BLOG: Soulja Boy Loves Massa

Shit like this is why our kids need less supersoaking and more studying. Don’t be ashamed to put little Javon in the slow class if he needs it neither.

“’Shout out to the slave masters,’ SB told Toure. ‘Without them we’d still be in Africa. We wouldn’t be here to get this ice and tattoos.’” -Soulja Boy Tellem, The Daily Beast via XXLMag.com

Toure and that snarky, high-yeller, I’m-better-than-you grin of his have done it again. Officially hip-hop’s current YN of interest, The Negro Channel’s closer reels in another monumental moment of moronic monkey mumble.

[Blogger's Note: Say that shit three times fast. I Amistad Dare you.]

I’ve defended Soulja Boy’s right to be young and fun-loving in the past. Early Halloween evening [when my homegirl Nessia put me on to the original piece] I officially resigned as Soulja Boy’s counsel and Civil Liberties Union representative. Norman Siegel be damned.

I tried to give SB the benefit of the doubt in my mind. I thought, “This is print. Maybe he was joking. How the fuck would I know?” Unfortunately, Toure’s reaction gives zero indication that there was any implied sarcasm in the BAPEville, Alabama-native’s rich nigga rhetoric. I can imagine YN v2.0 gave Soulja the same face he gave R. Kelly when dude answered that famous question with another, more famous question.

“My jaw, at this point, was on the ground.’We wouldn’t be here,’ he continued, having no idea how far in it he’d stepped, ‘to get this ice and tattoos.’”

Mr. Boy’s apparent love for massa provides a whole new perspective on “Yahhhhh, Bitch! Yahhhh!” At first I thought I was wrong to make fun of this direct descendant of Chicken George for his incoherent slave ramblings over dance instrumentals. Now I realize it is our collective responsibility as a people seeking progress to bring him to justice.

Flavor Flav can breathe easy for a spell. He’s free to impregnate skrippers another week while we embark on this international manhunt for the leader of the teen crew with most excessive acronym ever [Sodomite Money Cash Gang or some shit]. Actually, scratch that. Flavor had best continue hiding as I don’t think it’ll take too long to find SB and Aye-rab [Money?]. They’ll be at the damn mall either buying hoodies or playing Time Crisis at the pizza shop.

I guess the question for any aspiring lynch mob is what to do with Soulja Boy once captured.

Also of note is that Soulja Boy is 18 years old and has inexplicably been allowed to vote. He has expressed a desire to exercise his right to stop crankin it for a second to do so. When he provides his signature of “X” and tries to convince poll workers that his grandfather voted, I do sincerely wonder who he’s casting a ballot for. Were it legal for me to speak publicly, make eye contact with white folk or gamble, I’d put a ten whole cents on “Cap’n Jackson.”

In my day an entire bushel of cereal meal only cost a nickel–except for Cap’n Jackson’s brand. It’s particularly crunchy and delicious, but I digress.

As the gift of voting is bestowed upon the nineties baby, it shall soon be repealed for the Negro baby. We’re soooo fuckin done if SB is the voice of this new generation as the onset of the cranking, popping and birdwalking pandemics would indicate.

Doesn’t this ass-ignorant marmoset know that if his ancestors didn’t come here by force centuries ago he likely could have acquired bigger, better pinker diamonds and far more impressive body art while residing on The Dark Continent?

That is, provided he weren’t born into slavery.

Negroes, please… If you have any children in your family you should so happen to love, it is your responsibility to snatch them up and drag them away from the TV whenever you see this top-5 race offender on the screen. You can explain to little Tay and Man-Man later in life. They’ll thank you in 15 years when they’re not incarcerated.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Ever see a bird walk with one foot? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: This the same low-expectation-having embarrassment of a human being who told Tay and Man-Man to strive for barely-passing grades in school.

P.P.S.: Ice and tattoos are akin to the non-entrail parts of the pig a slave would get to eat on holidays.

