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BLOG: Diddy Goes Full Minstrel For Obama

Meet Ciroc Obama.

This licker drankin’, chickin eatin’, sand-dancin’ buffoon was sent to pad the double-digit Obama lead we keep hearing about in TV analyst polls. [Blogger's Note: I'll believe it when me shit turns purple and smells like Rainbow sherbet.] Granted, I haven’t seen BET News since they chose to focus on Bathing Ape and Sean John sweatsuits during the Democratic National Convention, but hey… whatever gets the “urban” audience out and voting, right?

At least Ciroc’s in touch with his target base, whose primary concern clearly will be the long ass lines threatening to keep them from catching that #10 joint on 106 & Park. Plus, you know mama’nem cookin next Tuesday night. Can’t be spending all evening waiting in no damn line.

We only got patience on a line when they givin out that delicious grillin cheese block or when T.I. come down to the Tower Records or whatnot.

The personification of Ciroc Obama looks more like a terrible spoof created by one of the many Klan-inspired EweToubers than it does a heartfelt effort to incite the new junglebunny voter. I can see the guy who put the monkey in a suit now slapping his own head in disgust that he didn’t come up with this video tidbit first.

“See now, that’s not fuck’n fair. I woulda had come up with this here dancin’ turrist [terrorist] first. Damn naggers done got all the presidential masks is all. I couldn’t get my hands on one to make a spoof because the darkies’r already knockin off convenience stores and what have you.”

Ciroc is absolutely correct in asserting that Obama supporters should not feel confident in the polls. Niggas (by which I mean some of our white friends) say they’re voting for Obama until they get behind that curtain. He speaks well enough to receive praise in public, but not enough to really hand the big chair to. Fuck that.

The vlog’s message is actually what’s up for once, but way to negate it with jackassery. You can do a little tongue-in-chicken shuck out of excitement. Hell, I chicken noodle when appropriate from time to time. But a 2-minute full-on Ickey Shuffle is surely too much. I appreciate an Electric–excuse me–Election Slide as much as the next nigga, but damn, homie. That dance shook the message off the board like a Confederate Flag-skinned Etch-A-Sketch. It would have been great if you could–

Lady in crowd: *interrupting Ron Mexico* He’s a NIGGER!!!

Well, I mean… Yes, but… Umm… As I was saying…

I don’t want to Ciroc anything that has to do with my vote, thank you. Niggas will Cranberry Ciroc the vote and end up turning that McCain lever. Besides, it’s okay to go partial minstrel. [See: Mos Def, 16 Blocks] It’s full-minstrel that causes problems come voting time. [See: Entire cast of Soul Plane]

Questions? Comments? Requests? Ready to learn the Civil Rights Shuffle?

I’m going to teach you… teach you… teach you… I’ll teach you the Eleck-shin-Sliiiiide.

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