If I wasn’t as lazy and drunk as I am so often I would have inserted [ll] this drop so that you could have read this shit first thing in the morning before you go to homeroom or wherever high school cats go at 8am. Alas, You will have to hear more about the story of Chris Brown going all UFC on his alleged girlfriend Rihanna.
I say alleged because we all know that Chris Brown prefers to wear nuttsachs like a Van Dyke right? We all know this right? Okay, good we have that out of the way. So the question remains why would Chris Brown get into a catfight with Rihanna anyhoo, since the likelihood of them arguing over fidelity is nil. They are more likely to be upset with each other over sharing the same dude.
I think Rihanna made the mistake of calling out Chris Brown’s sexuality in front of people that aren’t in the ghey cipher. You know, that cabal that runs the entertainment industry. Most people think its the t.I.’s that run this rap shit but in actuality it’s the ghey t.I.’s. Rihanna gets all liquored up at the pre-Grammy party (you know the alcohol and other treats *ahem* flow freely at these events right?) and then she tells Chris Brown that he is just a dancing fag like Alvin Ailey.
Chris Brown wanted to cry, but he held it in until they got in the limo taking them to the house they were renting (separate rooms, but of course). He finally bust out into tears inside the car and he really wanted to pinch Rihanna’s arm, but because her forehead is like eightheads he couldn’t help it but to touch her above the neck. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t want to bust her lip open, even if that is what he ended up doing.
I’m not here to defend Chris Brown. He is a sweetchuck though, and those dudes are just as likely to fight with a chicks because they think they are one too. In this new technological age Chris Brown should celebrate the achievement that from now on whenever someone gets domestically abusive with their chick we will say that fool “Chris Brown’d” his broad. At the end of the day being remembered for anything is all you can hope for in an era of disposable entertainment.