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Diddy Sucks T-Pain’s Plastic Pipe

“I gave T-Pain one point on my [upcoming] album for using the Auto-Tune.” -Diddy, Total Finale Live

…and the ringmaster confirms.

“Diddy actually gave me royalties on this album just for using Auto-Tune. He signed the contract and everything. If I can do that with Diddy, somebody else better be signing something. It’s Diddy. He didn’t have to involve me at all… I’m writing and producing on his album, and he gave me extra royalties on top of that for using something I just brought back.” -T-Pain,

Let me get this straight… The Lox had to pay market value, dance in shiny suits they could no longer fit and go get liters of Cambodian breast milk from Fordham Road for their royalties. Yet, today Puffy is handing T-Pain points on a package he hasn’t earned?

If that ain’t bout some fuck nigga shit, I don’t know what is.

[Blogger's Note: Sheek Louch is not a sugar cookie-getter!]

As we discussed the last time T-Pain threw a bitch fit over his precious, it’s not like Pizzle owns a patent on the Auto-Tune software and can sell tokes on the plastic dick like rides on the carousel. Hmmm. Maybe karaoke is a better example. Yeah. It’s not like T-Pain is charging like the Korean karaoke spot. While he and Khaled done made my new favorite video, I’ll be damned to see that old Gummyberry motherfucker actually think he could be checkin other artists for making Snap Hero Karaoke.

I don’t understand how these niggas really think they Stevie Wonder out here.

[Blogger's Note: I hear DJ Khaled and his people are the best.]

It had long-since been confirmed that no one on the corner jacks swagger like Puff. I just thought that when he eventually stopped–as he told us he wouldn’t–that he’d be leaving swagger unmolested, not paying for the shit.

T-Pain got a nigga succeptible to wantin to make an Auto-Tune track right now. I’ll reach out and grab me a handful of that vocoder… and dare him to say somethin. It got so bad around here that a vocoder *ceremonious pause* was more important than food. That’s right. A man’s voice was more important than drinking water.

Back in my prime when I’d hear a sound and it sounded good, just step up to a nigga like T-Pain and say somethin to the effect of, “Look here. I like your sound, and I wants it. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.” And the answer was always “yes.” I ain’t never been turnt down for a collabo my whole time here.

And another thang, these young bucks coming around here with they Auto-Tune love songs like that’s the style. They don’t know that’s attractive to me. There’s no shame in my game. I’m a warrior too, so… let that be known. I’m a warrior. [Name that "warrior."]

Swagger Jacker Negro, please. If Puffy wants to show signs of good faith in his business dealings, he’s got an extensive back catalogue of niggas crying foul to this very day–i.e., every living Bad Boy artist from the 90s. Throw a few points their way before you put anymore of that Gummyberry juice on your cereal, my nigga.

If you’re really in a check writing mood you and Pain need to hit up Roger Troutman’s people.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Ready to get this money by sucking a vocoder ’til its hymen pops?

Alright… I’ll be nice. This is for those of you who got completely lost in the middle of this entry.

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