2009 DDN Tournament Bracketology – Selection Monday Ceremony
Ron Mexico: Welcome back to ESDN First Hate. Ron Mexico here, joined by Hubert Davis and 2008 SDN Champion, R. Kelly.
R. Kelly: Whattup, Mexico?
Hubert Davis: Hey, Ron.
RM: Gentlemen, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. March Madness is finally upon us and it’s time to get our brackets together for the dumbest of the dumb niggas. The SDNs barely filled up a 32-team field. Hubert, do you think Hip-Hop’s DDNs can go 64?
HD: Well, I’d like to see the tournament expanded. Every year there are tons of worthy contenders who miss the boat because of the television presence of some of the power conferences, and I think it’s pretty unfair, Ron.
RM: *confused look* I’m sorry?
HD: Well, a bubble team like Binghamton just making their first dance might have been excluded if they didn’t win their conference tournament. I think they deserve to be here regardless. As far as the Elite 8 goes, I’m thinking Wake Forest will survive some pretty tough matchups to make things interesting in a tournament that’ll likely be dominated by Big East and ACC ballclubs.
RM: Nigga… What? *shakes head* R. Kelly, you’ve actually participated in this kind of thing. What say you?
RK: Umm… Define “tournament.”
RM: *Toure stare* Umm… a contest in which—
RK: I’m fuckin with you, Ron. I been knowin what that is. *giggles* I’m thinking Jim Jones is a early favorite, especially right now with his late season performance.
RM: Okay, now why don’t you fill out this paper bracket with the names of your selections? *hands R. Kelly pen and bracket paper* You know how this works, right?
RK: *stunned gaze* *now angry* You know damn well I can’t r—
RM: I’m fucking with you. *smiles*
RK: Oh. *under breath* Asshole.
RM: Alright, you viewers out there. This is where you help us create and rank a field of contestants for the big fucking dance! Nominate and/or rank as many contestants as you see fit. The ESDN staff will take your suggestions into the utmost consideration as we rank and design brackets… That is, of couse, unless you’re a fucking moron.
Jim Jones – *
Soulja Boy Tellem – *
Yung Berg – *
Parlae of Dem Franchize Boyz
K-Ci & Jojo
[* – secured automatic bid]
Questions? Comments? Requests? Expect to see Wake Forest in the Final Four? email@example.com