Why Does Sarah Palin Scare Diddy So Much?

Today’s sign of the apocalypse officially hips us to Bad Boy’s having fallen off. I mean, it’s taken Puffy months to finally drop the remix to “John McCain is Bugging the Fuck Out.”

There was a time when Puffy was like the Oracle of this remix shit.

Andre Harrell: *nodding head* Damn, Sean. What’s this shit? *now screwing face*

Puffy: Heh. You like that, right? That’s that “Flava In Ya Ear” Remix! I’mma get LL Cool J and Busta Rhymes on it! I think I’mma have to let my new nigga Biggie spit on this shit too. Yeah. I can see it now.

AH: *confused look* What’s “Flava In Ya Ear?”

This remix exhibits none of the confidence present in classic reprises like those for “It’s All About The Benjamins,” “Honey” and “Special Delivery.” In fact, he emanates the inverse. Why do we get “Long Kiss Goodnight” Puffy when addressing John McCain but Michael Clark Puffin in The Green Mile when addressing Sarah Palin?

Diddy does know we don’t have to tip our hats and shuffle anymore when a white lady enters the room, right? You don’t even have to hold the door for them if you don’t want or are in a hurry or something. Nigga bout made me want one of them Quiznos $2 Flatbread Sammies… or a Big Philly Cheeseteak.

“Oh, I’s sho scared of Miss Sarah, Bo! I reckon you best let her be.”

Maybe Puff’s scared that if Palin becomes pres-o-dent she’ll finally get back at him for not letting her be one of the Little Mermaid jumpoffs in the “Hypnotize” video.

Puffy ain’t hid under the covers that fast since we banged on his hotel room door and yelled “Dis Suge, nigga! Open the fuck up!”

Times Square Marriot, 1997… Good times. Good times. There must be some consequences and repercussions for going with Asian correspondent Trisha Takanawa instead of Almost Miss Alaska.

She’d have only been crushed by Vanessa Williams in the 1984 Miss America anyway, eerily foreshadowing losing a second big pageant to another eventual First Black Winner. I don’t think her psyche would have been able to recover.

He should have just given the Femme Bot a chance. She might even have been a whooty. Who knows? Lord knows if they ever let Bristol off the Ice Compound she’d find her way into a Gucci Mane video. If the state ever had any black[ish] people besides Carlos Boozer & Trajan Langdon [both of whom played for Duke, strangely], Sarah Barracuda might have had a microcosm of that African soupbone up in her jaws.

Now the only nigga she listened to in the 90s sang lead for Hootie & The Blowfish. We may have been able to avoid all of this had Puffy done his job and let her be Whooty on the Snow Bitch.

[Blogger’s Note: This is seal burger we grillin, holmes. Illegal seal burgerrr.]

Of course, Sarah Palin alone couldn’t break the will of a strapping young buck like Walter Lee Younger. Puffy, like many negroes, takes fright whenever forced to think critically. Anxiety disorders can be common when a nigga neurons get stressed like that. I’m not sure how. I mean, you got the acetylcholine runnin around and then the enzymes and shit… It just happens. When one’s maximum brainpower usage jumps instantly from deciding how much orange juice to pour on Froot Loops to explaining discontent with a candidate’s policies the neuron overload can put a nigga into a vegetative state.

Niggas need to be eased into extreme critical thinking exercises.

What did Diddy think about Palin’s answer to Couric’s question? Did he see the rest of this segment? There were several far more frightening instances of non-answering than that one.

1.    Perhaps Palin didn’t want to namedrop for free. Unlike The Game, this bitch gots code.
2.    Another possibility is that Palin didn’t want to snitch. If she tells you where she gets her info from, the terrorists may harp on it. That’s a matter of national security. Talking about it unneccesarily is just bitchassery.

I don’t tell people they need to be checkin dallaspenn.com like that. I mean, even though dallaspenn.com got the hot shit, there’s no need for me to even show my hand like that. If I’m reading dallaspenn.com when I’m not working on my own shit, then I’m just reading dallaspenn.com. That’s all there is to that.

I’d like to see Diddy’s debate analysis too—even if it would sound something like:

“I don’t understand this shit. Sarah Palin is bugging the fuck out. Alaska?! You could see Russia from Alaska, nigga?! Are there even any black people in Russia? I don’t think there are any black people in Russia. Have you ever even had a Black Russian? Joe Biden is that nigga right now because Sarah Palin is bugging the fuck out.”

Assuming he means well in all of this buffoonery, Diddy still unintentionally brings up a very important point of concern. Is cooning still cooning when you’re cooning to help?

If a coon coons in the woods, can anyone hear him jangle?

Negro, please come out from under them covers. We’s try’n talk some sense into ya, boy.

You also needn’t be reminded that it’s wrong to proselytize your own political views while recruiting new voters. I ain’t voting for the Palin/McCain ticket [that’s what it has become], but I’m also not going to be nudging the youngsters’ levers in a particular direction this weekend as I encourage them to excersize one of the rights a second season of From G’s to Gents may cost us.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Really don’t think #8 Diddy is a serious threat? ron@ronmexicocity.com

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  • geico lizard

    i remember a skit on in living color where damon wayans was a slave who didnt know we were free and he ran into david alan grier
    dw:stop eye ballin that white woman
    dag: you can have that now if you want it my brother.
    diddy sounds like the damon wayans character and now after seeing commercials for dags new show on comedy central i think he may be more dangerous to black people than flava flav and g’s to gents combined.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i am sooooo gonna be watching that shit after south park. he better not let me down… though i got this terrible feeling

      • EReal

        Man, that show looks funny as all hell.