P.P.P.S.: By “holidays” I mean “whenever massa doesn’t feel like finishing his ham.”

Wamme DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT!

  • Pingback: XXLmag.com - » NEWS: Soulja Boy Thanks Slave Masters: “Without Them, We’d Still Be In Africa”

  • Worley

    “I guess the question for any aspiring lynch mob is what to do with Soulja Boy once captured.”

    Turn him over to the Mau Maus or the Drop Squad.

    • G2

      Co-sign. The Mau Mau would handle this coon properly. This cat really needs to fall off the earth sometime soon. I can’t imagine liking this kid even if I as ten years younger.

  • BIGSCREECH

    Cap’n Jackson is fucking delicious!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i can’t even front. i fucks with the original, the berries and the peanut butter.

  • geico lizard

    ron you had to go in on him because this level of ignorance cant be chalked up to his age because at 18 he is now an adult so he has no excuses and he hasnt popped up on wshh yet so he probably doesnt think he has anything to apologize or explain to anybody. he is happy with his comments and he will come out with a new single,”crank that slavedriver”.

  • capcobra

    thi lil nigga might get a b.e.t or upn show outta this shit.

  • kne81

    LOZ..I knew either you,Bol, or Billy gonna blog somethin about this LOLZ. I’m asian,and even I find what he said to be fucked up. Somebody really need to get this boy mom on the phone quick to straighten his ass out all that money is getting to his head.Shit I don’t care what race you are if you grew up around the hood you know mom dukes don’t play that shit.He’ll be performin his song with big ass bandage on his ass cuz of the ass whoopin.

  • the r

    who is tay and man man…help a trini out…is that a bamboozled (classic underrated spike lee movie) reference?

    • c. gabi

      “Tay” and “Man Man” are really no specific persons, just usual hood/Black nicknames for our little Negro children. Come on now, you’ve never called one of the kids in the fam “Lil Man” or “Pookie”??? I’ve been callin my cousin “Mane” since I was born and just found out 4 yrs ago that man’s real name is Chris!

      • Lowedwn

        basically u liken “tay” & “man-man” to “sleep-n-eat”, just updated

  • Lowedwn

    Damn….With shit like this, I believe the children are the future… of our downfall. I say you u sick Hard Blak and the rest of the Maus Maus on that nigglet, ’cause he’s sounding very Pierre Delacroixish.

  • Detroit P

    i mean, he never said slavery was a good thing…all he was sayin was that without slavery or any part of our past we wouldn’t be where we are today…without slavery alot of things that are here today might not be here..ME for example, Hip hop, peanut butter(there are bigger and better things I could name, but i dont feel like it)..the list goes on…he may have said it in an ignorant sounding way talking about ice and tatoos(?)…that was some dumb shit to be glad about..but I don’t want to live in Africa..If you on that back to Africa, Motherland, roots stuff than take yo ass to Africa then

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      who knows what africa could have been?

      what we could have been? toure speaks to that point briefly in the final para of the parent piece.

      • Detroit P

        We DON’T know what we coulda or woulda been..its pointless to even think about it now…all we know is what we are..and all I know is who I am..and I wouldn’t take that away for any woulda shoulda…you have to go thru bad to get to the good..so I wouldn’t take away any hardships I’ve had in my life because I wouldn’t be who I am without them…but where’s the link to what toure said, I wanna see what he was talkin bout

        • Dub Sac

          But you also haven’t directly experienced slavery, so it’s kinda fucked up to say you’re cool with your ancestors going through all that shit just for you to be who you are. I mean, that’s cool that you can accept yourself (no sarcasm), but Africa might be in better position if it hadn’t sold out its workforce like that.

          And if you had to think of the two biggest benefits of slavery, would you seriously choose ice and tattoos?

        • Detroit P

          about the ice and tattoos..see my first post

          That whole woulda shoulda this far down the line is pointless

          I didn’t have to go thru evolution but i’m glad it happened so I can be who I am today.

