do you seriously like white women and find them more attractive than Black women or is that just your schtick?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      I believe it’s every man’s duty to get with the best-looking woman possible, regardless of race.

      In America, for a number of reasons, that means a white chick more often than it does a black chick.

      • Enlightened

        No….see. That’s your opinion and you think that’s normal. That’s cool for you. But you’re one of these dudes that actually think the rest of us are in denial. You think if we don’t date white women, it’s because of pride or racial politics.

        No. WHITE WOMEN DO NOT LOOK AS GOOD AS BLACK WOMEN TO ME! Or Latino, or Asian women for that matter. They’re like on the bottom of the totem pole for me.

        The so-called best looking white women such as who… I guess Angelina Jolie would fall in the middle to lower end of the pack. Who looks better to you Lisa Raye or Angelina Jolie? To me it’s not even close, it’s Lisa Raye, and I don’t eve put her at the top of the Black woman list.

        You answered my question though. You really find white women more attractive, but understand this dog, you’re in the minority. That’s not what most Black men think. I can’t tell if you be serious or what when you act like you think that’s how most Black men feel.

  • latino heat

    to Geico Lizard, truer words have never been spoken. one time a few years back i had a chick with a bad ass body, face was cute not a dime though. and a average chick all the way around. the average chick was a SUPER DUPER FREAK! the bad chick was boring. you know who i stuck with!

  • Jhon da Analyst

    “buncha black dudes who live to date white chicks, i.e. my kinda niggas”

    That’s some funny shit Bol…..I can’t say I agree with the white chick/black chick thing but I respect your views. Plus, at least your honest about your shit. Gotta love it… “Excuse me sista, could you tap that white girl for me”…….LOL forgot what movie

    • Bobo D

      ‘Dont be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood’
      A classic Wayans brother movie, so many quotables:

      Dashiki:
      My name is Dashiki. Thats Swahili for ‘Doggystyle’

      • EmCDL

        Classic movie LMAO

        Dude went thru all the brickhouses and went after the woodstock chick haha

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    Kim and Courtney=Instant Smash, just add my dick LOL

    Khloe on the other hand….I don’t know Bol…I looked at that pic of her and Jeezy and even her face ain’t all that cute. Maybe if she go to the gym and get on that Acai Berry ish then I might fuck with her (like I would really have the chance LOL).

    But at the same time, they are the freakiest chicks too! So if I was drunk….

  • anutha_level

    ….i’d creampie that ho.

  • Master Cheef

    ah, the bol-meister, coming thru with a banger (nhjic). lot of quotables.

    dont be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in da hood = one of the greatest movies of all time.

    jeezy looking like a pimp in that photo. that girl is definitely fuckable.
    “if you feeling like a pimp nigga; go on, brush your shoulders off”

    *sets joint down, brushes shoulder off*

  • Master Cheef

    don’t forget that boy told you get that dirt off your shoulder.

  • Rex Banner

    Call me a grimy ass black dude that fucks fat white chicks all you want! I would beat that up all the way!! I love me some white women!! Even if they are fat! lol

  • macdatruest

    Khloe Khardasian 22%
    Master Cheef 10%

    • Master Cheef

      Ladies is pimps, too. Go on, brush your shoulder off.

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