Lil’ Kim: Turning Blackanese?

Lil' Kim (green) and recently-discovered cousin

Lil Kim (left, jade) and adopted cousin.

I know this issue is a bit of a throwback by now and the information is second-hand at best, but for what was originally supposed to be Notorious O.B.A.M.A. week, I must weigh in on reports of our favorite rap sexpot, Lil’ Kim wanting to be portrayed by an Asian actress.

“Lil’ Kim wasn’t really a champion of this movie… She really didn’t support this movie because she wanted to have more control. I understand if some is portraying you, you want to have control — but there’s only but there’s only so much control you can have. She didn’t want Naturi [Naughton] to play her… She wanted an Asian girl to play her. So we’re all praying for Lil’ Kim’s mental stability and everything.” Dennis White, ThatsHipHop.com via ReelLoop.com

Kim’s issues with her portrayal in the film have been no secret, but according to White–who plays Damion “D-Roc” Butler in Notorious—Queen Bee not only was unhappy with the fact that she felt the film made her look like a skeet-n-beat, but that Lucy Liu wasn’t cast for the role.

And here I was thinking that Foxy Brown was the “China Doll.” Eh, I can’t always tell these two apart. The first time I heard “Paper Chase” on Jay-Z’s album, I thought it was Kim. Foxy and Kim just need to conjoin, form a super slutcee and get it all over with.

[Blogger’s Note: Foxy Brown was the blackest china doll I ever seen. Maybe it was the Beijing smog-covered edition.]

If you ask me, this chick done seen the “Thoia Thoing” video one too many times. The images rappers fall asleep to blunts on never cease to amaze me. R. Kelly has a way of hypnotizing impressionable black women into believing shit they otherwise wouldn’t—like that his urine is good for acne.

Turning Japanese. I think she’s turning Japanese. I really think so.

[Blogger’s Note: I want the R. Kelly remix of that song to happen NOW! Eh, I guess "Thoia Thoing" was his rendition. Nevermind.]

Perhaps the collagen and scalpel sessions are to blame here. Plastic surgery will fuck up one’s view of self. Rather, plastic surgery will fuck it up more than it already was fucked before the final decision to go under the knife. I find the self-loathing involved to be super poignant on the heels of Notorious’ MLK/Obama weekend release?

For shame, Kimmy.

I know her face has been stretched and pulled in all kinds of different directions whereas her eyes might be a little… ummm…. permanently squinty, but this is fucking ridiculous. Even if she can produce a birth certificate that says “parent: Fu Yuen Chen,” she ain’t so much as looked Asian before she hit that surgery table for the 5th or 6th time too many.

She ain’t even look touchdown. Ordering enough chicken and broccoli to get a lifetime membership at Wing Lee on Nostrand doesn’t make you honorary Asian.

Turning Blackanese? Perhaps.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Wanna talk out some identity issues of your own? ron@ronmexicocity.com

Maybe she can ride out on Joe Budden in a diss track and be Miss Saigon.

Okay, I’m done. I promise.

I just remember when she was black and proud.

I just remember when she was black and proud.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Botox is the new rich crack.

  • sealsaa

    I don’t believe she said that, and if she did, its a serious cry for either attention or professional help. Incedently, Naturi did a good job, and she’s got some nice titties. Just thought i’d throw that out there.

  • Jamal7Mile

    Which Asian girl in the pic is Lil Kim? I fking don’t know, man!

    *scroll up to pic*
    *looks again*
    *breaks out in cold sweat*
    *scrolls back down*

    Oh shit, noooo…

    *throws up*
    *signs off…..*

  • $ykotic

    That ain’t Kim. That’s baby dee!

    Look like she been getting that work done @ Albee Sq Mall. I wonder if that’s her butt fat in her face!

    Damn ma. Come home. We still love you.

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    Michael Jackson???

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    she lost.