          I didn’t have to march and get hosed down or had dogs sicked on me, but I can appreciate that happening, because I am in a better place because of it.

          I didn’t have to fight any world wars…I didn’t kill Jesus..I didn’t do alot of things..but those things that other people did in the past are part of what make me and everybody else who they are today

          If you start talkin bout wanting to go back in the past and changin everything that you don’t like than you are a fool..because you have kno idea what effect that could have…Africa still sells out its workforce today….Its not fucked up at all to look back and say I’m here because all that happened..its a fact..and I’m happy to be here..so…yall self righteous ass niggas need to grow up and accept that good and evil go hand in hand

        • DETROIT

          you sound stupid dog!

          you wouldn’t change the past, BUT I BET THE NIGGAS WHO ACTUALLY WENT THRU IT WOULD! it’s easy to say what you’re sayin since you’re not the one who actually got his ass kicked, or got separated from your family. Slavery fucked up the whole black family structure to this day. THAT SHIT AIN”T COOL. what ever we DO have, i would trade it in a minute for a more unified family structure. if you’re from the d, you know that at least 300 niggas get killed here every year (since ’68)….niggas can’t co-exist. look at these rappers, we’re all about destroying each other (we celebrate selling drugs to our own people!)….that’s a direct result of slavery….YOU NEED TO READ YOUR HISTORY!

        • Smel

          But more importantly, “ice” and “tats” originated in Africa, where the vast majority of the world’s diamond mining is done and where body modifications such as skin dyeing have been performed since ancient times.

          So wtf is Tell ‘Em talkin about? lol

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    LOL WOW…ok i thought soulja boy was a piece of work…but…this is a whole new level lol…omg…hahahahahha god ridiculous

    for once i can’t wait to see what tpar has to say…

    and check out soulja boy blog #6 for soulja boy’s political views..”watched the debate last night..and uh…u know…they both uh had uh good points…but uh…i gotta go wit obama…gnome sayin’?”

    http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • Bobo D

    First rapper to whip the hell outta of soulja boy like a runaway slave and load the footage on the net should get XXL cover.
    Call it ‘How (insert rappers name) saved Hip-Hop’.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      hahahahahaha! i like it.

      i’ll run that up the ladder.

    • kne81

      Damn forget about his music career…it seems like his life is about to be over because of his dumb comments..LOLZ..not that anybody should kill the dumb kid…lolz

    • kne81

      I’m bettin my money it’s gonna be Ice T LOLZ

    • that nigga

      I nominate NaS for obvious reasons.

  • DV8

    SMDH Where is this dudes parents?

    Lets sick Maino and Trick-Trick on him. Yung Herb can breath easy for a minute. He is currently off the hook thanks to SB.

    • DV8

      excuse me I should have used better terminology then the word “sick”. How bout informing Maino and Trick-Trick that they have a new “person of interest” to counsel.

  • Curtis75Black

    If his wack-ass songs don’t kill him, this statement should.

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    First of all, this nigger soulja boy is damn near thirty years old.

  • http://1290wmcs.com “The Party Killa”

    KRS, mite wanna take that CO-Sign back rite about…………………………………………………………………………………………NOW!!!

    • DV8

      True…

    • that nigga

      Yeah, KRS should be turnin In his “hip hop grave”. Yeah, I said It, his career Is over so his SB comment, nobody shoulda took serios even tho we know he (KRS) was serious.

  • EReal

    “Shout Out to all the Slave Masters”

    ^
    Lyor Cohen, STAND UP!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i mean… massa gettin shout outs now?

      • EReal

        I think SB should get some of that Kunta Kinte treatment, chop off his left Yum and get some of that cat-o-nine tail action, as they’re whippin him they can yell, now YOUUUUULLL (WHIP CRACK) Now YOUUULLLL (WHIP CRACK).
        Then see what he has to say about Massa.

