Welcome to ESDN First Hate. I’m Ron Mexico.
Jemelle Hill and I will be yelling all kinds of foul shit at Skip Bayless later in the program. After Skip’s done crying, I’m taking Ms. Hill upstairs with Dana.
You know… to prepare for tomorow’s show.
Diddy, Weezy, Ya Woy Ply, Wondercheeks, L-Boogie, Earl Obama, Foofy & Kells all survive. You can get the complete breakdown/stats and updated brackets here.
With only seven contests remaining, tensions are beginning to flare around the ESDN offices.
The Elite Hate Division A Matchups
#8 Diddy vs. #4 Lil’ Wayne
Diddy’s stock has risen the highest throughout the course of the tournament. If he gets past Wayne, I don’t know if Plies or Superhead could stop him from getting to the Finals. Those wondering if the reading comments would hurt Mr. Carter can cast their worries aside. Weeziana saw a spike in SDN popularity and crushed The Game[show] last round.
#6 Plies vs. #10 Karrine “Superhead” Steffans
Superhead has made it to the Elite Hate, people! Either the voters are reeeeeally misogynistic, or they truly believe in the strange, idiot savant nature of Hip-Hop’s reigning Black Widow. Plies may want to offer her a ring or something to put this round in the bag for himself.
The Elite Hate Division B Matchups
#4 DMX vs. #9 Lauryn Hill
One of the dumbest SDNs faces one of the brightest in a matchup that will definitely test the limitations of our loose definition. I’d look to the results of this particular matchup as the barometer for whether voters are checking for the smart-dumb delta, intelligence ceiling or idiocy floor.
#7 Flavor Flav vs. R. Kelly
Yet another finals-worthy matchup comes entirely too soon. If only the computer could have thrown one of these niggas into Division A to take Puffy out. Dammit. I won’t tell you who I voted for yet, but damn. Can’t say it didn’t take me a full 20 minutes to decide.
Voting is open. Please perform your civic duty and get after it!
So… Who saw Deebo get knocked the fuck out this weekend?
If you didn’t think at some point a real MMA fighter wasn’t gonna beat the patches off the side of Kimbo Slice’s head, you’re crazy. He can beat up on the round-the-way bums on your block for a few grand at a time, but Kimbo’s a loooong way from competing in any contest of merit in the MMA world.
CBS was smart to make those ratings on Home Slice’s back though. Maybe it’s time for Kimbo to pick up a mic and ride the wave. If Ludacris put Mayweather on a track, maybe Shawty Lo or somebody could get Kimbo.
The nigga used to bust eye sockets out in backyards. Some tough talk on a rap song is a far easier $10,000.
Oh, yeah… Negro Please yourself if you thought Kimbo was going to earn a title in anything other than Bumfight. If you’re wondering what happened to the nigga who looked like he could beat your children with one hand, break your wife’s neck with the other, then step over her to come fuck YOU in the ass… I’m sure he’ll be back in a parking lot near you soon enough.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Can you kick MY ass? firstname.lastname@example.org