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Was Jennifer Hudson being extorted?

I’ve been working like a Hebrew slave since the end of last week. Hence, I’ve been remiss in trying to get to the bottom of the killing Jennifer Hudson’s family in Chicago the other day.

Between getting snarled at by racist, old white women, and gorging myself on pain go bye bye juice, I’ve hardly had the time to flip open my laptop to marvel at the wonder that is Internets pr0n, let alone to email that one African guy that hipped me to the extent of the gang problem up there in the Chi.

Of course, when I heard that Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother had been found killed, and that her nephew had gone missing, the first thing my mind went to is the rumor (or is it?) that pretty much all black athletes and entertainers from the Chi are being extorted by gangs like the BDs, the GDs, and the DLs.

One of these gangs must have tried to squeeze Jennifer Hudson for some Crisco some of that Dreamgirls money. Then, when she couldn’t pay, because you know good and well all of those people from American Idol are indentured to Simon Cowell, they had to do her family just like they allegedly did that pharmaceutical rep that went missing.

When I heard the little boy went missing, I figured they might be holding him for ransom. You know how these drug dealers like to do. There was a similar incident recently out in Las Vegas, where a little boy went missing, and then it turned out his grandpa owed somebody some money for some rocks.

Then once the media got involved, all of a sudden the kid randomly turned on a street corner somewhere, as if he’d been tossed from a moving van. With these Amber alerts and shit, they probably knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be found. And they probably weren’t gonna get any money anyway.

If that kid would have been black, the grandpa would have had the time to scrape together his nickels before anyone even gave a shit that the kid was missing.

Similarly, I was hoping that Jennifer Hudson’s nephew might still be alive, and that whichever one of these gangs was holding him would go ahead and let him go. Since, Jennifer Hudson did somehow manage to win that Oscar, and you know how the media love any story having to do with either a child in danger or a celebrity, let alone both a child in danger and a celebrity.

Never mind the election that’s about to take place in a little over a week, or the two wars still going on, or the economy teetering on the edge of another great depression. I can only imagine what it would have been like if Kelly Clarkson’s nephew would have gone missing. They might have had to postpone the election.

But I suppose I should have known Jennifer Hudson’s nephew was a goner. I mean, if they did the grandma and the uncle the way they did. I wonder if they were ever planning on his safe return in the first place, or if they just wanted people to think that. (They had to remove his body from the scene of the crime for some reason, right?)

It was announced just now (like, as I was sitting here typing this) that the kid was found dead in the uncle’s Chevy Suburban, which had been found parked on the streets somewhere. And I know that the main suspect in the case, the kid’s stepfather, who kinda looks like Sho Nuff, was brought in Saturday and is being held on warrants or some shit, though I don’t know if he aided in locating the boy.

The official story, as of right now, is that Sho Nuff, who was married to the boy’s mother, used to live with the grandma, and that she had to kick him to the curb, and that there may have also been a dispute having to do with a car.

What do you fruits think? Did this kid Sho Nuff kill three people, including his own stepson, over not being able to sleep in the kid’s grandmother’s basement, and also, possibly, a car? Or is the media purposely running with that story to cover organized crime in Chicago, and because they knew people wouldn’t have a hard time believing a 27 year-old black man lives in someone’s basement.

Of course, I’m gonna have to roll with the latter.

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