        • BIGNAT

          youuuulllllll whip that dum muthafucker
          youuulllllllll whip that dum muthafucker

  • Pierzy

    I’m a white dude and I was offended by Soulja’s quote. Damn man…open a book!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/moneyburnzofficialpage Money Burnz

    Most ignorrant rapper ever…he should be banned from…everywhere….

  • the r

    i blame 50 cent for this…this is what happens when leave the gate open for wack niggas…hip hop died around ’04 or ’05…check the timeline.

    • EReal

      Proof that people will tie 50 into anything.

      Oh shit! Speaking of 50, Massa shout out!!!

      JIMMY IOVINE, STAND UP!!

      • DV8

        LMAO!!!!!

        You aint heard? 50 said “Fuck Jimmy Iovine, he aint my boss” back on Sabrina’s Baby Boy Mixtape. Thats why T.O.S. didnt get the heavy promotion 50 usually gets from Interscope. Well that and the fact that the album was hella weak.

        • EReal

          Yeah right, 50 can scream that all he wants until he needs final album approval, lolz!

          “Im from southside queens, I aint got no fuckin boss”

          Sure 50, and who has final album approval? Massa Iovine does sir, yes sir!

          T.O.S. wasnt really that weak, it only really had one shitty song on it, that Kitty Kat shit was hella fuckin ghey. But even the verses were OK, the hook was just super retarded. Straight Outta Southside is raw tho.

          Either way, 50 isnt even a rapper anymore, he’s a “mogul” bahahahaa.

          I think “Mogul” means dude with a buncha dough who doesnt really do shit anymore. LMAO!

  • giantstepp

    OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!! Millions died during the middle passage, the journey from the shores of Africa to the shores of America. Packed in slave ships like sardines. 300 years of free labor, working from cant see morning til cant see at night. Black women raped at will by the slave master and the overseer. Families broken up FOREVER, babies being sold from there mothers and this fucktard gonna say some ignorant shit like that? Ron Mex, OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

  • BIGNAT

    sb is so fucking dum the reason is because africa is the land of diamonds and gold. all the material shit his dumb ass loves so much is back in africa being shipped over here. where his people african people persent day are still being treated like slaves working in those mines. also for the tattoos that dum fool you can get tattoos almost anywhere on the face of the planet. THIS GUY DOES NOT DESERVE A SINGLE DIME OF ANYONES MONEY NO MATTER WHAT RACE YOU ARE.

  • Vicious Seiger

    Soulja Boy’s Campaign for DDN has just widen his gap in the polls amongst the candidates with his comments on the Black Carpet. Ron, I think he will have no problem being elected our DDN after his recent comments. Whether they were his honest feelings or his sorry ass attempt at sarcasm this man may very well be the answer to America’s Dream of the Ultimate DDN.

  • latino heat

    lmao at ereal’s comments. but back to soulja bitch, what do you expect from someone that failed ninth grade… TWICE!

  • $ykotic

    This is fukking sad. And dudes still got his back????

    Our ancestors died 4 our equality and ya’ll givin this jiggaboo a pass?

    I would’ve bombed him if I was Toure. Fuck the $$.

    Someone get at this little ignorant BOY. Cause that is all he is.

  • $ykotic

    And his mama can’t help him. Blind leading the blind.

    Parents getting peeled off like THEY THE KIDS!

  • brand-new

    and in other news….. rapper j hood wins $5.00 on a scratch off lottery ticket…yay!!!!

    • EReal

      J Hood was quoted as saying..

      “Finally, I get PAID!”

      LMMFAO!

      • kne81

        LMAO!!!

  • Shawty J

    After all the struggle and bullshit that our ancestors went through, Soulja Boy is happy about that because it provides him the opportunity to get ice and tattoos. Soulja Boy is a living example as to why we as people have to do better, to make sure future generations are properly educated.