        At least DAG is doing “stand up” and mockery, not just MAKING a mockery, GNOME SANE?

  • anutha_level

    sara palin would GET IT mane…but umm…

    “If a coon coons in the woods, can anyone hear him jangle?”

    i can’t call it.

    • EReal

      NAILIN PAILIN!

  • chad bro chill

    fuck this
    whats going on with the sdn tourney

  • blackcaesar

    I was wonderin’ if anyone else saw this blatant instance of negredom. Diddy of all people should know that shuckin’ and jivin’ is never hot. I guess that’s apart of puff’s swagger. Which by the way didn’t he relinquish rights to the aforementioned p. and uffy part of his former moniker. Who knows I guess the internet has got niggas not knowin’ how to keep in touch wit fans and money will make you do some strange shit.

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    fyi there are black ppl in russia; I saw this drunken-ass black dude on russian TV once talking some nonsense about something or other while falling on his ass. But everyone’s fall-down drunk in Russia all the time, so it wasn’t a big deal or anything.

    PS
    He may have been the only black person in the whole country though

    PPS
    Now that i think about it, maybe that’s why he was on the news in the first place?

  • KF UK

    “Puffy ain’t hid under the covers that fast since we banged on his hotel room door and yelled “Dis Suge, nigga! Open the fuck up!”

    Thats some funny shit man.

    “If a coon coons in the woods, can anyone hear him jangle?”

    BUT that takes the biscuit! dude im gna fuck around and pull some muscles laffing at this shit…

  • KF UK

    BTW Mex

    U gna do an awards for the SDN u know like the espys? some shit like the dummies, shit like Best SDN comeback of the year, biggest SDN moment, 6th SDN of the year, most underatted SDN of the year shit like that?

    That could be worth a read surely!

  • capcobra

    you shoulda gave that suge at the door line to mysonne….i’m still tripping off that man ruining his rep with that bullshit battle….that boy dumber than a diddy blog…lol.

    • 619

      Ruining his rep? What rep? Ness already called it, Mysonne did 8 years for sticking up a taxi. Small time nickel and dime. His biggest guest appearence is still on that Ruff Ryders shit from the 90′s. Mafucker still hasn’t put out an album!

      • capcobra

        no argument here…lol

  • Meech

    If a coon coons in the woods, can anyone hear him jangle?

    FUH KNEE

  • Pierzy

    What up Ron! What is up with Puff?? He is really losing his got dammm mind! For somebody that’s “bigger than the city like down in Times Square” he sure is acting real small with all this shit. Now, I don’t think people will vote/not vote one way or another based on what Mr. Combs says, but he also doesn’t need to become an analyst like Paul Begala when it looks like he’s remaking the Blair Witch film with his camera angles.

    Either way, the days of “Flava In Ya Ear” and “Can’t You See” are long gone. He even produced that Meth/Mary J. remix that copped them the Grammy. Damn, just another career that was altered on March 9th.

  • ShowTime

    Negro Please yah Self. If da thought of Sarah Palin becoming the President doesnt scare the Bejesus out of you, u must not give a Fuck like Geore Bush Jr. Clownin Diddy for his Blogs is one thing.

    Its scarry enough that John Mccain could be our Next Pres but the Possibility of Sarah being in Charge of the country Can make Zeus shit in his pants. Fuk U talking bout?

    She said seing Russia from Alaska gives her Foreign Policy Experience. She Cant Name One Magazine Book or News Paper that she reads.

    Matterfact You should retitle you Blogs to “Bitch Please” and Make fun all the dumb shit she is saying.

    At least Puffy Knows what time it is.
    Do You?

    http://www.myspace.com/showtimeny

  • DETROIT

    “If a coon coons in the woods, can anyone hear him jangle?”

    WTF?, ron you are a silly nigga! THIS IS YOUR BEST LINE YET! that shit sounds like some sort of ancient riddle.

  • Vicious Seiger

    This Republican Stunt [Sarah Palin] is going too far. I saw her or CBS News and I had to say McCain is THIS desperate… THIS DESPERATE to put on this glorified valley girl turned soccer mom turned Gubner [Can you really take her serious saying Governor Palin - neither could I]. Hey I’m definitely not trying to help McCain but this is one of the most unqualifed hoochies I have ever seen. She’s like that girl in high school no one was chasing but should have due to how willing she is to keep you happy even at her own expense. God help us if these two make it in the White House. This is like the formula for a bad NBC Comedy [maybe Smokey and the Hoochie]. I can’t see meeting someone for one day and saying to myself “Yeah that’s just who I want to help me run this country.” I wouldn’t let someone I just met drive my car much less represent me and mine when I need someone to talk in my place. As for Puff he has slowly made himself a walking punchline in the world of entertainment, his antics never really stun me anymore – he’s just another media whore.