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Mr. Collipark: A Relative Peacemaker

My weekend has been made whole by two things, the rise of Krypto-NATE and Martin Luther Collipark, jr. preaching about the appropriate uses of EweChoube and World Star Hip-Hop.

In principle, I agree with almost everything Collipark has to say in his filibuster. So-called artists without any “relative” content to speak of seek notoriety from goonery, coonery and buffoonery. Listeners need to challenge artists to make good music instead of goading them on in battles of baby-mama kidnappings and filmed door knockings. Yahhh, bitch. Yahhh.

This tirade might actually have made sense and had positive effect had it come from any other executive in music. Instead it comes from a man who has just rode a tidal wave of the bullshit he denounces into a monumental bomb of a sophomore release.

One might wonder where these words of conventional wisdom had been hiding when his golden goose, Soulja Man Told’ Em, was making 500 installments of Rich Nigga Shit for the CoonTube audience. Instead of working on a sophomore album or ringtone single worth a squirrel fart, Mr. Boy yapped about Gucci trashcans and other miscellaneous Rich Nigga Shit until getting Rich Nigga Robbed.

I’m amazed at how oblivious Collipark seems to be regarding his role in developing and capitalizing off of the fuckery and visual excess he denounces.

“All these YouTube videos and shit goin around is hurtin the industry! If you ain’t got a relative single out and you talking about anything other than hot new dances and pink slip Lamborghini races, then I do not know what you are doing with your life. You might as well kill yourself.”

–Or take that goon shit over to Vlad TV.

Collipark suggests a more appropriate alternative to flooding channels reserved for music (and Collipark artist) promotion would be to place such videos on sites earmarked specifically for foolhardy behavor.

Here I’ve been all this time thinking that’s what WSHH was for. I know damn well when I go to WSHH at 3 in the morning, I’m not looking for new, relative music. I’m looking for NIGGAS.

No nullus.

How do you suggest making a site for the fuckery, on the site for the fuckery? Does Collipark go to McDonalds and tell everyone they need to be eating their cheeseburgers in a fast-food environment? The CNN of nigger babble exists for people to talk about shooting each other without having to mention any of that silly music business bullshit. Rappers think about making totally relative music all the live-long day. They come to WSHH to get that shit off their minds.

If for nothing else, Collipark earns a full-strength Negro Pleasing for even trying to address the WSHH audience intelligently.


Questions? Comments? Requests? Need an iMovie tutorial?

P.S.: “Turn My Swag On” is the hottest record in Atlanta? Sheeeeit! Gyant, tell me it ain’t SOHH!

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