  • ri067953

    Yo, what happend to miss fat kitty? Now she wanna fry up a kitty and eat it like she chinese, oh no…

  • latino heat

    in the new vibe with kanye on the cover they got a article about the movie and they said she wanted christina millian to play her. i laughed hard enough at that comment, but lucy liu? HA HA HA! this girl is losing it. she should be happy with the job naturi did, kim NEVER looked as good as naturi did in the movie.

  • anutha_level

    i’d still creampie that ho…

    • Dub Sac

      You’d run in raw? Ewww.

      • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

        bwahaahahaha!

        i can’t co-sign lil kim raw dog.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com tony grand$

          Yuck, like hittin a blow-up doll with the ability to walk & talk.

          I bet that’s what a Ken doll has wet dreams about.

          Her plastic surgeon has got to laugh everytime she comes into the office.

          She looks like she smoked the illest weed ever, & then had an allergic reaction.

        • amar

          more like a blow-up doll with the ability to walk & talk after magic johnson did his thing all over her

    • DV8

      please tell me you are talking about Nautari and not the real Lil Kim. I thought Ray J was the only dude alive nasty enough to hit KIM.

      • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

        AND whitney. don’t forget whitney.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sniperskaos Kaos

    Wow. That shit is RIDICULOUS!

    • Pierzy

      Maybe she’s trying to look like Ave Devine or Mika Tan…

      • Arcey

        Mika Tan is meeeaaan!!!

  • El Tico Loco

    Bout time!

    That pic looks like Margaret Cho(The Notorious C.H.O.) that ain’t Kim on the top (is it? dam)
    what happened to her neck? where did it go? Guess when she said “no time for fake ones” she wasn’t talkin about her tittays. And wassup with the pouch? she ain’t got no kids!

    But who am I to front I would get in line and hit that too.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com tony grand$

    “Hey, look, isn’t that Kim Catrell?”

  • Shawty J

    Hilarious.

    “R. Kelly has a way of hypnotizing impressionable black women into believing shit they otherwise wouldn’t—like that his urine is good for acne.”

    Especially that.

  • anutha_level

    yessir, i SURE would. all them “false body” chemicals runnin throughout her would SURELY kill any “extra” shit. c’mon, check the SCIENCE! radiation therapy kills almost EVERYTHING man! somebody GOTTA feel me on that shit….lol, at least on a drunken level anyway. anybody else would raw dawg that biatch…….somebody???????

  • amar

    my post’s not showing up. I was saying something to the effect of me popping a xxl when seeing notorious cause the chick who played kim was daaaaaaaamn hot.

    “i would wreck that chick. I. Would. Wreck. That. Chick.” -Brian, Family Guy

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com tony grand$

    Yall talkin bout hittin that raw, fuck round be standin in the delivery room when she gives birth to a plastic mold of the inside of her uterus. Oww Wee!

    • anutha_level

      lmao, nigga you wild! good shit tho…

  • FlapJack

    gotta love that thoia thoing!
    What you know about rapping wit nunchucks?

  • Nessia

    Y’all nigs is nasty, talkin bout hittin that raw. We all know Kim sucked and fucked her way to the top, and that her self-hate knows no bounds. This is the woman that said being black was never good enough for her mm-kay?

  • kashrulz

    Homie, I’d rather bone Remy Ma in jail right now, then let lil kim even suck me off.

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Tony Grand$………you wild

  • BIGNAT

    KIM LOOKING BAD SHE LOOKING LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON BEEN DOING HER MAKEUP.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

      ahhhhhh. she got a light-skinned friend look like michael jackson…

  • c b w

    She went from Lil Kim to Lil Kimchi.

  • brand-new

    maybe she should start a chain of kim’s nails in the hood…..oh wait……….nevermind

  • http://www.myspace.com.emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    “Foxy and Kim just need to conjoin, form a super slutcee and get it all over with.”

    Damn Ron you stay ethering! LMAO!

    And hells no I’d never hit that shit raw…I wouldn’t hit it with a condom…I wouldn’t hit it with a stick, bat, battering ram, and whatever else that would contribute to me distancing myself from that slut.

    Would like her to come back to the rap game though…her and Foxy lol

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