Katt Williams: A Simp Named Slickback?
As Christmas inched toward New Year's Day, Dark & Lovely spokes-leprechaun Katt Williams confused the fuck out of me by attacking Steve Harvey and threatening to steal his comedy crown during a joint NYE performance in the coooold-ass D.
While Jamie Foxx chose to endorse his former Dubba-dubba-WB slotmate, I maintain that Steve Harvey is a major-league coon. I don't care how lean a nigga pockets get, there is some shit I just can't endorse. Fucking Denny's is high atop that list.
I also agree that it's impossible for Steve Harvey to be one of the Original Kings of Comedy when countless comics before him took this shit to heights Mr. Hightower has never seen. All I remember from Harvey's portion of the inaptly-named special is a tired-ass chuuuch routine and his official audition for the position of oldies station on-air personality.
[Blogger's Note: Bernie motherfuckin' Mac earned the motherfuckin' namesake that motherfuckin' night.]
"Awwwww, this was my jam back in the damn day! What y'all young bucks know about this Earth, Wind & Fire?! *snickering alone*"
For all of the stones thrown before and during the Detriot NYE performance, Katt Williams speaks like a man who wasn't sitting Indian-style in a padded cell singing "Endless Love" into a limited-edition Marsha Brady hairbrush just a week ago.
As soon as he started poppin off, all I could remember was how this nigga couldn't so much as order a cheeseburger from room service without forgetting his own name. I done seent the video. Holler if you hear me, now.
Katt Williams just came out the damn crazy house. Why aren't niggas just ignoring him like society does the rest of the mentally ill? His tactics now include those seen from desperate rappers on the verge of moving back into the projects with grandma-nana'nem. I guess he hasn't exactly been on the streets to see how well the kicking and screaming routine has been working out for 50 Cent and Soulja Boy, but pimps are supposed to be naturally intuitive creatures.
Maybe when Williams finally came to, the Dipset chain on his dresser was the only clue to remind him of who he was. That's pretty fucking sad as Jim Jones, Juelz Santana and Freekey Zeekey have long since redeemed their shits at the recycling center.
This back-and-forth EweToube beef doesn't go over well for rappers. It's damn sure not gonna work for comedians.
As much disdain as I harbor for T-Pain's incessant Auto-Tune whining, as far as we all know he discretely covered for Williams at the onset of his toddler spaz. I'm not gonna go as far as to say homeboy's been on drugs or anything, because I don't know the man. But given the series of events in Money Mike's life to end 2008, it's looking more and more like Teddy Pizzle was just the temp who filled in for that one co-worker who "had a little too much fun, Charlie Murphy." He likely could have told the world some pretty foul shit after The Negro Channel Hip-Hop Awards, instead he made up that bullshit story about the breaking contest.
What this nigga Katt should have done was capitalize properly on the initial buzz that came from The Pimp Chronicles, Part 1. That shit was incredible. I have it on my DVR to this fucking day! His Lilliputian ass kicked the door wide-the-fuck open then. All he had to do was come up with some new material, tour a bit and watch the money pile up. Apparently he did all but the foremost, then broke the fuck down before our disappointed eyes.
I love Katt Williams. Some niggas back on Big Green even accused me of being Katt Williams blog alter-ego, but I can't rock with A Pimp Named Slickback on this type of behavior. I do hope he makes a full recovery someday in the not-so-distant future, though.
The first sign would likely be the perm looking correct again, because that shit was looking a little Whitney Houston-ish in the NYE video.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Ready for the 2008 Negro Please Awards set to begin this week? *GASP!* firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S.: Judges also would have accepted, "That [perm] was looking like a lost member of Total."