Rainhats Still >>> Umbarellas-ellas-ellas…


If I wasn’t as lazy and drunk as I am so often I would have inserted [ll] this drop so that you could have read this shit first thing in the morning before you go to homeroom or wherever high school cats go at 8am. Alas, You will have to hear more about the story of Chris Brown going all UFC on his alleged girlfriend Rihanna.

I say alleged because we all know that Chris Brown prefers to wear nuttsachs like a Van Dyke right? We all know this right? Okay, good we have that out of the way. So the question remains why would Chris Brown get into a catfight with Rihanna anyhoo, since the likelihood of them arguing over fidelity is nil. They are more likely to be upset with each other over sharing the same dude.

I think Rihanna made the mistake of calling out Chris Brown’s sexuality in front of people that aren’t in the ghey cipher. You know, that cabal that runs the entertainment industry. Most people think its the t.I.’s that run this rap shit but in actuality it’s the ghey t.I.’s. Rihanna gets all liquored up at the pre-Grammy party (you know the alcohol and other treats *ahem* flow freely at these events right?) and then she tells Chris Brown that he is just a dancing fag like Alvin Ailey.

Chris Brown wanted to cry, but he held it in until they got in the limo taking them to the house they were renting (separate rooms, but of course). He finally bust out into tears inside the car and he really wanted to pinch Rihanna’s arm, but because her forehead is like eightheads he couldn’t help it but to touch her above the neck. I’m pretty sure that he didn’t want to bust her lip open, even if that is what he ended up doing.

I’m not here to defend Chris Brown. He is a sweetchuck though, and those dudes are just as likely to fight with a chicks because they think they are one too. In this new technological age Chris Brown should celebrate the achievement that from now on whenever someone gets domestically abusive with their chick we will say that fool “Chris Brown’d” his broad. At the end of the day being remembered for anything is all you can hope for in an era of disposable entertainment.

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  • amar

    i heard from a dude from trinidad who knows a dude from barbados who knows a chick in barbados who knows rihana that rihana was a slut in highschool…lol…

    either way though, i agree, no way in hell chris brown could go ufc on ri. If anything, she beat the shit outta him. Actually, maybe it was self defence. Rihana is the gsp of r&b…

    • OG Matt Herbz

      I can’t speak on the > 17 epoch, but from 18 until she graduated, I wore that shit out before I dropped her off, during lunch break, sometimes during class break, and after school when I picked her up. Your friend’s friend’s friend got wore out, too. I helped Rihanna ace Algebra II, senior year, and she’d make beautiful music when she was cumming–the only currency I ever demanded of her.

      –OG Matt Herbz–


    Billy your wrong, i heard they share dildos and she left herpe shavings on it.

    • amar

      LOL *bow*

  • Pierzy

    “…the likelihood of them arguing over fidelity is nil. They are more likely to be upset with each other over sharing the same dude.”

    Ha!! I think Chris Brown was upset because someone called Rihanna “pretty” and he doesn’t like anyone being prettier than him.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com tony grand$

      Could’ve been much, umm, more pathetic.

      Imagine the headlines reading, “Singer Chris Brown hacks lover Rihanna to pieces, following Awards Party argument”.

      That would’ve been the ultimate cat fight.

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    OG Herbz would have been hardbody if he came out and admitted that Rihanna got the herpes from him

    Matter of fact I may just have to start calling sonn Matt OG Herpz

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Never that, Billy. Never that. In fact, my testis produce semen fortified with antibodies that not only keep myself STD-free, but also cure the ails of any girl I copulate with–I’m working on a distribution deal with GNC–hold tight, my niggaz.

      Besides, I landed on Rihanna before she could have benefited from it. Back then, I just popped on her lips for fun…

      –OG Matt Herbz–

      • DA TRUTH

        you dont need GNC for a distribution. just send Jizzed filled ballon in the air and when it pops it will spinkle down to the earth. Kind of how the city does the bug spray. and when jigs holla at a chick. all they gotta do is ask her “did you feel it sprinkling today?”.
        co sign that for me billy.

      • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL


    • Sleepy Wonder

      How about “Herpules”

      • amar

        this is hilarious…introduce herpes into a rap conversation and u’ve got yourself the funniest shit ever. Shit, ron mexico’s blogger name is based on this principle

  • geico lizard

    Co-sign billy the pink mafia runs shit and they inflate the hiv/aids numbers so the government will pump more money into finding a cure.

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    You are my internets homey Da Truth, but I WILL NOT co-sign another man’s jism raining down on me.


    • DA TRUTH

      didnt rihanna tell you to carry an umbrulla (ey ey ey).

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com tony grand$

      Yall dudes is bugging out.


      Sounds like I need to take her “umbrella” advice.

  • Shawty J

    Reading two XXL blogs going in on Chris Breezy has put me in a good mood.

  • Avenger XL

    This has nothing to do with hip-hop. WHy is this a discussion? XXL is so shitty I come here to see what B.S. they pass off for hip-hop discussion. Now they are on some ultra gutter bossip shit. Kinda hoe made if you ask me. Not to mention who cares what celebs do if you are stupid to run up in a famous girl unprotected and she aint been tested then you need to whoop your own ass first and kick her to the curb. Luckily this is the pimps up era/community and they don’t give two shits about they women anyway right now(see R KellY).

  • http://iloverihanna vv