    I thought dude’s music was ignorant, and he himself as a person is just as ignorant. To go on television and say something like that is flat out embarrassing. People from other countries spend their whole lives trying to come to the United States for a better opportunity at education, careers, and way of living and Soulja Boy is just glad to be here for platinum jewelry and tattoos. Terrible, man, terrible.

    • kne81

      Shit..my family came here to escape the all the fucked war in all of Southeast Asia…anyway somebody really need to smack the fukk outta this dumb kid.

  • gkid12345

    wow, this kid respesents this generation of moronic kids. THIS IS ALL GOVERNMENT INSPIRED, IF PAC WAS HERE OR BIG THEY WOULDVE Choked this nigga by now.

  • Marco317

    Soulja boy was wrong on saying that. He should had known he was gonna offend black people by saying it. But hes a wreckless young rich kid, and feel he can say whatever and get away with it. Personally, I though people were just hating when they dissed his first album and called his music garbage, but now i heard his 1st single off his new album, and is complete senseless, he juz repeat same thing over and over, that is not hip hop…he should juz aplogize, and he should b fine about that comment…by da way i think what he should have said is “shout out to abraham lincoln for freeing da slaves, without him we wouldnt have these ice and tattoes….”

  • http://WWW.GRINDFAMILY.COM YUNG TWEZZY

    THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR MOTHER GETS YOU A COMPUTER AND FRUITY LOOPS TO KEEP YOU OCCUPIED WHILE SHE GOES AND SUCKS DICKS TO MAKE A LIVING.

    LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL. MAKE YOUR KIDS READ SOME BOOKS SO THEY CAN KNOW SOMETHING OTHER THAN “CRANKIN THAT” WHATEVER.

    SOULJA BOY IS A FUCKIN COON(MODERN DAY MINSTREL SHOW). HE MIGHT AS WELL PAINT HIS FACE BLACK AND HIS LIPS WHITE AND GO TAP DANCE FOR GEORGE BUSH.

    SAME SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO MICHAEL JACKSON. LET THESE DUMB LIL FUCKAS GROW UP BEFORE YOU PUT THEM OUT THERE TO DO GROWN MAN SHIT. BECAUSE THESE ARE THE RESULTS YOU WILL GET.

    • styles11

      ^^^^^^^^
      cosign with the real hommie above me.

      man thats what ive always been saying.
      the majority of the youth are as ignorant as an average Chinese man’s English. and its all because the parents now days just dont give a fuck. if you aint got culture like most americans get some religion up that kids ass ya hear.
      im puttin $$$ that SB aint gonna get slapped or dissed because
      1. most rappers care more about their money than hip-hop
      2. most rappers are ignorant which means they feel the same way.

      Its about time nas and the few real niggas left in hip-hop cleaned up the game and denounced these dumb asses in public instead of just saying “them other rappers are fake” WTF say whos fake give names dont just generalize to get sales

  • Curtis75Black

    To the guy above me, I definitely feel you but you can’t expect the emcee’s you came up embracing to talk about this. This is a new generation problem. Nas, Uncle L, Snoop Scarface, Jay-Z are 2 and 3 generations past homie in some respect. You see what happened to Ice-T ! Nah, this is for the Hottest nigga in the game -Lil Wayne to handle, for Kanye, for TI, for those new emcee’s on the cover for XXL to get into. You didn’t see Dr. J and Bill Russell put Jordan in his place when he was a rookie, you saw Isiah and Magic calling him “Air” Jordan which was short for “Hot Air” – full of it ! When Iverson was talking reckless, it was Jordan then who let him know what’s up ! You do have a point though, this generation has no Balls !! Back in the day without the internet and blogs it didn’t take much to have the whole Hip Hop community on your ass for some dumb shit you said or did. Just a style change and fans as well as peers was in for the kill. New rappers and fans nowadays don’t give a fuck.